Job Vacancies In (Modern) Malaysia

Honestly, I'm not much known as a newspaper reader. I have a habit of buying a newspaper and not reading it. Even if I do feel like reading it, it will only be the sports section. However, luckily I'm the only one who's having that kind of habits around (I'm referring to my workplace). My colleagues read newspapers (yes, more than one newspaper a day) everyday. They talk and discuss about whatever hot issue found in the news sections over lunch. Because of that, I'm accidentally aware of what's happening to our beloved country at the moment.

Based on what I've recently heard and 'read', I can say that Malaysia has become a place of various job opportunities. It's like everyday there'll be news telling us about a new job, and it's very popular, too. Here I share with you five popular jobs available for the residents.

1. Hater

Job Scope: to invent a page and provide suggestions on how to hate a person through social networking.
Requirements: candidate must be the not-so-clever type of person, possess adequate communication and persuasive skills.

2. Twisted Idealist

Job Scope: to spread ideas and act like an expert in the so-called said ideology.
Requirements: candidate must possess a sudden urge to give own theories on hot topics, able to understand news and situations based on headlines without needing to study them in depth. Fresh graduates are encouraged to apply.

3. Igniter

Job Scope: to create a storm in a teacup, or in easy words, to wreak havoc over small issues.
Requirements: candidate must be emotional, possess the act-first-think-later attitude, multilingual and able to speak more than required.

4. Racist

Job Scope: to blame everything on skin and religious background, to ignore discussions and investigations.
Requirements: candidate must be selfish, stupid and emotional. At least one year(s) of working experience in the related field is required for this position.

5. Arsonist

Job Scope: to put everything on fire.
Requirements: candidate must be extremely stupid and possess own transportation. No experience is required as training will be provided.

Yes, these are the 'job opportunities' that I found on the news. Ironically speaking, the one place that we once believed was the safest land is now no different from other warring countries. We are no different from them. And perhaps one day we would be just like them. I've started to think that Zimbabwe might be a lot safer than our country at the moment.

And who's going to change that? You, me, us.

DEAR SOMEWHERE YOU

I don’t know where you are
no, that would be a lie
oh, I’m sure I’m sure you’re there
here or anywhere
I’m not close to you
but you’re so dear to me
and that wouldn’t be fair

It’s not anymore the same since I talked to you
no, that would be a lie
‘cause I never talked to you
though I’ve always wanted to
I’m never there for you
but you’re always here with me
though it has been a while since you last dropped by

It makes me feel good to know you
no, that would be a lie
you don’t even know me
syntactically or semantically or personally
I can’t make you happy when you’re already laughing
but I can make you sad when you’re already crying
never in my life would I want to do that

Do you know how sick I am when I see you?
No, that would be a lie
I’ve never been able to see you
or meet you or hear from you
my mind is spelling your name with very big letters
sometimes they’re this big and sometimes they’re that big
but dear somewhere you would never know

Murdered In 90 Seconds

We claim that our lives solely depend on what we decide and do everyday. Yet, we do not and will never know when and how our lives will end. It's true that no matter how hard we try to figure it out, there's no way we can tell the exact date and condition of our death. When the day comes to put an end to our so-called 'lives', that's it. No warnings, no clues at all.

The following incident is based on a true story. It happens in just about 90 seconds.

The first 30 seconds...

The boy is sitting in front of his computer table. Then suddenly he looks at his surroundings. The room is hot, so he opens the door and breathes in the cooler air. He closes his eyes for a second and listens to the sounds made by the cats, the people and the lizards.

The next 30 seconds...

He checks out the letter on the book shelf; it's the internet bill. He doesn't care and sits again at the computer table. He clicks on the movie folder, trying to decide on which movie to watch. He keeps looking and looking. Then he hears a sound. A horrible yet familiar sound that he knows so certainly.

The last 30 seconds...

He goes out of the room and sees his noisy nephew entering the house shouting and singing only-God-knows songs! The sense of privacy immediately slips away from his mind. He doesn't want to wait. He quickly pulls back into his room and shuts the door with all the might he possesses. Splash! And a small lizard bloodily flattened within the space between the door and the connected wall. There goes the life of a lizard, just like that.

On average, one lizard dies in every month, amazingly in the very same way.