The Best Pick Up Lines (To Fail)

1. "Do you have a boyfriend? I'd like to know you, so if you do have one, then first I'll be asking whether or not you're happy with him. If you are, then I'm gone. But if you aren't feeling happy, then I'd like to replace him. I'd like to try. But if you don't have a boyfriend, then I'd like to give it a shot right away. So, what say you? Am I talking too fast?"

Failure rate: thankfully only 40%.
Reason: Too many words spoil the mood.
Possible candidates to take the bait: National debaters.

2. "Hi. My phone number is missing. Can I borrow yours?"

Failure rate: 50%, the least.
Reason: You are giving her a chance to say 'No' by using the word 'Can'.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Post-SPM students.

3. "Hi. Maybe this is not the first time you hear this, but did anybody tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes?"

Failure rate: around 60%
Reason: It obviously shows that you have been 'observing' other girls as well. Duh.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Lonely widows.

4. "You can fall from a mountain. You can fall from a tree. You can fall from the sky. You can even fall into a drain. But do you know the best way to fall? It' fall in love with me!"

Failure rate: 70%, perhaps?
Reason: Too long. The girl might just leave you during the second 'fall'.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Degenerate poets.

5. "Hi. Don't get me wrong okay? Maybe you saw me staring at you just now, but not for the reason you think. I was looking at you because my friend said that you were so beautiful. But when I looked at you, I said, 'which part'?"

Failure rate: probably 80%
Reason: Insensitive!
Possible candidates to take the bait: Mad politicians.

6. "You look tasty. You make me feel like grabbing you..hmmm..licking you, biting you, squeezing you..."

Failure rate: positively 90%
Reason: Too honest! Pervert.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Desperate housewives.

7. "Hi. Hey, did you know that in Algebra, when numbers are added or subtracted, they are called 'terms'. When numbers are multiplied, they are called 'factors'..?"

Failure rate: almost 100%
Reason: Mathematics!
Possible candidates to take the bait: Xenophobic nerds.

p/s: Don't take this seriously. I'm not an expert.:P

How Are You Feeling Today?

(1) Excited (2) Pissed (3) Troubled (4) Crazy (5) Emotionless
(6) Restless
(7) Wicked (8) Sad (9) Horny

p/s: I drew this when I was 14, during Mathematics lesson (as usual):P

Sure You Know Yourself Better?

This is the most interesting topic that I ever studied in TESL. ‘The Theory of Multiple Intelligences’ by Dr. Howard Gardner (1983).

Before we proceed, allow me to remind you that you can either be one of them, or be more than one of them, or even all of them. Like you said, you know yourself better.

1. Verbal-linguistic Intelligence (word smart)
People who possess this intelligence are very good in dealing with words and languages. Spoken and written. They are typically good at reading and writing, as well as providing explanations, using persuasive skills and talking. They enjoy debating, discussing, telling stories and memorizing.

They’re most probably writers, lawyers, philosophers, poets, journalists, teachers, or politicians.

2. Logical-mathematical Intelligence (number/reasoning smart)
People with this intelligence enjoy calculating, reasoning, experimenting, recognizing and solving things. They are very good with numbers. This intelligence also correlates strongly with the traditional concept of ‘intelligence’ or ‘I.Q’.

They’re most probably mathematicians, engineers, doctors, and economists.

3. Visual-spatial Intelligence (picture smart)
This intelligence deals with visual and spatial judgment. People with this type of intelligence are normally good in visualizing and memorizing. Other than that, they are also quite skilled in hand-eye coordination, and artistically inclined, which means they can draw and appreciate pictures and images.

They’re most probably artists, architects and engineers.

4. Bodily-kinaesthetic Intelligence (body smart)
This intelligence involves body movement and physical activities. People with this intelligence enjoy sports. They learn by moving around and experiencing the knowledge themselves rather than just reading and hearing about it.

They’re most probably athletes, dancers, builders and soldiers.

5. Musical Intelligence (music smart)
Musical intelligence refers to the ability to display greater sensitivity to sounds, rhythm, music and tones. People who possess this intelligence have a very high level of listening skills. They usually work best with music playing in the background. Please be reminded that good at singing doesn’t make a person musically intelligent, but musically intelligent will normally lead that person to being a good singer.

They’re most probably singers, composers, instrumentalists, and disc-jockeys (DJ).

