My Mother

Situation One:
We were talking about giving one of my cats a shower since it got so messy. This is the translated version of the conversation.

Me: Instead of doing it in a hard way, why don't we just hand-wash it, 'soak' it into a bucket full of water and bubbles, instead? Just do it exactly like how we wash our clothes. (Joking)

Aunt: Are you crazy? Do you want to kill the cat?

Mom: Can we use the washing machine instead? (Not joking)

Me: ?????

Aunt: Do you want your cat to drown??

Mom: I don't think it will ever drown. Just put it in the machine for a minute or so, with less water. (Still not joking)

Aunt: It WILL drown!

Mom: You sure? Even just for a minute? (Obviously, not joking)

Situation Two:
I was having a hot fever, with flu and a hacking cough, and couldn't get up from my bed. A week before I went to visit a friend of mine who was infected by an unknown virus and admitted into the Intensive Care Unit (I.C.U). A day after I got the flu, my uncle was holding a function at his house. The relatives were there and asking for me. My mom explained to them why, and then told me the next morning. This is the translated version of the conversation.

Mom: They asked you to go to the hospital.

Me: Why so?

Mom: They were afraid that you got that swine flu, because you went to visit your friend who got infected by the same virus last week.

Me: Who told you that my friend got sick because of the swine flu?

Mom: You did.

Me: No, I told you he was infected by an unknown virus, admitted to the I.C.U. But it wasn't the swine flu.

Mom: Oh. (Thinking)

Me: "Oh"? (Wondering)

Mom: I told them that your friend was sick because of the swine flu, and dying.

Me: He's not dying. I never told you that. (When mom? When? When?)

p/s: My mother is the most innocent person in the family. (-_-")