People On Facebook™

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it is improper to have these things on your Facebook™. I mean, who am I to ask you to stop writing whatever you have in mind? I do the same. In fact, I do it all the time. But I'm just wondering, did you ever feel like, "Ergh! Just for once, can you stop?" when you read some of your friends' (or perhaps you might want to call them 'collection' as you don't really know or talk to all of them) status updates?

I don't like putting those who are on my friends list in hide mode. I put them on the list because I wanted to know them. If not directly, then indirectly will suffice. So I can enjoy reading their updates no matter how weird or annoying they are. There's always something to learn, eh? But that's me. You might have a different point of view so you use everything that has been provided by Facebook™; the 'hide' button for instance.

But even with the fact that I purposely prepared myself to read them, there were moments when I felt like banging someone's head against the floor. When they used the same pattern too many times, again and again, you can't help but feel disturbed. Did you feel any of these, at the very least, for once?

1. If I wanted to learn philosophy, I would have taken philosophy classes!
"Life's a journey, not a destination." <-- All the time.

2. If I wanted to learn ideology, I would have taken ideology classes!
"Being single is always better! Oh, I love being single!" <-- Twice a day.

3. If I wanted to know about your feeling, I would have asked you, "How are you feeling?"!
"Ko ingat aku heran sangat ke dengan boyfriend ko tu, hah? Dia bukan hensem mana pun! Ko jer yang menggelabah tak tentu pasal. Die, bitch, die!" <-- Kejap lagi marah orang lain pulak.

4. If I wanted to know about how much money you had spent, I would have asked you, "How much money did you spend?"!
"I just bought a new bra worth RM400, a new pair of shoes worth 579.99, and most importantly, I got my dream Prada handbag worth RM1000++!" <-- Silent mode in the middle of the month.

5. If I wanted to know about your business, I would have told you to count me in!
"Dengan log in Facebook saja saya sudah memperoleh RM2000 dalam masa 2 hari. Tunggu apa lagi? PM saya sekarang!" <-- Next time ayat sama, amount je yang lain.

6. If I wanted to know about your relationship, I would have asked you, "How are things going between you and him/her?"!
"Sampai hati U tuduh I curang, B. I tak pernah buat camtu. Dalam hati I there's only U!" <-- Kenapa tak SMS or call, or post on his wall?

7. If I wanted to know about your weight, I would have asked, "How much do you weigh?"!
"Dulu berat 55kg. Pastu turun 48kg. Pastu naik 60kg. Huhu." <-- Suruh bersenam, tak nak. Pastu hari-hari complain.

8. If I wanted to know how many friend requests you get, I would have asked, "How many friend requests do you get?"!
"Just rejected 1219 friend requests. Sorry, I don't approve strangers." <-- I bet she knows every single friend who's already on the list (4344 altogether).

Like I said, it's not my place to judge anybody and tell them to stop. But as a simple human being, we're not that great to escape from saying 'Enough!". Sometimes, when you keep reading the same thing, you feel tired. And you can't blame people if they start to label you against your way. I talk nonsense all the time on Facebook™ (I really do and I love doing it), and my friends start labeling me 'nonsense'. Can I blame them?

I believe that those on your friends list give colours to your life. Because you have chosen them to be among 'you'.

p/s: And they give you stories to talk about, too. In Malay we call 'mengumpat'. Hohoho.

The Entry I Did Not Wish To Publish

Why aren't there pictures describing anything?

Writing is an art, and so is reading. You can read thousands of words anytime, anyday. You can read more words the next day. You will not fail to read them as you know what you're reading. Yes, because you know what you're reading that pictures aren't here to describe anything.

In a good piece of writing, there shall be a picture or two describing the uttered words you have in mind. In a good piece of writing, there shall be illustrations visualizing the uttered words you have in mind. In a good piece of writing, there shall not be only letters explaining the uttered words you have in mind.

Be it in an article or news, or whatever goddamned thing you have in front of your eyes.

But why aren't there pictures describing anything, here?

Because I want it that way. I always wonder if I'd be able to have anybody read my writing without any additional motivation, like visual motivation for instance. I always wonder if people would read my writing even if there isn't a single picture to help you relax your eyes and mind.

So that's why there are no pictures describing anything. But at times, I do need to feed myself with some colours. So I put specifically some visually-enhanced entries under one certain genre. But most of the times, I prefer to challenge myself and ignore those colours. I did not wish to tell anybody about this for it would defeat the purpose. I did not wish to publish this entry for it would undo the challenge I put against myself.