6. Intrapersonal Intelligence (self smart)
People with this intelligence work best when they are allowed to concentrate on the subject by themselves. They are usually introverts and prefer to walk alone. Despite that, these people are highly self-aware of their own emotions, goals and motivations.

They’re most probably philosophers, psychologists, writers, entrepreneurs and scientists.

7. Interpersonal Intelligence (people smart)
These are the people who understand others’ moods, feelings, and motivations. They also have the ability to cooperate and work as a team. They are extroverts, and normally characterized by their sensitivity to emotions provided by people around them. Communication and empathy are two things that drive them, and factors that make them a good leader respectively.

They’re most probably politicians, managers, teachers, social workers and salespersons.

8. Naturalistic Intelligence (nature smart): added in 1997
This intelligence deals with the ability to involve nature in learning, which leads to understanding one’s natural surroundings. These people are very sensitive to nature, and capable of nurturing and growing things, or interacting with animals with ease. And recognizing and classifying things are their favourites.

They’re most probably scientists, naturalists, gardeners and farmers.

There are also other intelligences explored by Gardner and his colleagues, but these eight are the most occurring intelligences in people. As for me, I'm verbal-linguistic, visual-spatial, intrapersonal and interpersonal. What's yours?

Mathematics Isn't That Important

Some people say that we can never live without Mathematics. That's why we need to excel in the subject in order to succeed in life. Well, I have been thinking, and I believe, except for Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division, and perhaps Statistics, the rest of Mathematics don't really matter. Here I provide some situations to prove my belief..:P

1. Eating:

When you eat, you just want to enjoy the taste of the food. You don't want to know the PROBABILITY of the food, telling that it can be made by using a number of methods, or can be consumed in a number of ways.

One example that you won't do:
"There are seven ways to eat this pizza. I've done a rough calculation, and my guts tell me that three out of those seven ways will hurt my stomach"

2. Buying:

When you want to buy an item at a shop, you'll just tell the shopkeeper the item that you want. You don't tell him the ANGLES of the location of the particular item.

One example that you won't do:
"I want a new cell phone, and I'm quite attracted by the one that is located exactly 90 degrees on your left. And also the one on your right, 57 degrees. Can you get them for me?"

3. Watching TV:

When you watch a drama on TV, you will be focusing on the dialogues, characteristics and expressions produced by the characters. You don't talk about their ALGEBRAIC EXPRESSIONS.

One example that you won't do:
"Mom, I think the solution of the equation between those two characters is not logical. The algebraic expression that corresponds to the amount that Maria would need is $(3 + 2n). Don't you think so?"

4. Attending school:

In a classroom, a teacher normally asks about how many students are not present on the day, with an accurate number to be expected as an answer. You don’t give the information in FRACTIONS.

One example that you won’t do:
"Teacher, it is approximated that 1/2 of the class are not here today. Since we have 37 students in this class, 1/2 is equal to 18.5 students. So, 18.5 students are absent today"

5. Communicating:

When you communicate with another person, you will always talk about yourself or the person you’re talking to. You talk about topics that are friendly and involve feelings and thinking. You don’t talk about PYTHAGORAS' THEOREM.

One example that you won’t do:
“Hi there. How are you? Anyway, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for quite a long time.
(a – b) 2 = a2 – 2ab + b2, which means,
52 = (10 – 5)2
= 102 – (2)(10)(5) + 52
= 100 – 100 + 25 = 25...isn’t that amazing?”

6. Flirting:

When you want to flirt with someone, you always look for some creative and interesting ideas like jokes, poetry, pick up lines, or just simple expressions. You don’t talk about complicated things like QUADRATIC EXPRESSIONS and EQUATIONS.

One example that you won’t do:
“Did anybody tell you that you are so 2x2+3x+1=0, x2+x=2x+3, (x+2)(x+3)=5?”

7. Getting married:

When you want to get married, you’ll need to prepare yourself for a lot of responsibilities. You’ll need to save some money, develop relationships and get some good advice. You totally don’t need a GEOMETRIC SOLIDS formula.

One example that you won’t do:
“Things that I need to prepare:
1. Place for the ceremony. If possible, try to book a hall.
2. Estimate the size of the hall.
3. Since the hall is...radius: ( 71.315 pm 0.437 ) km; radius as miles ~ 19. Miles, the number of expected guests would be.....”

