The Best Pick Up Lines (To Fail)

1. "Do you have a boyfriend? I'd like to know you, so if you do have one, then first I'll be asking whether or not you're happy with him. If you are, then I'm gone. But if you aren't feeling happy, then I'd like to replace him. I'd like to try. But if you don't have a boyfriend, then I'd like to give it a shot right away. So, what say you? Am I talking too fast?"

Failure rate: thankfully only 40%.
Reason: Too many words spoil the mood.
Possible candidates to take the bait: National debaters.

2. "Hi. My phone number is missing. Can I borrow yours?"

Failure rate: 50%, the least.
Reason: You are giving her a chance to say 'No' by using the word 'Can'.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Post-SPM students.

3. "Hi. Maybe this is not the first time you hear this, but did anybody tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes?"

Failure rate: around 60%
Reason: It obviously shows that you have been 'observing' other girls as well. Duh.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Lonely widows.

4. "You can fall from a mountain. You can fall from a tree. You can fall from the sky. You can even fall into a drain. But do you know the best way to fall? It's..to fall in love with me!"

Failure rate: 70%, perhaps?
Reason: Too long. The girl might just leave you during the second 'fall'.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Degenerate poets.

5. "Hi. Don't get me wrong okay? Maybe you saw me staring at you just now, but not for the reason you think. I was looking at you because my friend said that you were so beautiful. But when I looked at you, I said, 'which part'?"

Failure rate: probably 80%
Reason: Insensitive!
Possible candidates to take the bait: Mad politicians.

6. "You look tasty. You make me feel like grabbing you..hmmm..licking you, biting you, squeezing you..."

Failure rate: positively 90%
Reason: Too honest! Pervert.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Desperate housewives.

7. "Hi. Hey, did you know that in Algebra, when numbers are added or subtracted, they are called 'terms'. When numbers are multiplied, they are called 'factors'..?"

Failure rate: almost 100%
Reason: Mathematics!
Possible candidates to take the bait: Xenophobic nerds.

p/s: Don't take this seriously. I'm not an expert.:P

38 comments:

sharpie sHa June 25, 2009 at 10:16 PM  

eek, xenophobic nerds?
irrational fear to foreigner?

kenape kene xenophobic?

jawab, jawab! :P

Wallaby the Meli June 25, 2009 at 10:19 PM  

hahaha did i clicked wrongly? i did... oh haha. sorrie! ;p its this blog i was commenting on

Igniz June 25, 2009 at 10:19 PM  

sha: generally speaking, extreme nerds normally are so weak in socializing with people..and because of that, they might have the possibilities to become xenophobic..heehee..like i said, i'm no expert, so don't take this seriously:P

Igniz June 25, 2009 at 10:20 PM  

wallaby the meli: i knew it:P

Wallaby the Meli June 25, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

well of course you do! haha... my comment was sesat somewhere!

miss faten June 25, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

ahaha. igniz. jangan try this at home. ahahaha:DD

*apalah yg sy repekkan*

P/S: am going away to sarawak! wish me luck.

sharpie sHa June 25, 2009 at 10:32 PM  

err tapi bukan ke xeno tue irrational fear/hatred (more to hatred actually) of what which is foreign - as in strangers from foreign country. Or strangers from different cultures, backgrounds, beliefs etc.

Exhibit A : sila refer kepada head honcho AC Milan.


sorry for being nitpicker. But I did a mini article for Ethics class for this topic back then :D

sharpie sHa June 25, 2009 at 10:35 PM  

btw raser social-phobia lagik better suits the term. Xeno is way too much foreign for the nerds :))

Igniz June 25, 2009 at 10:47 PM  

wally: hehe.

faten: good luck:)

sha: dear sha, i know what the 'xenophobia' term means, and i know that you're not wrong.:)

i picked 'xenophobic' not because of the meaning, but i just picked it out of extreme-comparing habit of mine. i love putting things that are too extreme as comparison. just for fun, of course. haven't u realized that by now? 'five people who will teach u how to live', 'an advice from a practicum teacher', and 'mathematics isn't that important' are examples of my habit.heehee:P

i know that since you once did an article about this, it intrigues you to give opinions. don't worry, i also have that feeling sometimes. we're all the same. thanks for the information.:P

anis June 25, 2009 at 11:29 PM  

haha. very funny :)
thou d possibility is just around 70%, - to me it's pretty good :P
haha..degenerate poets~~ ^^

Judiene June 25, 2009 at 11:57 PM  

i'm glad u post this
at least i can use it as a guidance whenever i encounter hot girls
hahaha

:)

l e n a June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM  

lol..how do you come up with this stuff? talking through experience ke? hehe funny, funny.

