youCANNOTREADthis

Award Winning Teachers

2012-01-17T16:27:00.005+08:00

Principal:
Assalamualaikum and good morning. Thank you for being here today. Okay, I won't take much longer and without further ado I will just go into the issue for today's meeting. There's only one issue, anyway, which is regarding the SPM Straight As workshop that we'll be having later this month. How many students do we plan on having, Teacher Dabest?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
180 students, sir.

Principal:
180? Okay, sounds manageable. Have you decided on which students you are planning to bring in to the workshop or are you planning to make it open for everyone and let students decide whether to join?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
I have decided to bring in students from the first three classes from Form Four and Five respectively, sir.

Other Teachers:
Owh...

Teacher Nobadey:
Wait, the first three classes? Only the first three classes? Why don't we make it open for everyone?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
Because we all know that students from the first three classes will really use this chance to improve themselves. They are excellent students, motivated and more reliable.

Teacher Nobadey:
Yes, I agree with that, but what about students from other classes?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
There won't be any students from other classes. They will not be interested to join.

Teacher Nobadey:
What if there ARE students from other classes who want to join and improve themselves?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
Well, even if they are interested, the chances for them to score As are not as good as those students from the top classes.

Teacher Nobadey:
Oh, so you're saying that if they are not capable of scoring an A in the exam, they are not allowed to join a workshop and improve their grades? If that's what you mean, then these students WILL NEVER score an A, ever.

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
Look, let me tell you something. Students from the first three classes are capable to handle all the pressure around them. They can handle mountains of homework, workshops and extra classes. They can handle being scolded by teachers for not being able to finish their homework on time. They don't skip classes!

Teacher Nobadey:
And that is why we need to give this chance to other students who are not from the top classes as well. Because they weren't really involved in the classroom, so maybe here they will get involved or at least learn from the top students.

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
You are not getting the point. The probability for top students to learn something and improve from this workshop is way higher than those from other classes. So it is better for us to bet on them.

Teacher Nobadey:
And ignore the others?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
Look, you're new here. You are a new teacher. While I am an award-winning teacher. I have been here for years. I am the best. I have produced straight-A students more than any other teachers here. I have given thousands of exercises, extra classes, and homework to thousands of students. I have always taught the top students and I know what they are capable of. I have used methods that no other teachers are willing to do. I think I know if I am making a bad decision, but I am not sure about you.

Principal:
Err... calm down. Let's have a cup of tea, everyone.

Teacher Nobadey:
Have you taught students from weaker classes?

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
Excuse me?

Teacher Nobadey:
The reason why all those styles of yours worked on those students is because you taught good students. Like you said, they are motivated. They really care about their performance and they fight for better grades. So no matter how difficult or ridiculous your methods are, they will just deal with them. Because they don't want anything to happen and prevent them from getting the best marks and grades possible.

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
What are you trying to say?

Teacher Nobadey:
Unlike these teachers around you, they have to deal with weaker students. Students who are not motivated. Students who don't care about their marks and grades. Students who are ready to skip a class the moment it gets boring or too difficult. Because of that, these so called not-the-best teachers have to use different methods. Because they have to start from the very beginning - which is to motivate these students. To make them want to learn. To keep them interested. Your job is half done because you get good students, which I'm not saying it's easy - you might face difficulties as well, but these teachers... they have more to deal with.

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
......

Teacher Nobadey:
So what I'm trying to say is, just because your students always score a lot of As all the time, it does not mean you're the best teacher. What about those teachers who care more about their students than their results? What about those teachers who stay up late at night because their students call and cry because of family problems? What about those teachers who don't give mountains of homework and extra classes because they know that their students can't keep up? I believe that when a weak student wants to remain in the class when the teacher is around - that teacher has done a good job. When a weak student wants to remain in the class even when the teacher is NOT around - that teacher has done a great job. Scoring 20 As is not the only way for you to measure a teacher's success. Keeping them away from wasting time doing meaningless stuff, making them stay in class and learn step by step, and giving them hope and belief when they don't score - these count too. And trust me, while you are busy counting the amount of exercises you have yet to give to your students, these teachers bang their head against the wall trying to come up with activities just to make sure their less motivated students learn something.

Excellent Teacher Dabest:
........