8. Dying:

When you are about to die, you will ask for a final wish. That wish will normally be about your family, or relationships. Or maybe some other stuff as well. You won’t have time to think about TRIGONOMETRIC FUNCTIONS.

One example that you won’t do:
“Son..for my final wish...I want you to understand..that.. the positive section of the real number line can be wrapped many times over in the anticlockwise direction. Similarly, the negative section of the number line can be wrapped many times over in the clockwise direction....”

Can you see now? Mathematics is not that important. We hardly use it in life. You shouldn't be worried when you failed the subject. :P

I got these awards from (1) Miss Sharpie Sha and Ina Bendtner, (2) Miss Aqila, and (3) Miss Max J. Potter. And I'm happy to say that I don't see any Mathematics formula involved in these awards. Thanks you:)

p/s: Maths lovers, please don't kill me.

What Do I Have In Mind?

I had an interesting English teacher when I was 13. She was very strict when it came to giving homework and exercises. But, her method of teaching was so cool and engaging. I enjoyed her classes very much. So, one day she told us that when she was just a little girl, she always asked ‘witty’ questions like “Do grasshoppers close their eyes when they sleep?”. Her family and teachers would always get a headache trying to answer those questions.

When she told the class about that habit of hers, I told myself, “Hey, I always do that, too!”

Yeah, I always asked that kind of questions, too. I still do now. But I never troubled my family or my teachers with those questions. I only asked myself.

So, these are some of the questions that I used to and always ask:

6 years old: "when we eat and drink, will the food and water go down straight to our knees?"

Current status: answered

9 years old: "why do women get pregnant after they got married?"

Current status: answered

12 years old: "why do cats enjoy licking each other’s butt?"

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

13 years old: "how did the first person in the world to cut his hair know that cutting hair will not hurt him?" (I mean, the hair was a part of his body)

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

14 years old: "how did women from the Stone Age know that blood which came out from their vagina was not caused by an injury or internal bleeding?"

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

15 years old: "how did women from the Stone Age (again) know that when their stomach was getting bigger after having sex, it wasn’t a disease?"

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

16 years old: "why can’t we open our eyes while sneezing?"

Current status: answered

17 years old: "how did people from different places, and had different languages, translate and understand each other’s language when they first met?" (Imagine that they were the first people in the world to encounter a new language. No books to refer to, nobody to help them)

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

20 years old: "why do policemen still want to say “Hey! Stop running!” or, “Let her go!” or, “Drop your guns!” to criminals when they know that they (the criminals) will never listen to a word they say?"

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

21 years old until now: " Who first created all the languages that exist in the world now? Who first invented all the words that can be found and pronounced in all those languages? I mean, whatever we are saying, like ‘Friend’ in English, ‘Kawan’ in Malay, ‘Tomodachi’ in Japanese, ‘Dost’ in Hindi, and ‘Pengyou’ in Mandarin, who first suggested them? How did they know that they should be ‘pronounced’ that way?" (do you get me?)

Current status: still waiting for the answer from the moon

p/s: I enjoy playing with my own mind (^ . ^) V

I'm Becoming More Human

When I was a kid, I always made fun of my mother every time she cried while watching a sad movie on TV. I used to say, "Nak baldi ke, mak?" (mom, do you need a bucket?) while mimicking her sad face. She would ignore me. I laughed. The next time she cried again in front of TV, I would say, "Betul mak taknak baldi?" (sure you don't want a bucket?). And that would go on and on until I myself got bored.

I was able to do that because I was heartless. Whenever I watched a sad movie, I would say, "Okay, this part is quite dragged on...hurry up already!"

But that didn't last long.

About five to six years ago, I started to have feelings. I'm not sure how it started, but there was a Malay drama, and I watched it alone in the room. Then there was this part where the main character, who was mentally and physically challenged, dying on his mother's lap. And this mother, together with her husband, had been ignoring him since he was a child (because he was not 'normal' and they were ashamed of him). But one day they heard this son praying for them, and they were touched, but they were too late. The son had to die (I can't remember why) and I was like, "Ngngngngngng!" biting my pillow! I asked myself, "Darn, why does this have to be so sad??". I almost cried. Almost.

That was it. The first transformation. Then I watched 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham' and I held my jaw tightly. I watched 'The Notebook' and my lips were dancing up and down. And recently, I watched 'Seven Pounds' and my nostrils were, umm, sometimes they were quite big, and sometimes they were not that big. I almost cried. Almost.

