How I Commit Suicide

Today somebody told me, "If you get committed too soon, I tell you, you're gonna commit suicide." He was referring to relationships, but I assumed somewhere in the middle of his sentence, he was referring to life as a whole.

That sentence jolted me into thinking. If I were to commit suicide, how would I do it? Take drugs or a poison? Boring. Jump off a building? It will get too messy and trouble other people, especially the cleaning part. You know, blood and a splattered brain. Point a gun in my mouth and then pull the trigger? Where the hell should I get the money to get a gun?

I have been thinking a lot, and I finally managed to come up with three possible conditions that can lead me to death. Of course I have to be in the conditions purposely, or else it wouldn't be called 'suicide'.So, I have come out with:

1. Saving another life

If I were to commit suicide, I'd definitely want to save someone at the same time. Pull a pretty girl out of a shark's mouth and then get killed, then she remembers me and makes a promise to never get married. Or run into a burning house to save a baby, can't get out in time, so have to throw the baby out of a window and get myself barbecued. Something like that. But since it's kind of difficult to get this type of situations nowadays, so I have to plan it myself. I mean, put somebody in danger and later save them and die.

2. Doing Mathematics

If I were to commit suicide easily, I'd sit and do several hundreds of Mathematics questions. Those algebraic expressions and whatever, they are dangerous enough to put an end to my life. Give me some of those Mathematics problems, I'll never solve them, but I'll die instantly.

3. Turning gay

No offense to any gay people, but gay is definitely not my life. It will never be my life. So tell me, how do you expect me to live when I don't have a life? How to live without a woman to spend my life with? That's how 'gayness' kills me.

p/s: Hope nobody will take this seriously. I don't want to commit suicide. Suicides go straight to Hell.

22 comments:

nkecik July 29, 2009 at 12:27 AM  

cut your wrist. makan panadol 3 papan. iA mati.

♥ sOFIa ♥ July 29, 2009 at 1:25 AM  

doing maths is gonna kill ya?

heyy. maths is still OK though.
doing chemistry is WORSE.

seriously, i mean it. haha :P

Azie Nazri July 29, 2009 at 1:32 AM  

HAHAHAHAHA dude, too much of anything is never healthy. And that includes THINKING!

:))

Igniz July 29, 2009 at 2:14 AM  

n: why do u always suggest something worse?heheh.

sofia: maths, chemistry, physics, biology or whatever, all will kill me:P

azie: i have to so so so agree with u, though:P

Just_najmiE July 29, 2009 at 7:50 AM  

miahahaha.. I like this one..

Pull a pretty girl out of a shark's mouth and then get killed, then she remembers me and makes a promise to never get married.

but pity the girl though..
XD XD XD XD

farid July 29, 2009 at 9:19 AM  

dah tengok teaser "SETEM"?

(point to my name, pls.)

awesome!!!!!!

Igniz July 29, 2009 at 10:13 AM  

najmie: cool ape..:P

farid: agreeeeee with you:)

Merissa K. July 29, 2009 at 10:27 AM  

i think ur second point tu would only inevitably make u a math genius. and instead of death, u might get fame out of it.

so i think its a bad idea as itll beat the purpose. hahaha. no?

Igniz July 29, 2009 at 10:44 AM  

merissa k: i don't think i'll ever become a math genius..coz i totally suck at numbers:P

a kl citizen July 29, 2009 at 6:04 PM  

like no 1....

Igniz July 29, 2009 at 6:56 PM  

kl citizen: hehe:)

l e n a July 29, 2009 at 11:51 PM  

i've always imagined myself dying in a noble kind of way...example:

to die after getting hit by a vehicle while trying to save an old man/lady crossing the street. seems noble enough, lol

anak pak man July 30, 2009 at 12:08 AM  

Hehe, think before you think..

How about jumping out of a plane with a hot girl with only one parachute and sacrificing that chute for that girl and getting yourself killed in the process. You'll fall in a large meadow-y area (great burial place) and the girl will totally take an oath of abstinence..

Igniz July 30, 2009 at 12:54 AM  

lena: that's quite cool:)

anak pak man: great idea actually. gotta sky dive before dying. i've always wanted to sky dive:)

anisizatyA.J July 30, 2009 at 6:36 PM  

ive thought about suiciding wih cutting my wrists hahah..suicide fantasy..igtkan i sorng je this psycho hahah

Igniz July 30, 2009 at 6:50 PM  

anisizaty: mcm sakit je kelar2 tgn ni:(

mello July 31, 2009 at 9:00 PM  

I've thought about this before (too) so you're def not alone. If I were to commit suicide, I think I'd either slit my wrists and drown or jump.

Igniz July 31, 2009 at 11:08 PM  

mello: slit wrist again? that hurts:P

Aida Hazlan August 1, 2009 at 3:26 PM  

find this entry is refreshing and amusing at the same time. your level of maturity really goes beyond your age. well, age is just a number :) like what people say growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional...


sorry, im ramblin' ... have a nice day.

Aida Hazlan August 1, 2009 at 3:27 PM  

find this entry is refreshing and amusing at the same time. your level of maturity really goes beyond your age. well, age is just a number :) like what people say growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional...


sorry, im ramblin' ... have a nice day.

Igniz August 1, 2009 at 4:21 PM  

aida: thanks for dropping by. and thanks for the comment, too:)

Shasha Moza August 15, 2009 at 10:34 PM  

Loneliness kills! Believe me

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