Teacher Nobadey:
So when you say you know what your top students are capable of, we know what our weak students are capable of, too. And they deserve every chance you believe your top students deserve. So with all due respect, make it open for everyone.

Principal:
Hoyeahhhhhhh!!!

Black's Dream

2012-01-01T10:52:00.012+08:00

Happy 2012, everyone.

It Is In The Morning Your Memories Play Their Best Trick

2011-12-02T15:36:00.005+08:00

Librarian:
That is him. Is he the one?

Woman:
Yes, he's my brother.

Librarian:
He spends most of his time in this section, reading all the poems he can find.

Woman:
He loves poetry.

***************************************************************************

"Stop it, I'm driving."

"So what? It's not that I'm interrupting you or your vision."

"Yes, but I need to concentrate. We're already late. And I don't even know the way. I need to focus on the signboards."

"But I'm bored. I need to read something, so I read your poems. I love reading your poems."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. But can you read it silently?"

"Don't want! Now listen to this..."

And this is a story about a boy with a vision
With a dream and another dream
As he stares blankly at the walls
His heart beats endlessly
He thinks of everyone
Who has succeeded and who has not
He looks at the images portrayed from the back of his mind
And they speak a language he doesn't understand
He tries and tries to say it "Why can't everything be so easy?"

"Why can't everything be so easy? For instance, driving at the moment. Please, I can't focus when I have to look at the signboards and listen to your reading at the same time."

"What does this part mean, darling?"

"Not now... not now. Oh... God, great. Now it's raining cats and dogs."

"Wow... how romantic! Reading poems to you with the rain as soundtrack!"

"You got one twisted sense of romance, sweetheart."

"Come on, come on! Let's continue!"

The lost memories barge in every day
When the sun goes up, when his eyes open
The ongoing mission doesn't seem to want to end
The dark days don't seem to want to go
When he sees her he sees everything
When she goes away the dimmest light seems blinding

"Are you talking about his dream or his love for the girl? Is the girl me? Wait, the boy is you!"

"What makes you think so? I created him as anybody."

"No, no, this boy has to be you. So that I can be the girl! Listen to this!"

She loves to smile a thousand times
She dreams of him the boy with a vision
With a dream and another dream
He loves to stay late and listen
To the pursuit of happiness she loves to imagine
Then the green hearts sing together
The song of rhythmic poetries
Dum da ba da, dum da ba da

"Aww... so sweet! Let's read the last stanza together!"

"Shush! I need to take this U-turn!"

*****************************************************************

Dum da ba da, he will be the academia
Dum da ba da, or maybe the best person in Asia
Dum da ba da, or he could be the president of Russia
Dum da ba da, dum da ba da
Soulless iron skin meets warm rosy heart
So he sings a song like his love is an art
Dum da ba da, dum da ba da

Poet:
I still can't find a suitable title for this poem.

Woman:
You will get it sooner or later. Let's go home.

Poet:
Should I name it "Dum Da Ba Da"?

Woman:
That's a beautiful name. She would have loved it.

Poet:
No! She would have not! She had always loved direct words. God, I should've listened to her. I shouldn't have rushed, shouldn't have taken that damned U-turn.

Woman:
How often do you miss her?

Poet:
Every second.

Woman:
When do you miss her most?

Poet:
In the morning, every day.

Woman:
There you have it, your title.

We Are Who We Are

2011-11-06T20:52:00.006+08:00

It's never easy to really live as a person we truly want to be, nevertheless we'll end up trying our best in order to become one. Some of us struggle just to make sure the path that they take is leading them towards the right destination, while some take easier ways, inherited from their families; money, status and power. The wealth of one's family can be the determining factor to charge forward faster than anyone else. But life is not always that fair, for sometimes, based on mere patience and never-ending efforts, the tortoises emerge as winners instead of the rabbits.

I wasn't born in a rich family. I didn't have all those things that rich kids were playing with. When I entered school, I carried hope from my parents and brothers who never got the chance to finish what they had started. In fact, my late dad's dying wish to my brothers was to make sure this little guy finish his studies. They did. I did.