I do not know what is wrong with me, and I surely am not sure how it ever started. But I am more human now. Haih.

p/s: I have never cried watching a movie or whatever, yet. Almost, but did not cry. Huhu.

Five People Who Will Teach You How To Live

1. The pregnant woman at the bus stop.

When you were a kid, you saw a pregnant woman at the bus stop, you said, "She must have a very big appetite". When you were a bit older and saw the same pregnant woman at the bus stop, you said, "Again?". Now, you are old enough and you see the very same pregnant woman again at the bus stop, you say, "She must be a scoring machine".

Lesson to live: "The more the merrier"

2. Your angry Mathematics teacher.

If you enjoy learning Mathematics, and your teacher gets angry with you because you failed in the exam, you'll promise, "I'll learn and do better in the future!". If you don't enjoy learning Mathematics, and your teacher gets angry with you because you failed in the exam, you'll promise, "I'll learn and do better, in other subjects!"

Lesson to live: "There's more than one way to skin a cat"

3. Your patient driving instructor.

The first day of driving lesson, your instructor says, "Wait! That's not the brake paddle, that's the steering!". The second day of driving lesson, your instructor says, "Wait! That's not a road, that's a human!". The last day of driving lesson, you'll say, "Thank you, sir! Like you said, no pain no gain, it's true!". Your instructor says, "It's literally true".

Lesson to live: "Obvious no pain no gain"

4. The shopkeeper of the shop that you always go.

You ask for sugar, he gives you a stapler. You say, "This isn't sugar". You ask for a cooking oil, he gives you a piece of blank paper. You say, "This isn't a cooking oil". You ask for a bottle of mineral water, he gives you a bottle of blue ink. You say, " What are you, deaf?" He replies, "What are you, blind? The sign reads, 'Bedullah's stationery shop'!".

Lesson to live: "Seeing is believing"

5. The doctor whose handwriting you can never read.

You come to have your body checked, the doctor examines you and says, "You're quite sick. I'll give you a prescription". You come to have you body checked one more time, the doctor examines you and says, "You're okay, but I'll give you a prescription, just to be safe". Later, you come to have your body checked again, and immediately you say, "Just give me the prescription already. You always have a reason to make me pay anyway".

Lesson to live: "An apple a day keeps the money away, anyway"

p/s: I'm confused, and under pressure.*sigh sigh sigh*

An Advice From A 'Practicum' Teacher

To those who have finished the 'Final Year Thesis' ('Term Paper' some might call):

Go celebrate heartily. Go hang out somewhere, have fun, and make some bad decisions. Regret later. Celebrate like you're the happiest and greatest person on Earth. Celebrate like you got Kate Beckinsale as your girlfriend (for boys), like you got Hugh Jackman as your boyfriend (for girls). Then make sure you find a new one the next day. You deserve a new one everyday. You deserve it.

To school students:

Be prepared. You haven't seen Hell yet. Don't cry if you got straight 'Es' for your SPM papers. Save your tears for the thesis in your upcoming college years. Leave and let your girlfriend suffer with her menstrual pain. Leave and let your boyfriend with a dumber girl. Because when you get your title (for your thesis), you won't be able to care less about the rest.

To suicides who still fail to die:

Have you tried a new way? Have you run out of ideas? I got one. Go to a college, find a supervisor, tell him (or her) that you have a title for your thesis. Make sure it is approved, then proceed with the research designs. You will die. Promise.

To those who have not finished the 'Final Year Thesis' ('Term Paper' some might call):

Get a pet. Make sure it's not gay. Play with it, feed it. You need it. After you get bored with it, find a psychiatrist. Tell him (or her) that you need help. When he (or she) asks, "what kind of help?", you answer, "with my thesis". I'm sure you'll feel better. If that doesn't work, then get yourself almost-killed, get hit by a car or something. At least you'll have a reason to extend, without being labeled as 'Failed'.

p/s: I'm under pressure.*sigh*

Define ‘Nerd’, Please...

