Hate This & I'll Love You

"Whoa! You just stole my meal! Now I'm going to make you pay for it!"
"No, I'm not gonna! I'm not gonna!"
"Well, I knew you were going to say that. So I already paid it using your card."
"Aww...wait, no! Wow, that was harsh!"
"You well deserved it! Ha! Ha!"

The first time she did it, it was adorable. The second time she did it, it was cute. The third time she did it, I smiled. The fourth, fifth and probably sixth, or was it seventh? Well, I still didn't mind. She was lovely, my own sun that shone on me, warm and welcoming, and my life was at its best! She completed me.

"You know, instead of making you pay for meals using your very own card, oh sorry! Cardsss.."
"I get your point."
"...I think I should use them on something else. Maybe some shoes? Bags? Huh?"
"You know, when you speak that way with that smile and gesture, you really look like a witch with breast cancer."
"Breast cancer has got nothing to do with the way I smile!"
"Well, I did mention 'gesture'..."

There was one moment of hesitation in my years with her, when she asked me to take her home after work and I refused due to a possible super heavy traffic in her area. She didn't say anything. An hour later she called me, crying, saying, "Next time you picked me up whenever I asked you to! I almost killed a man!"

"What happened?!!"
"He tried to snatch and grab me."
"He tried to snatch and grab me! What are you? Deaf?"
"I thought you said... you almost killed a man...?"
"Well he tried and failed! It was raining, he slipped right before he reached me. So I hit him instead, before he could get me."
"Well, are you sure he had that intention to... snatch and grab...you?"
"That's what I meant by "I almost killed a man!". I was scared! You didn't want to pick me up! So I panicked every time I saw a man! What do you expect?"

On my 25th birthday, she bought me a cake. There was a face on it, 'me with a baby smile' she said. She bought me no present because, she told me, "A babbbbyyy doesshhhhnnn't know anythiiiiingggg about a presheeennntt!", while pinching on my both cheeks.

"I hate this song."
"What song?"
"'Hate This & I'll Love You'"
"Then don't listen to it."
"But I want to listen to it!"
"Then listen to it."
"But I hate the feeling this song represents!"
"Is it possible that if you hate this song, you'll love the feeling it represents?"
"It could be."
"Then do it."

She never did. She kept listening to the song and got very grouchy afterwards. It would be me, only me, who was able to put those witch-like smiles back on her face. It was supposed to be that way.

But it wasn't. Because I never let her keep my cards. I never said anything about the way she smiled. I never thought about taking her home from work, ever. I never picked up the phone when she called. I never wanted the cake because I threw it away. I never listened to her complaints about the song. I never cared. And for all the possibilities that could have happened if I was different, I wish now I could have cared.

This story has got nothing to do with anybody. It's 100% fictional.


phyto hystrix April 29, 2011 at 3:25 PM  


People come and go,some leave with a permanent mark on your heart. If you think you need those people in your life,make them believe that they matter. It's never too late. Some things, you can't amend. But there are some other that you can. If you can't, then thank Allah He sent you wonderful persons who wrote a part of your life. At the very least you got the chance to have them in your life, others didn't get to know them even but you did. They once were the reasons for you to smile.

Igniz April 29, 2011 at 6:16 PM  

phyto hystrix: thanks. but you do realize that this story is 100% fictional, don't you? because it's kinda weird when you comment using a lot of 'you's here. heheh.

phyto hystrix April 29, 2011 at 6:58 PM  

Eh! 'You' here doesn't refer to you..haha! It's in general because what you wrote here is what happens in life, basically. You're not 25 yet,of course it's a fiction! Haha sorry for that anyway, :)

Igniz April 29, 2011 at 7:23 PM  

phyto hystrix: hahaha. tu la pasal. i pun cam rasa semamcam tadi bila u guna u. meremang bulu roma. :P

Sofia Vy April 29, 2011 at 7:33 PM  

sejak bila you become like an awwwwww :') person ni igniz? hahaha :D

phyto hystrix April 29, 2011 at 8:39 PM  

Erk,lawak la u ni! I pun dah cuak td,uh! ;p

Igniz April 29, 2011 at 9:34 PM  

sofia: hahaha. saja2 try tukar mood. :P

phyto hystrix: hahaha. :P

iaRediL May 8, 2011 at 2:03 AM  

great blog! i've only managed to read about 5 of your entries, but i'll make sure to come back and read more. exam's on the way. urgh.
and your other sites are very cool as well. bookmarked, followed and listed under cool things to do this semester break!

Igniz May 8, 2011 at 7:57 PM  

iaredil: thanks! appreciate it very much. :)

EMi June 18, 2011 at 1:22 PM  

I owe u a comment after so many weeks...

Even though u said its fictional, but the way tell it like something personal ? Is it? Heheh...

The girl at first seems so pisau cukur - annoying little thing... But towards the middle of the story its just the way she is and how the guy doesn't mind..

Then... a twist at the end portraying the real situation which shows the guy's real feeling and how he is taking things for granted. I like it that way.. :) Coz it shows reality! Poor him to feel regret though.
You're such an awesome writer like Hank Moody!

Igniz June 19, 2011 at 6:57 PM  

Emi: hahaha. thanks for dropping by. nope, it's not personal. but i have to admit that i put in some personal feelings in order to feel this one. but all of the situations involved are fictional. heheh.:D

thank you once again for reading. :)

khansyaa' al khairiyah mohd ujang June 26, 2011 at 10:51 AM  

well, gotta admit that i'm really really into your writing. keep on writing yeah ^^ will look 4wd for yours :)

Igniz June 26, 2011 at 2:19 PM  

khansyaa: thank you :)

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