I used to envy the rich kids. They could have everything they ever wanted. I didn't always wish to get all the toys, the branded shirts and pants or even the cool mobile phones that they had. The only thing that made me envious all the time was the fact that they could afford to go and study wherever they wanted. I remember early in the morning on the registration day, me and my aunt were hopping from one bank to another just to withdraw RM40 from her account. The ATMs had only RM50 notes in them, and my aunt's account had RM43.20. My mother had given me all her money and my aunt did as well. The ones in her account were the last - our last resort. But thank God, we managed to find one ATM with RM10 notes and have myself registered. I said to myself, "If only we were rich."

But I saw something else later on. The rich kids, not all but most of them, were wasting their time and family's money. They lingered and skipped classes, and they proudly announced, "Every semester is my new semester". Not because they enjoyed it like the married couples' famous words, "Every night is our first night", but because they got barred or failed in the exams in every semester. I told myself, "If that's the attitude I would have for being rich, then I thank God for making me this broke." Yes, maybe I said that because I was indeed broke. Maybe if I was rich, I would be proud of being like them. Maybe.

I had my ups and downs, but I think I turned out to be a pretty decent guy. Not the best, but quite okay. I have fulfilled my dad's last wish and despite having done all that, I still want more. I still want to move forward. I don't want to stop. Because I realize now that money won't make you human. It's the upbringing; the family and friends you have around you... and knowledge. That's why I thank God for making me like this, for giving me the family and friends that I have now, and for providing me with mountains of knowledge to climb and explore.

We can complain about the things around us, but that does not tell us anything. Because when we look at them again one more time, we'll know that they are the reasons why we are who we are. I can never be who I am today without my family, friends, knowledge and those ATMs. Can you?

Money Honey

2011-10-26T19:53:00.013+08:00

Badol:
Hey you...

Tijah:
Yes?

Badol:
I'm not rich. I don't have money. I cannot buy you stuff. I cannot always treat you to lunch and dinner. Is that okay?

Tijah:
Not a problem.

Badol:
And I cannot buy you a cool birthday present or throw you a surprise birthday party.

Tijah:
Don't worry about that.

Badol:
And even if I had money, I wouldn't buy you anything more expensive than the ones I bought for my mom. For my mom's birthday last month, I only managed to buy her a cake which cost me about RM29.90. And a pack of strawberry tissues worth RM4.90.

Tijah:
You should be proud of yourself.

Badol:
I'm so broke right now. I can't even have my glasses fixed. See? I'm not wearing them because they are sort of... damaged. I kind of accidentally sat on them yesterday.

Tijah:
Don't worry. When you have the money, go have them fixed first, okay? Your glasses are more important. You're driving, right? It's very dangerous.

Badol:
But I wanna be a cool boyfriend who gives his girlfriend everything she wants. I wanna be the one who wipes your tears using RM100 notes. I wanna do my best.

Tijah:
That's so sweet... but don't force yourself, okay? You don't have to do that.

Badol:
Why... are you so understanding? God! I'm so lucky to have you! (holding her hands excitedly)

Tijah:
Eh... wait! Wait! What are you doing?! (pulling away)

Jijah:
Hey, Badol! What are you doing?!

Badol:
Eh...?! (confused)

Jijah:
I can't believe this! You are cheating on me! How dare you!

Badol:
Jijah...?! You're Jijah?! Then who is this girl?!

Tijah:
Hello, I'm Tijah.

Badol:
Ti... Tijah?

Jijah:
What now?! Pretending not to know her?! Damn it, Badol! Dah la miskin, main kayu tiga pulak tu! Jantan tak sedar diri! Ptuihhhh! (leaving the scene angrily)

Badol:
Oh my God! Wait, Jijah, wait! I'm not wearing my glasses! That's why I didn't see that she's not you! Wait! (trying to stop her)

Jijah:
Get lost! I should've known it! You are a worthless piece of crap! And you're so poor! Just leave me alone! I don't need a guy like you! I deserve better!

Badol:
No... please. Jijah, please! Please! Please! Please understand! Please! I love you! (holding her hands tightly and begging on his knees)

Janitor:
Akak dah kawin, dik.

Badol:
Huh?

Tijah:
Dude... that's... the janitor. Your girlfriend has left already. That way. (pointing at the girl who is about... 100 metres away)

Badol:
Owh. So... sorry. Salah orang.

Tijah:
Dude, I gotta go. Nice meeting you.

Badol:
Wait! Wait! Can I meet you again, later? Someday?

Tijah:
Why? What for?