It’s funny actually, the fact that when people brand me as a ‘nerd’, instead of being angry with them, I feel more like, laughing my ass off them. Yes, I admit that I’m a nerd. It’s obvious. I read a lot. I read books and comics. I write a lot. I write stories, poems, and am planning to write a book after this. And I don’t smoke, I don’t go clubbing, I don’t drink, I don’t spend my time hanging around at night, I don’t deal with drugs. And I just got my driving licence a few months back. My friends always told me, “Get a life, dude! Don’t be such a nerd!” I totally admit it, seriously. The only activities that I love joining them are playing sports: basketball, futsal, bowling and badminton.

But again, what is a nerd?

1. A person who is boring, stupid and not fashionable.
2. A person who is very interested in computers.

(Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary 7th Edition.)

3. An intelligent but single-mindedly expert in a particular technical field or profession.
4. An insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or boringly studious.

(The Sage’s English Dictionary And Thesaurus)

See? I even took my time looking for the definitions! I am so nerd.

Boring and not fashionable, I cannot say whether or not I am ‘those’. But I’m pretty sure that I’m spontaneous and able to come up with ideas (brilliant and stupid) when the time’s right. And I certainly DON’T LIKE wearing a shirt tucked in, with a pair of slacks, and a tie around my neck. I prefer jeans and T-shirts, and a bangle for my left wrist. I don’t like watches. Interested in computers? I’m sure I love them only for entertainment. I’m not interested in the software and hardware.

Intelligent. Hm, I don’t know if I can be considered intelligent, but I’m sure I’m not stupid. Studious? Hell no! Ask my classmates, you’ll know that I go to classes just to maintain my attendance record. I’ll sleep, or draw pictures during the lectures, and I definitely HATE jotting down notes. Ask my housemates, you’ll know that I study at the very last minutes, and spend most of the time watching movies on the computer screen.

Do these facts make me a not-nerd boy? No! Because I’m not cool. I don’t do cool stuff like the cool boys do. So what am I, actually? A confused-nerd, maybe.

I don’t like rules. I certainly don’t like following petty rules like “Students must not wear jeans to class” and whatnot. I’m quite hot-tempered. But I don’t hit people when I’m pissed. I hit things. I used to punch the wall every time my heart was burning, until my hands bled. I once gave a fist to a door in my hostel, and it was damaged. I once punched into the mirror in my room, and it broke into pieces. I once kicked a CPU at my home, and it was out of service for quite a while. And none of them was cool. It was stupid.

I’m always confused with myself, honestly. Am I the good guy, or the bad guy? I don’t do bad stuff (yet?), but I don’t do the good ones either. So when people said that I’m a nerd, it actually jolted me into thinking. Yes, I LOVE thinking. But I wasn’t angry. If I was, then probably I was already in a bad mood. But not because of the ‘N’ word.

A few hours ago, some of my blog-friends told me that I’m a nerd. They were referring to the way I write and the way I speak (through comments). I told myself, “Again.”

Anyway, I’m not angry with them, honestly and sincerely. And I do blaspheme and use vulgar words a lot in real life, and I’m not proud of it. That’s why in here, I made a promise to myself that I’ll try my best not to practice any of those blaspheming and cursing. Try to be as polite as I can. Love and peace, that's all.

p/s: My girl friends ('kawan perempuan'/best friends and classmates) always told me that I’m extremely naughty. What does that even mean?

My Cats Are Gay

I have four official, and about three unofficial cats. 'Official' means they are mine, obviously. 'Unofficial' here means they are not mine (they belong to my aunt and neigbours) but they always spend their sweet time at my house, and they even have breakfast and lunch, at my house. Be my guest.

So, two of my official cats, one is named 'Oyen' (Orange) and another is 'Kuning' (Yellow). They are very cute and fluffy. Especially that 'Oyen'. He's about 6-8 months old, while 'Kuning' is 2 months younger. I love both of them. Until yesterday:P

I was going out to buy lunch when I suddenly caught both of them red-handed, under my car!!(Okay, it's my brother's car). 'Oyen' was on top of 'Kuning'! Immediately I ran back into the house and asked my mother.

Me: Mom, that 'Kuning', is it male, or female? (Mak, Kuning tu jantan ke betina?)
Mom: I think it's a male cat..(thinking)..yup, it's a male. (Rasanya jantan..(fikir)..ha'ah, jantan.)
Me: Oyen is banging Kuning under the car! (Oyen tengah main ngan Kuning kat bawah kereta tu!)
Mom: They are always like that.. (Diorang memang macam tu..)

I was like, "What the @%$# is going on??". Both of them are males! I went back to the car and saw they were having 'sex', ignoring me. And 'Kuning' was screaming.