But here again, I gain another challenge. Will I submit to the fact that by doing so my writing will be as dull as...a dull writing - I haven't got any good comparison for that, or will I not? It's really hard to attract readers nowadays, you know? Especially when your writing isn't about sex and scandals.

Aliens And Football

After failing in their attempts to conquer planet Earth two times in a row (please refer to here and here), the aliens finally realized that they must not rush. They should wait and be prepared for a lot of things. The humans are so unpredictable and every data they have on them cannot be trusted. So the aliens stayed low for a while and practiced.

Long have they searched for a loophole and long have they tried to win, yet victory hasn't been very good at knocking on their door. But they have found another way to strike. They have found... football.

What you're about to hear is the direct translation of their conversations, recorded during practice. On 15th January 2011, at 3.33 p.m., somewhere around Earth, they had this:

Alien Five:
"You gotta know four basic things! Pass, hold, shoot! Pass, hold, shoot!"

Alien Two:
"But that's only three, boss."

Alien Five:
"The fourth is shut-the-hell-up-and-just-do-what-I-said! Now you do these things and keep doing it until... wait, where's Number One?"

Alien One:
"Here! I'm here! Wait up!" (rushing towards the group in a 'suit')

Alien Three:
"What the hell are you wearing?"

Alien One:
"Oh, this is American Football suit. I bought it yesterday as soon as I heard we were gonna start practicing football."

Alien Five:
"I said 'football', not American f**king Football!"

Alien One:
"It's not the same?"

Alien Five:
"No. Football uses the foot, left or right, to play with the ball. American Football does not."

Alien One:
But I checked and double-checked it! They were all calling this 'football'! The one you were talking about, that foot thingie, it's called 'soccer'!"

Alien Four:
"Oh, I get it. He went to the United States Of America."

Alien Five:
"The United Sta...why, why on Earth did you go to the United States Of America?"

Alien One:
"Aren't we going to strike from that country?"

Alien Five:
"Who said that?"

Alien One:
"The movies! 'Independence Day', 'Signs', 'Skyline', 'Transformers', 'Cloverfield', 'The Day The Earth Stood Still', 'Race To Witch Mountain', 'War Of The Worlds' and...what else? Well, all those alien-related movies showed that aliens like us would start with the United States first! Right?"

Alien Two:
"No they did not! What about 'Koi...Mil Gaya' and 'Senario XX'?"

Alien Five:
"Okay, cut it! I don't care how you got this stupid invade-U.S.A-first idea, and we're not gonna strike that country anyway, but take away this clown suit! Get it off my face! It's not football! It even hardly uses the foot!"

Alien One:
"Then why call it American 'football' if it hardly uses the foot? Ceh!" (removing the suit)

Alien Three:
"So boss, if we're not gonna attack the United States, which country do you have in mind?"

Alien Five:
"The small ones. Like Nepal, Singapore, and Malaysia. Something like that."

Alien Three:
"But boss, the reason why we're practicing this sports is because...we want to blend in with them, right? Because this is the number one sports on their planet. We practice, become good at it, and then join their football team. Blend in. In disguise. But then, why do you want to invade those small countries? They are not even dominant in football games. Why not England, Brasil, Argentina and Spain?"

Alien Five:
"Do you really think we stand a chance to join their first team if we strike England, Brasil, Argentina, and Spain? Football is a human sports. It's not meant for aliens like us! We can never play as good as them! That's why I choose those small countries. They are weaker footballers, so we might be able to outperform them. See? I'm a genius!"

Alien Four:
"You're a genius, boss."

Alien Five:
"That's what I just said."

Alien Three:
"But boss, if Lionel Messi can do it, so can we!"

Alien Five:
"Who's Lionel Messi?"

Alien Three:
"He's like us. They said he's from another planet."

Alien Five:
"Hmm..." (thinking)

Alien Two:
"Boss, you haven't told us about the fourth move. Pass, hold, shoot and what else?"

Alien Four:
"I don't think he really knows what he's teaching..." (whispering to Alien Two)

Alien Five:
"Shut up!"

Alien One:
"Umm...someone...can someone help me? I can't take this helmet off!"

To be continued...

