Money Honey

Badol:
Hey you...

Tijah:
Yes?

Badol:
I'm not rich. I don't have money. I cannot buy you stuff. I cannot always treat you to lunch and dinner. Is that okay?

Tijah:
Not a problem.

Badol:
And I cannot buy you a cool birthday present or throw you a surprise birthday party.

Tijah:
Don't worry about that.

Badol:
And even if I had money, I wouldn't buy you anything more expensive than the ones I bought for my mom. For my mom's birthday last month, I only managed to buy her a cake which cost me about RM29.90. And a pack of strawberry tissues worth RM4.90.

Tijah:
You should be proud of yourself.

Badol:
I'm so broke right now. I can't even have my glasses fixed. See? I'm not wearing them because they are sort of... damaged. I kind of accidentally sat on them yesterday.

Tijah:
Don't worry. When you have the money, go have them fixed first, okay? Your glasses are more important. You're driving, right? It's very dangerous.

Badol:
But I wanna be a cool boyfriend who gives his girlfriend everything she wants. I wanna be the one who wipes your tears using RM100 notes. I wanna do my best.

Tijah:
That's so sweet... but don't force yourself, okay? You don't have to do that.

Badol:
Why... are you so understanding? God! I'm so lucky to have you! (holding her hands excitedly)

Tijah:
Eh... wait! Wait! What are you doing?! (pulling away)

Jijah:
Hey, Badol! What are you doing?!

Badol:
Eh...?! (confused)

Jijah:
I can't believe this! You are cheating on me! How dare you!

Badol:
Jijah...?! You're Jijah?! Then who is this girl?!

Tijah:
Hello, I'm Tijah.

Badol:
Ti... Tijah?

Jijah:
What now?! Pretending not to know her?! Damn it, Badol! Dah la miskin, main kayu tiga pulak tu! Jantan tak sedar diri! Ptuihhhh! (leaving the scene angrily)

Badol:
Oh my God! Wait, Jijah, wait! I'm not wearing my glasses! That's why I didn't see that she's not you! Wait! (trying to stop her)

Jijah:
Get lost! I should've known it! You are a worthless piece of crap! And you're so poor! Just leave me alone! I don't need a guy like you! I deserve better!

Badol:
No... please. Jijah, please! Please! Please! Please understand! Please! I love you! (holding her hands tightly and begging on his knees)

Janitor:
Akak dah kawin, dik.

Badol:
Huh?

Tijah:
Dude... that's... the janitor. Your girlfriend has left already. That way. (pointing at the girl who is about... 100 metres away)

Badol:
Owh. So... sorry. Salah orang.

Tijah:
Dude, I gotta go. Nice meeting you.

Badol:
Wait! Wait! Can I meet you again, later? Someday?

Tijah:
Why? What for?

Badol:
I wanna know you. Because you're... cool. You don't care about money and stuff.

Tijah:
Says who?

Badol:
You said it yourself just now... that it's not a problem that I don't have money and cannot buy you stuff. That I shouldn't worry about it.

Tijah:
Oh, you got me wrong. I said "It's not a problem" because you're not my boyfriend. If you were my boyfriend, that would be a BIG problem. Plus, I already have a boyfriend and he's insanely rich. He's so rich that when he farts, it smells money... and a bit of curry. Anyway, goodbye and good luck!

Badol:
Ceh.