Kuning: Urgh..!! Damn it!
Oyen: Relax..relax dudey..
Kuning: Damn it, Oyen!

Okay, I'm making myself look stupid by translating their conversation. Can I throw up? But you get the point, right?

Later my mother told me that my aunt's male cats were also banging each other. What???
What now, is this a new trend for them? Gay is the new way? Duh.

Yesterday night, when Oyen came to me and tried to play around me, I kind of ignored him. I said, "I don't deal with gay cats." Let's consider that was a punishment, for him.

And when I think about it again, I AM SO GLAD THAT I AM STRAIGHT, THAT I LOVE GIRLS SO MUCH. It wouldn't be fun if everything is JUST the same thing, would it? Hee. Love and peace.


Today I came to you
with a smile or two
but you passed me through
with the invisibility of you

I turned around and said
“Don’t act like I’m dead!”
you certainly made me sad
when you ignored me like that

I ran towards you and asked why
you didn’t say and started to cry
then you looked up high in the sky
and wished the tears would come to dry

I tried so hard but failed to understand
what was there for me to comprehend
then a man came and said while holding your hand
“He’s no more, will you rise and stand?”

I Slapped My Mother Once, Or Maybe More

I wasn't joking when I said that (the title). I really did it.
This is what happened.

I was 16 (or maybe 14), I can't exactly remember when. My mother and I lived alone. All of my brothers were married, two of them moved out while the other one was staying at his in-law's. It was 1.00 AM, in the dark morning. I was sleeping, and so was my mother.

Then suddenly, I heard a scream. A very loud scream. Hysterical scream. "Waaaaaaaaaaaargggggghhh..!!!!!!!". I was damn scared, and I asked myself, "what the hell is that?? (pebende pulak ni??)". Then I noticed that the scream was coming from my mother's room. I went out of my room and ran towards my mother's. While running, I told myself, "this is not good, be ready to see something horrifying! (benda tak baik ni. Bersedia untuk nampak benda xbest!)". In my mind, I was already thinking that my mother saw 'something' (that was the reason for her screaming, I thought). The image of ghosts had already come into my brain.

I went into the room. I looked everywhere, I saw nothing. No ghost. Then I looked at my mother. She was sitting on the bed, screaming so loudly with her wide eyes, as wide as you can imagine. I panicked. I held my mother's arms and asked, "what's wrong?? Mom?? (nape ni?? Mak??)". She didn't respond and kept on screaming. In panic, I slapped her!

Nothing happened. She was still screaming! So I slapped her again and again. She didn't budge. So I started reading (saying) some of the Koran (Al-Quran) verse (Qursi), but I forgot the last verse of it! I had been reading the Qursi every night before I went to sleep, but I forgot at that very moment! Then my mother started speaking, very vaguely. She said, "call your aunt.. (panggil alang... (makcik))". Then I rushed towards the telephone. I dialed the number. And again, I forgot the last two numbers! (I swear to God these are what happened at that moment, I kept forgetting things. And I'm pretty sure that 'panic' was the reason.)

So I went outside and called for help. My uncle, my neighbours and my eldest brother (he lived in the same area) responded in shock. They said that they DID NOT hear a sound. In my heart I said, "are you kidding me?? Mom was screaming like hell and none of you heard it?? You guys are living next door! (gila ke apa?? Mak jerit bagai nak rak, sorang pun tak dengar?? Korang duduk sebelah rumah je pun!)"

So five of us (me, uncle, brother, aunt and neighbour) held her tightly, together. At the same time, another aunt of mine (yes, we family are staying close by) called my eldest uncle (her and mom's eldest brother (do I need to explain this?)). He came, and thank God, he knew what to do (or read). And everything was back to normal.

After being checked by the expert (my distant aunt), she said that the 'thing' that attacked my mother was originally from my late grandmother (in our culture, we called it 'saka', some sort of heritage (in a spirit form)). After my grandmother passed away, 'it' started to feel 'lonely' and wanted somebody to listen to 'it'. My mother was the 'lucky' winner. And the innocent me was the 'lucky' witness.

I kind of lost my 'courage' for a month after that incident. I became 'phobic' at night. But later on, somehow I managed to cope with it, and thank God, I'm a better man now. And my mom, she said she didn't feel a thing when I slapped her. Hee.

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