Why He Hates His Parents

Hello, hello, hello! 'Saywell.fm', who's there?

John Smith
Hello, hi, I'm John Smith.

Yes, John! How can I help you? Is there anything you wanna share with me and our dearest listeners tonight? Please do so.

John Smith
Yes. I wanna tell you a story about my parents. And the reason why I hate them.

Owh...you, you sure you wanna talk about it... on air?

John Smith
Yes. And please just listen. Don't hang up. Please.

Okay, as you wish.

John Smith
Thank you. So here it goes...

247 years ago, Ronald Smith and Elizabeth Smith got married. They lived in a farm. A year later they gave birth to a beautiful son. They named him John Smith. They were so happy together, and that boy was even happier. Perhaps not to some people, but living in a farm with a loving family was always his dream.

Unfortunately, when the boy reached 15, he fell sick. He was dying. The father tried everything to cure him, but none worked. The mother prayed to God every night, hoping to find a cure, but her son would just get worse. They spent every penny and took him to all kinds of doctor, but all ended up in vain. After months of trying, they finally gave up.

Then one day, a stranger visited their home. He came up with a proposal. Knowing that it would cure their son, both of them agreed with one condition - "Do not ever tell our son about what happened". He agreed.

The next day, John Smith was healthier than ever. Not only did he survive the illness, he ran faster and jumped higher than anyone else. He was stronger. The family got on the horse again. They started over. This time aorund, they promised that nothing would take them apart, ever again.

But eight years later, Ronald Smith died. Elizabeth followed him the next year. Those back-to-back tragedies broke John Smith's heart. He never had a family of his own because he loved his parents so much. But he could not fight fate. "Everyone dies," he said, "but now?? And why can't I die too???" It was then, he met the stranger who saved his life.

"I did not save you back then. I only prolonged your stay here in this world. But the truth is, you died the day I came to you", the stranger said. "I bit you, remember? You're a vampire. You were no longer a human the day your parents and I made the agreement! Every day, in every single drink you had, your parents put in their own blood so you wouldn't starve. Every day they told you to work downstairs so you wouldn't burn under the sunlight. They didn't want you to have any friends so you wouldn't feel different. That's the truth! They made you a vampire!"

...... ...... ......

So... uhmm... is that the reason why you hate your parents? Because they made you... a vampire?

John Smith
No. That's not it.


John Smith
I hate them because they lived like slaves to me. I hate them because they gave their blood to feed my appetite. I hate them because they spent all of their time protecting me. I hate them because they didn't wanna have another child because of me. I hate them because they sacrificed everything for me. I hate them because they made me live long enough to see them die. I hate them because they made me feel lonely for two centuries. I hate them because they made me miss them. I hate them because they made me love them this much. I hate them because they were the best.

Awww... you just sounded like '10 Things I Hate About You'.

John Smith
Shut up.

You're a good vampire son. But...I have a question, though.

John Smith

You said the reason why your parents didn't want you to stay under the sunlight was because... they didn't want you to burn?

John Smith
Yeah. Vampires burn if exposed to sunlight.

Don't vampires just... sparkle under the sunlight?

John Smith
Do I sound like one of Stephenie Meyer's vampires to you?


little ain June 19, 2011 at 8:58 PM  

hahaha. seriously?

this is hilarious!

phyto hystrix June 19, 2011 at 8:58 PM  


Igniz June 19, 2011 at 9:02 PM  

little ain: seriously. :P

phyto hystrix: ':)' je? didn't sound like phyto hystrix to me. :P

phyto hystrix June 19, 2011 at 9:15 PM  

i agak dah. :) then how should it be for it to sound like me? u know what i'll say so, :) je la. haha!

Igniz June 19, 2011 at 9:23 PM  

phyto hystrix: hahaha. cehhh~ :P

bloodytiramisu June 19, 2011 at 9:43 PM  

wa baca dgn agak serius.
and dayum. fell into this one

Igniz June 19, 2011 at 9:48 PM  

bloodytiramisu: hahaha. tak berniat pun nak kenakan sesapa.

anak pak man June 21, 2011 at 10:45 PM  

gotta love the ending.. :D

again, your work never fails to amaze me.. missed em.. :)

nsdahlia June 21, 2011 at 10:50 PM  

didnt think that the dj will ask the last question. haha~

Igniz June 21, 2011 at 11:47 PM  

anak pak man: thanks dude. :)

nsdahlia: we'll never know. kihkih. :P

geeds June 22, 2011 at 1:18 AM  

this is insane. hahaha.

Igniz June 22, 2011 at 7:21 AM  

geeds: heh. :P

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