How To Get Anyone To Like You In 30 Seconds Or Less

I read this book by Rebecca Marina a few months ago. I think the book is quite simple yet interesting. It talks about things that are so trivial, that we always fail to realize, but they actually hold the keys to a successful communication. Credit goes to her. I'm just reviewing and sharing it with any of you out there.

1. Smile

Yes, the most popular verb and noun you'll probably hear whenever you ask for communication tips. But how many of you realize that by just smiling, your whole mood and body language can improve so much? The author suggests that you should always smile with your whole being, and you'll see what she means by that.

2. Exude Confidence

Don't go around people and show that you are in need and depending on others. Nobody wants to be with someone who appears needy and 'clingy'. Show your confidence. Maybe now you're feeling less about it, but try practicing it in front of the mirror, and you'll see such a huge difference it makes.

3. Breathe

Some people tend to hold their breath when they meet someone new, or the person that they admire. Well the problem is, when you hold your breath, your body becomes tense. Becomes static. Therefore, the author claims that you should take a few deep breaths before talking to someone. Plus, statistically speaking, it is impossible to panic and breathe slowly at the same time.

4. Look People In The Eye

Eyes are the windows to your soul. So why don't you use them? You look away from the person you're talking to, then it means you're sending a red flag signal to him or her. But if you look into their eyes, not staring, just simply gaze into them, they will definitely understand how you feel. Research shows that eye gazing always relates to falling in love. Eyes produce trust.

5. Open Your Arms

By opening your arms, you expose your heart. It shows that there is nothing in you that can make people feel fear of your presence. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Just keep it simple. It makes both you and him or her feel "everything is alright".

6. Point Your Heart At The Person Or Group You're With

You've already opened your arms to expose your heart. Now it's time to point your heart to where it belongs. Show them the message, "I open my heart to you". If you're talking to a large group, turn your body from side to side so that everybody can 'feel' your heart. Everybody loves a person with an open heart!

7. Move Like A Young Person

It doesn't matter if you're young or not, just allow yourself to move like a young person. You'll understand how the way you move makes you feel alive, or the other way round. If you don't like yourself, how can you expect other people to like you?

8. Appreciate Them

Find something about them to appreciate. It can be their voice, attire, or movement. Anything you can find and truthfully appreciate. Then bring that 'thing' into you heart, and allow your energy and body language to reflect it. People will see that you appreciate them, and start to like you instantly!

9. "So, Tell Me About Yourself!"

The irresistible words. Everybody loves talking about themselves, but not all get the chance to do so. Give them the chance, and you'll see how they'll feel about you. Plus, by allowing them to talk about themselves, you're actually helping yourself to determine how close you want the relationship to become.

10. Validate! Validate! Validate!

Nobody in this world wants to lose the feeling of being validated. Everybody craves for validation. Give them. Whatever you want for yourself, be that to others. It will come right back to you.

p/s: I used my 'do Chapter Two of the term paper' time typing this. So you'd better use the tips and make my sacrifice worth every single one of it! Haha.

26 comments:

Judiene July 5, 2009 at 12:51 AM  

huhuhu
to me, its easy to smile when meeting people
but it gets hard when u meet people u admire or when u r nervous
hahaha
i tried to smile but a couple of seconds later it went to my ordinary face expression
which is not good when meeting people
hahahaa

:)

Mr K July 5, 2009 at 1:04 AM  

I really love this. Seriously, I got kind of prob about my self confident and how to become more friendly.

anak pak man July 5, 2009 at 1:09 AM  

I don't quite understand how you can "open your heart" to someone...
bypass surgery maybe?

miss AIN July 5, 2009 at 2:02 AM  

bahye ney..kang sume org pon suke!;p

l e n a July 5, 2009 at 2:07 AM  

gosh..i hope these 10 steps work! (closes eyes, crosses fingers)

hahaha

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 9:57 AM  

judiene: then practice the breathing skills in front of the mirror:P

mr.K: i hope the tips are helpful:)

anak pak man: that is one way to do it:P

ain: best la kan kalau suma suka kita:)

lena: i think they work:P

Just_najmiE July 5, 2009 at 11:14 AM  

if you asked me no 9, I'd story u non-stop coz I'm a talkative person.. lalalalala~~ (^^,)

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 12:54 PM  

najmie: then maybe you've got to stop and breathe slowly for a while?;)

Precious July 5, 2009 at 2:11 PM  

It gets better in time. Experience teaches a lot. Just have faith and u'll be ok.

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 2:42 PM  

precious: agreed:)

♥ sOFIa ♥ July 5, 2009 at 3:12 PM  

look ppl in the eye?
heee. bahaya ouh.

Anonymous July 5, 2009 at 3:38 PM  

i think just by smiling will take you a looong way. dontcha think?

Niji July 5, 2009 at 4:20 PM  

i don't get no 7.
move like a young person?
as in... move like a...jellyfish?

sorry..don't have better example..
but i'm sure i'm not gonna make your other effort go to waste :)

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 7:16 PM  

sofia: tak bahaya, tak bahaya:P

anonymous: agreed:)

niji: i think no. 7 refers to certain people who believe when they get older, they must 'act' old..like body becomes so tense..or don't move a lot. so the author suggest that moving a lot can help them communicate better..:)

Firol July 5, 2009 at 8:48 PM  

Senyum......:)

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 10:32 PM  

firol: ye, senyum....:)

faz July 5, 2009 at 10:47 PM  

maybe i should smileeeeeeeeeeee
wlau apa jua n dimana jua.
haha.
:D

Niji July 5, 2009 at 11:16 PM  

i understand now!
in other words..
be young at heart!
is that right?

Igniz July 5, 2009 at 11:42 PM  

faz: yes, that is one way to do it..it's always better to smile.but sometimes to cry is also a good way to express yourself..just don't overdo it:)

niji: exactly:) when your heart is young, your body shows:)

Nene July 6, 2009 at 12:36 AM  

Owhhh,no wonder.*monolog*

haha

anis July 6, 2009 at 1:28 AM  

8.Appreciate them

-tengs for dis post ^^

Igniz July 6, 2009 at 9:49 AM  

nene: hehe, no wonder, kan?:P

anis: no problem:)

aiMo0o July 6, 2009 at 9:03 PM  

love this~ love this~ love this~

loike it a lot!

thank God i have no problem in making conversation but to make people like me in 30seconds? this tips are really helpful..! thank u Sir Igniz!!

Igniz July 7, 2009 at 12:02 AM  

aimooo: don't thank me..thank Rebecca Marina:) but i'd understand if you're so happy and feeling like buying me something:P

aiMo0o July 8, 2009 at 12:45 PM  

haihhh... nak suh blanja makan kat subway la tuh... ish2!

Igniz July 8, 2009 at 1:47 PM  

aimooo: eh, eh, i tak ckp pun:P

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