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 12:02 AM  

anis: 70% is the failure rate..the success rate is only 30%:)

judienne: if u really need an advice about pick up lines, then u should ask a girl..a girl is known best by another girl:)

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 12:08 AM  

lena: Three things: observing, thinking, experiencing:P

anis June 26, 2009 at 12:33 AM  

whoops sory.. sala tengok.. hehe~ :P

Azreen H Yakuza June 26, 2009 at 12:47 AM  

the first one does work...

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 1:12 AM  

anis: berhati2..:P

azreen: that's why it has the lowest failure rate:)

winsor June 26, 2009 at 5:10 AM  

I think that often it does not matter what you say, as long as one have the courage to come up and say it...

Well, as long at is is not all crazy what comes out ;)

SyAhiRah LaLAla June 26, 2009 at 5:58 AM  

hey you igniz,, who always comes up with fresh ideas. i like it very much. absolutely entertaining! and i did the mathematics,, could i say it is seventy percent true? theee heee :D
keep it up ok ;)

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 8:20 AM  

winsor: yup, courage is one of the factors too:)

syahirah: thank you..heeheehee:)

Mysterious Witch June 26, 2009 at 2:52 PM  

xenophobic nerd? haha... I didn't know nerd have any intention to tacle a girl btw... but if that's the case, it was funny.. lol..

Just_najmiE June 26, 2009 at 6:26 PM  

muahahaha~~
funny!.. thanks for the laughs!
(^^,)

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 7:34 PM  

witch: nerds are humans too:P

najmie: most welcome:)

n June 26, 2009 at 7:53 PM  

1 - 100% failure. too honest. there's no fun.

5 - 100% success. mad politicians? should say egoistic creatures :p

Igniz June 26, 2009 at 7:54 PM  

N: pulak.....:P

Ina Bendtner June 27, 2009 at 1:21 PM  

bapak aa. tah pape die merepek ngan sharpie. sumpah mati, langsung TAK paham

hehe ;D

Igniz June 27, 2009 at 5:35 PM  

ina: kami 35 tahun lebih tua dari anda..so perbualan kami mungkin terlalu berusia untuk anda paham..XD

Ina Bendtner June 27, 2009 at 11:03 PM  

35? wey asal mcm jauh sgt jek? sharpie is 13 yrs older than me while you're 10 yrs older than me. klu tmbah kan pon, baru 23 tahun. mane sesat 35?

HAH!! NOW YOU SEE MATHEMATICS IS IMPORTANT :D

Igniz June 28, 2009 at 1:23 AM  

ina: i picked the number randomly:P
i thought u were joking when u said you're 10 years younger. i thought you were a form 5 student.hehe.

anak pak man June 29, 2009 at 2:07 AM  

How much would you give for these?

1. Are you a light switch? Because you turn me ON!

2. Your pants are like mirrors, because I can see myself in them..

Igniz June 29, 2009 at 9:41 AM  

anak pak man: those two are quite cool 4 me..but i think u should ask the girls..since they are the ones who're gonna listen. unless u're planning to use those on boys.hakhak.

Oh My Photoblog! June 29, 2009 at 1:32 PM  

1.

Your father must be a terrorist because baby, you are da bomb!

Failure rate: Free slap. Tested.
Reason: Terrorism is the new IT thing. Insult.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Yet to be identified.


2.

You: Twenty-tonne penguin.

Girl: Huh?!

You: I just need to break the ice anyway.

Failure rate: Almost 100%
Reason: You might need to explain the line.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Verbal-linguistic Intelligent girls.

Oh My Photoblog! June 29, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

1.

Your father must be a terrorist because baby, you are da bomb!

Failure rate: Risk of getting a free slap.
Reason: Terrorism is the new IT thing.
Possible candidates to take the bait: An idiot.


2.

You: Twenty-tonne penguin.

Girl: Huh?!

You: I just need to break the ice anyway.

Failure rate: Almost 100%
Reason: You might need to explain the line.
Possible candidates to take the bait: Verbal-linguistic Intelligent girls.

Igniz June 29, 2009 at 1:36 PM  

oh my photoblog: the lines are so nice you say them twice..haha:)

ziqazique July 1, 2009 at 5:32 PM  

if i would be one of those ladies, i will prefer to have the 6th one.
it sounds too honest and pervert that i couldnt agree any better.
but, at least, it sounds real and honest on grounds that certain men are like that! heee.
jk! hee

Igniz July 1, 2009 at 6:51 PM  

ziqazique: wow...:P

aiMo0o July 3, 2009 at 4:26 PM  

hahaha...
adui yai...

but dont under estimate post-SPM students, they are all now very exposed and experienced.. hik3..

Lonely widows?
how do you do this research btw??
ish3!!

Igniz July 3, 2009 at 8:07 PM  

aimooo: the procedures are classified:P

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