Let Us All Become Racist

I'm tired of hearing things about racism. I'm bored with being one of those people who got stuck in the middle of a war of words between one race and another. I am fed up. So just to make things a lot easier to comprehend and stop this 'I'm not racist but you are' nonsense, I decided to have these ideas of mine written and published. Let us all become racist.

Haven't you realized the exact reason why racist statements and acts become so sensitive in our country? It is because only a small amount of us can be considered racist while the rest is neutral. So when somebody mentions about the spirit of 'me' instead of 'us', everyone gets excited. But. Imagine if every single one of us is being racist, will racism be a problem? Ah Beng says, "I hate Malays!" and Samad replies, "Yeah, I know that. We know we hate each other, so what's the big deal?". Nobody is going to make a fuss when it's only normal for one to become racist, yeah? So again, I think we should all become racist. We should all hate each other.

However, in order to make this plan work and become a REAL racist, you need to do these following things:-

1. Do not EVER eat food that is not made by your own kind. If you're a Malay, do not consume 'roti canai', 'kuey teow' or spaghetti. Vice versa.

2. Do not EVER go to any sort of places that portrays the life of other races (including the sound of them!). If you're a Malay, do not go to Masjid India, Chinatown or Low Yat. Don't even travel to other countries! Vice versa.

3. Do not EVER idolize anybody who hasn't got the same skin. If you're a Malay, do not make Jackie Chan, Johnny Depp or even J.J Fernandez (the Hitz.fm radio announcer) as one of your idols. Vice versa.

4. Do not EVER watch any movie that includes people who don't speak your language in one way or the other. If you're a Malay, do not watch....anything. Vice versa. Maybe.

5. Do not EVER flirt with any hot girl you meet or see if she is not from the same race. If you're a Malay, do not fall in love with Marion Caunter, Aishwarya Rai or Kate Beckinsale. Vice versa.

6. Do not EVER learn about other languages. Do not expose yourself to a second language like Mandarin, Japanese or English. Do not speak, read or get involved with them no matter what. (You do realize that this is written in English, yes?) Vice versa.

And so many more don'ts...

So, think you can do all these things? Of course you can if you truly are racist, right? But if you find it hard to do all of the above, instead of humiliating yourself by being a poser, I suggest you do number seven.

7. Don't EVER become racist. Don't even try, at all.

p/s: Still, I know everyone is being racist in a very little way. But don't fight it. Just make sure that amount stays and never grows up. Chinese girls are hot and Indian boys are great sprinters.