Perfectionism?

Boy: I want a girlfriend who is as hot as Megan Fox.
Girl: I want a boyfriend who is as attractive as Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
Boy: I want a girlfriend who is gorgeous, understanding, loyal, passionate and good in manners.
Girl: I want a boyfriend who is nice, loyal, committed, caring, and good-looking.
Waiter (mamak): Anything, boss?
Me: I want a cheese 'Naan' and watermelon juice plus milk. (After a few seconds) So, you guys want this kind of partners, right? You want them, I know. But do they want you?

Oops! Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to destroy your imaginations and dreams, I'm not saying that you are wrong by thinking and hoping that way, and I'm surely not saying that I never did all those imaginations above. We're all humans. Hope and dream are what make us humans.

What I'm trying to say is, we always think of only the first part of the possibility; which is the 'I want' part. But what about the second part; the 'They want' part? If there is only one side involved, that can't be called a relationship, can it? A relationship should be mutual.

I've heard this kind of conversations a thousand of times, and I certainly have done it many times as well. But how long are we going to stay like this? We always dream and imagine to have this 'perfect' partner. Have we ever asked ourselves, "Am I good enough to be paired with that perfect person?".

The worst part is, some believe that they are so right that they actually influence other people to believe in the same way, before he or she even gets the chance to try. "No, you should not be with him. He's not good. He's this this, and not that that", or "Dude, you can get better than that". Oh yeah, there ARE people like them.

Well, they act and say like that maybe because they care, or maybe they are just a bunch of dumbshits. My point is, whether or not someone is worthy to be with someone else, only that particular 'someone' can tell. They are the ones who are going to get involved with the relationship. Let them decide. The rest don't interfere. Uh huh, "I'm just giving you an advice", they say. My friend, there's a big difference between 'giving advice' and 'influence'. Advice is neutral.

24 comments:

n July 21, 2009 at 4:32 AM  

nice entry. bese laki ni yg pandang rupa. popuan senang je. kalo laki tu baik agama,educated,kje ok, berebut2 la diorg. muka ensem ngan kaya tu kira bonus aa

in relationship kne giv n take. tapi kebanyakan masa salah sorg byk giv n lagi sorg byk take. tu saket ati tu kot. so bila dtg org len treasure him/her more, senang aa beralih arah.

Just_najmiE July 21, 2009 at 9:49 AM  

yeah, I get what you're saying.. we want so much that we look past whether we're a person worth being with..

but sometimes dreams can come true, right?.. (^^,)

Syafiq July 21, 2009 at 10:34 AM  

aku mcm josh duhammel..boleh dpt mcm fergie x?

Igniz July 21, 2009 at 2:21 PM  

n: yeah bethol! stuju!

najmie: dreams sometimes do come true:)

syafiq: josh duhammel, eh? amik je la, pik..hehe:P

miss AIN July 21, 2009 at 3:21 PM  

nak bf cm patrick dempsey!;p

its not easy to start any relationship..
may be there are some difficulties in the beginning..
as what u said, we always miss the 'they want' part without realized about it..=DD
because we always think about our desire only..thats the biggest prob!

Igniz July 21, 2009 at 3:51 PM  

ain: yes, sometimes the biggest problem doesn't lie in the relationship as a whole, but it lies in ourselves, individually:)

Nieya July 21, 2009 at 6:03 PM  

its better to dream having one rather than having none right??
*wink*

Igniz July 21, 2009 at 8:08 PM  

nieya: that's quite right:P

♥ sOFIa ♥ July 21, 2009 at 8:41 PM  

as long as they can accept each other wholeheartedly for who they are, i guess that would not be a problem.

:)

Igniz July 21, 2009 at 9:32 PM  

sofia: that's exactly the point:)

a kl citizen July 21, 2009 at 10:32 PM  

i juz wanna a mercedes....paid for

Igniz July 21, 2009 at 11:20 PM  

a kl citizen: hehe -_-"

Judiene July 22, 2009 at 6:36 AM  

huhuhu
yeah dude
ur totally rite
i used to say those lines to my friend but after a incident happened to me, i became more matured and now i hate people who do that
like u said, it's not them who involve in the relationship
i couldn't agree more with u
heee...

Igniz July 22, 2009 at 1:31 PM  

judiene: yeah, man:)

anis July 22, 2009 at 6:01 PM  

nice entry :)

but,

people may be blinded by love and somehow the negative sides are concealed with this L word n this is when, advice is needed. and those who advise i think are not the dumbshits.

at least they help u to open up ur mind a lil bit thou everybody knows that it's ur relationship no matter what~

this...is what i tink la :) hehe

Igniz July 22, 2009 at 7:11 PM  

anis: i think u're missing the point here, anis:) what u said was right, but, i'm not saying that giving advice is wrong. i'm saying that by saying "he's not good etc..you shouldn't be with him etc.." is not an advice..that's an influence. because they are putting thoughts into the person. they are telling the person what to do. an advice should be neutral, not condemning someone's else. an advice should give some perspectives to consider, but the thinking should only be done by the person him/herself. UNLESS, that person asks specifically, "Do you think I should be with him/her?", i think nobody has the rights to say "You shouldn't be with him/her".

But that's my opinion la:)

Azie Nazri July 23, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

to me the "I want" part only happens at the crushing stage.
its when you're really serious in finding a soul mate, thats when the "I want" changes into "I need". Because sometimes what we want are not necessarily the best options.

And usually when we need that something in someone, it actually means that we have something that that person needs for him/her also. Thus, thats where the 'you complete me' comes. ;)

And yes, sometimes no piece of advice could beat what the heart wants. :p

Igniz July 23, 2009 at 10:11 PM  

azie: wow..well said! well said! i agree with u:)

Anonymous July 23, 2009 at 10:36 PM  

whohuuu, so so tru
we have to look at ourselves before askin for something or blaming someone else.
well all i have to say is, when u point 1 finger, there are another 4 fingers pointing back at u.. great entry dude.

Igniz July 23, 2009 at 10:52 PM  

anonymous: agree with u, dude. and thanks:)

Max J. Potter July 26, 2009 at 10:08 PM  

edward cullen isn't attractive. he's a sparkling albino vampire with an eating disorder who happens to have self-professed 12-year-old-brained teenage wives all over the world. oh yes. not surprising isn't it? he was created by a pedophile.

i hate twilight.

ok.

true. no one has the right to influence anyone into making a decision when it comes to feelings. i hate it when people do that to me (when i can't decide on which book to buy). i mean..why say something like 'you shouldn't' or 'you should'? why can't you just say 'if you have the money, buy both and if you don't i'll lend some to you'?

huh.

sorry. i don't really know much about love between people. but i'm sticking to this: no one should say should or shouldn't to anyone when they're asked for advice. that's menganiaya namanya.

Igniz July 27, 2009 at 9:21 PM  

max: yes, i feel you, max:)

En. Hizzly July 28, 2009 at 3:21 PM  

aku rindu rambut panajang aku.heheh

Igniz July 28, 2009 at 5:31 PM  

hizzly: aku rasa ko salah tempat nak drop komen ni bro.haha.

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