Comic Adaptations (Part 2)

I guess life gets better naturally, alright? It can never get worse on its own, unless you yourself do some things that perhaps don't belong, and they eventually lead to the demise of your own fortune. Or something like that. But there's no such a person who purposely makes his or her life that bad. In fact, we all struggle to improve ourselves to the utmost possibilities, greatest possibilities that lie ahead, and should we fail...well, life will still get better someday in the end. Because it has to. It won't get worse just like that.

On my part of living a life as a writer, it does get better. It moves slowly, but it's getting there. I got some ideas running in my brain, I know how to start working on them, and it's just a matter of time before I start visualizing them into reality. But I want to take my time. For the moment, allow me to cherish what I have in hands.

On Friday, November 12 2010, I wrote a short story about how fragile a child's love towards his mother is if compared to vice versa. It's titled 'When It Breaks More Than It Should'. Turned out that my collaborator Fakhrul Anour loved it and wanted to make it a short 6-page comic strip. I guess it's my luck.

You can 'listen' to his points of view about the story here.

And like I've always said, I write whatever I have in mind. Sometimes it could be total nonsense, sometimes it could mean something. I write to feed my passion, and however weird my writings end up to be, I thank you for reading them.

p/s: You might wanna check Comic Adaptations

A Story Of A Nasyen

So this story took place exactly 612 years ago. On 1399, about a year or two before Parameswara leaned his back against the Melaka (some sort of Indian gooseberry - so they said) tree and founded Melaka (internationally known as Malacca), someone unknown had reached that very same land beforehand and 'planted' something. It was an idea. And if any of you thinks this is pretty much like the movie 'Inception' by Christopher Nolan, you are not wrong.

So this guy was called Nasyen. He came with three of his most trustworthy advisors and each advisor controls several hundreds of independent warriors. Even though I said this Nasyen guy was unknown, he was actually quite famous throughout the continent. It was just that modern people like us never heard a thing about this guy that made me label him 'unknown'. And though the advisors' warriors were called independent, they were most likely available only with the presence of imperial seals that belong to Nasyen himself and the Three Advisors. That did not make them entirely independent, did it?

On the day he set his foot on Melaka's soil (at that time it had not been named Melaka - just a new land), Nasyen promised his men that in 12 months (or more), there would be some powerful people coming to the same land. Those powerful men led by a wise young leader would soon create a small kingdom renowned to the whole seas. Then that small kingdom would later develop into a nation. "And that nation will give you everything", he told his people. Little did they know that Nasyen was under the influence of a highly sedative herb (for his infected throat) at that time, he was high and pretty much delusional, hence the speech. But the Three Advisors and their warriors did not take that lightly.

Hoping to achieve a new life, a better one, those Three Advisors vowed, come hell or high water, they would make Nasyen's words a reality. They scattered their warriors to all lands with one mission, "Make someone worthy come to this land". With secrecies in so many events, like a shadow those warriors pulled strings together, one after another, and set everything up; the biggest one would be Paduka Sri Maharaja Parameswara's flight from Temasek (now famously known as Singapore) towards the northern side of the land. In fact, the very same warriors held responsible for igniting Majapahit's invasion in order to ensure that young prince would soon reach the destined land.

And there, the Three Advisors 'borrowed' Nasyen's priced white mouse deer to play its part. Famous for its sly attitude, the mouse deer was placed close to Parameswara's resting place. Soon, the young prince's dog (most probably a Chihuahua) saw the running deer. Not knowing there was some chicken-tasting sauce spilled over the mouse deer's body, the dog chased it. It was then the dog was outwitted and kicked by the mouse deer, and Parameswara witnessed this strange event. He was then inspired to found a kingdom.

Wait...wait a minute. You never heard of this story? Seriously?

Okay, you may say that this story was made up. You may say that I was telling a lie. You may even believe this story really did take place, if you want to. Everybody can claim they know the real history behind the foundation of our land and people. They can say that this is from here and that is from there. You can say anything. But for the love of God, we are all here, are we not?

The invasion of Majapahit, the foundation of Melaka, the rise of Tanah Melayu, Malaya, and eventually Malaysia, everything is a series of events. Maybe it happened by fate, maybe by coincidence, maybe by a lie. But again, we are here, are we not? And that is what matters.

We are stuck together here in one land. So let's just stick together. We have an idea of our own now. We have our Nasyen, we have our Three Advisors, and most of all, our independent warriors. Let's just stick with that for the moment.

You don't understand what I'm talking about? Too bad.