This Is Me Being Awkward

At the age of six, I could wink an eye
I chose a girl, or maybe two, or maybe more
To see who'd respond, I winked the eye
One got caught and she wanted to like me
But on the first day of primary school I fell in the mud
She saw me crying, and I just don't know what the hell happened
She was gone afterward and never be heard of

At the age of eleven, I thought I was ready
My friends and I made a deal
"Let's write a letter to any girl you know and see what happens"
I did and he wrote one too
But he failed while I succeeded
That girl responded well and accepted my love
Together for two years, and so we separated

At the age of fourteen, I knew a girl of my ex-class
She told a friend that she liked me, I told that friend I liked her too
Didn't know what to do and we ended up together
We were too shy so didn't speak much
The only words of hers I remember, "You've gone taller"
Just had my first wet dream on those days, yeah I was taller
Too bad we were too shy so we broke up

At the of age sixteen, I fell in love again
This time was real, I felt like a grown-up
We liked each other but she wanted to wait
SPM was getting closer so I said I'd wait
Then she knew a man and I was just a boy
But that man was great she was taken care of well
Better without me, so I left a changed man

At the age of eighteen, I got involved again
As a changed man I didn't want to wait
After just two weeks we tied the knot
After just three months we hit the wall
Told her I should leave for a better reason
She heard it like "for a better person"
She moved on fast, but I caught up later, just not with her

At the age of twenty-one, I met an angel
The best of I had had, and even older
She was close with her mom, and my mom too
Off to Cameron Highland, my mom'd ask for her more than she'd for me
But life ain't that free, things worked differently
She gave me coffee, I didn't have the coffee-mate
I had the shoes, she hadn't the shoelace, and the end of story

This is not a poem.

p/s: Okay, like usual, I never feel good writing about my love life. But when I do, that means I was inspired not too long before. Do check this and this out if you want to find out more!

I Have A Mind That Never Stops Thinking

My mind is like someone else and not attached as a part of me. I can't control it. It speaks for itself. It thinks and stops whenever it wants, and doesn't really care about what I want to say. It does things by its own rules and sometimes it troubles me. But thank God, it never betrays me.

When I'm working, it can suddenly think of something else and make me stray away from what I'm supposed to do. When I don't want to work, it gives ideas and makes me want to stay and keep doing what I'm supposed to do. When I'm watching a movie, it reminds me of another movie. It jolts my brain into thinking and imagining things while my eyes are still on the screen. When I'm reading or listening, it pulls me into a world where reality doesn't exist and the ending of it is determined by however I want it to be.

When I see a very tall building, my mind speaks, "If you were falling from the top of that building, you could actually finish singing a song before you hit the ground."

When I see an intelligent-looking person, my mind says, "Light is faster than sound. So sometimes people look intelligent until you hear them speak."

When somebody is giving me an advice, my mind whispers, "Hey, look at that cat lying on the floor. I think it just farted!"

When a friend of mine is sharing a problem and wants me to listen, my mind suggests, "Tell him that you're a superhero and can solve everything!"

When I sit silently on the train every morning, my mind asks, "Look at those people. Can you think of something to write about later on?"

When my eyes want to sleep during the night, my mind wakes me up and thinks, "Your life would be fun if you speak like this, do like that and blah blah blah."

When my mom needs my help doing the house chores, my mind persuades, "Every mom wants the best for her children, therefore if you say you're busy doing your work, she will not complain. Heheh. "

And when I feel like taking drugs, smoking or drinking, my mind threatens, "You do that, and you're going to lose me."

I love my mind. However good or bad my mind is, it leads me to where I belong. To where I am now. So that's why I made a promise that no matter what happens, I will never do something that makes me lose my mind. So should you.

Seven Things You Don't Expect To Happen In The Morning

They say morning is the door that leads to so many great things in your days. When you wake up early in the morning, something good is ready to happen and you're so lucky not to miss it because you're awake! But I wonder how your day is going to be if you morning starts with...

1. Getting hit in the head by a mysterious cupboard from the sky.

Instead of getting amazed by the bluest sky you're staring at during your earliest hour, you get knocked down by a big brownish thing you thought was a bird or something. Well, maybe it really was a bird, not a cupboard. Cupboards don't fly, do they? Maybe it was just a huge square-shaped bird which happened to fly vertically, towards you. Anything is possible nowadays.

2. Throwing away your favourite pet's dead body.

Oh no! Oh shit! Oh my God! Well, those could be some of the words you might pronounce clearly when that happens. They could be. Seeing your cat or dog or iguana or cockroach (for God's sake) dies right in front of your sleepy and blurry eyes won't be that encouraging, eh? What to do, death knocks whenever 'he' wants.

3. Eating the spiciest curry in the world, accidentally.

I say it hurts. Your stomach hurts, your eyes tear, your heart burns, your patience's gone and your toilet's a hero. And the best part of all, your plan's cancelled! If you can still make it after all those shits you have gone through (literally), damn you deserve a medal. I don't think normal people can hang around happily with a diaper stuck around their asses. But you could prove me wrong.

4. Having breakfast with Mahatma Gandhi, Alexander Graham Bell and Albert Einstein.

I'm sure this is going to be awkward. I mean, three of the greatest guys in the history of mankind are sitting at your table eating omelets with you! One talks about how to make the world a better place, another asks questions about Nokia, Sony Ericsson and Motorola because he never heard of them, and the last one calculates the angles of your weird looking face and tries to come up with a solution. Nice.

5. Being stared by the ghost from yesterday, literally.

Last night you were alone and feeling scared, and turned out the ghost you saw in the movie was real and kept staring at you from one corner of your bed. You were so frightened until you fell asleep. Today early in the morning you wake up and smile, thinking that it was just a nightmare. Only to realize that the ghost is still there, staring at you and then 'she' says, "I'm no vampire. I'm not afraid of the sun". Who could expect that?

6. Getting a hard slap right in your face, mistakenly.

You're stretching outside and trying to inhale the cool air of the morning. But all of a sudden an angry neighbour walks towards you and give your face a powerful slap. "You were the one who scratched my car! You f*****g piece of shit!" he screams. Then his daughter comes to stop him, saying, "No dad! Not him! The other neighbour!" Both of them apologize and leave you there dumbfounded. What a way to start a day.

7. Being flooded by the rain of money, literally.

You are still sleeping but your ears hear a sound on the roof. Your first thought was, "It's the rain". But it becomes weirder. You can't stand it and go out to see what's happening. It's raining cash outside! There are some $10 notes falling from the sky, $50 a little bit more and $100, occasionally. Once in every 30 minutes, a $1000 note hits your face. The phenomenon lasts until 10.30 a.m.