Badol:
I wanna know you. Because you're... cool. You don't care about money and stuff.

Tijah:
Says who?

Badol:
You said it yourself just now... that it's not a problem that I don't have money and cannot buy you stuff. That I shouldn't worry about it.

Tijah:
Oh, you got me wrong. I said "It's not a problem" because you're not my boyfriend. If you were my boyfriend, that would be a BIG problem. Plus, I already have a boyfriend and he's insanely rich. He's so rich that when he farts, it smells money... and a bit of curry. Anyway, goodbye and good luck!

Badol:
Ceh.

How To Destroy A Laptop By Just Staring At It

2011-09-12T10:48:00.002+08:00

Step One
Get a laptop.

Step Two
Put the laptop in front of you.

Step Three
Stare at it.

Step Four
While staring at it, call someone you really trust to come over.

Step Five
While still staring at, tell that someone to take the laptop and throw it against the wall.

Step Six
Still keeping your eyes on it, tell that someone to make sure the laptop is in pieces. Step on it, bang it on the floor or burn it, even.

Step Seven
Keep staring at the laptop.

Congratulations! You have successfully destroyed a laptop by just staring at it.
Just because it SOUNDS impossible, does not mean it IS impossible.

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 6: Hikayat Seram Garpu Mahaswansea

2011-09-04T20:54:00.005+08:00

Garpu Mahaswansea sedang lena diulit mimpi. Tilam katilnya yang empuk sentiasa membuatkannya berdengkur beriramakan muzik Rock Jiwang kontemporari dari negara seberang yang suatu masa dahulu sangat dipopularkan oleh sebuah band yang penyanyi utamanya ditangkap kerana bergomol-gomol di dalam sebuah video yang tersebar luas.

Jam menunjukkan 12.36 tengah malam. Telefon bimbit didatangi dengan skrin boleh cucuk-cucuk jari miliknya berbunyi. Gadis bernama Pishau menelefon. Sambil berguling-guling, Garpu Mahaswansea menjawab dengan manja. "Ye Pishauuuu...nape call malam-malam camni? Pupu dah tido tau...". Gadisnya menjawab, "Saja je. Boleh ke tak? Kalau boleh cakap "Oh yeah!", kalau tak boleh cakap...", sebelum sempat si gadis itu menghabiskan ayatnya, Garpu Mahaswansea yang masih berguling-guling itu terguling di atas seorang... seekor... sebungkus pocong.

"Oh najis! Oh najis! Ohhhhh najissssss!", Garpu Mahaswansea terjatuh dari katilnya sambil menjerit ketakutan.

Pocong itu bangun dan senyum. Tanpa membuang masa, Garpu Mahaswansea bergegas lari ke arah pintu dengan niat berlari lintang-pukang gaya backstroke, andai kata si pocong itu mengejarnya. Namun tombol pintu bilik yang digenggamnya keras membatu tidak boleh dipusing.

"Bukak la wei!! Bukak!!!", teriak Garpu Mahaswansea dalam ketakutan. Baru disedarinya bahawa tombol yang cuba dipusingnya itu kelihatan seperti kepala botak bersaiz kecil berwarna kuning seakan-akan kepala toyol. Rupa-rupanya memang toyol! Lantas Garpu Mahaswansea menerajang semua benda, binatang mahupun makhluk yang berada di depannya dan berlari keluar. Ketika itu baru dia sedar bahawa tangannya masih memegang telefon bimbit skrin cucuk-cucuk jari dengan nama 'Pishau Nom Nom' di talian.

"Hello! Pishau! Pishau! Tolong Pupu! Tolong Pupu! Tolooo...", ditolehnya betul-betul, telefon bimbit yang disangka dipegangnya itu sudah tiada, tapi kepala penanggal tersenyum sinis ada! Dilemparnya ke dinding sekuat hati sebaik sahaja penanggal itu mencium pipinya.

"Kejap! Kejap! Kejappppp!", Sidop mencelah.

"Apa?", Kudes terpinga-pinga.

"Part guling atas pocong tu aku boleh terima lagi, part tombol pintu jadi kepala toyol pun okey la, aku layankan je. Part henpon jadi kepala penanggal tu aku tak boleh blah. Saiz tak sama kot! Siap cium pulak."

"Ala, lantaklah. Ni cerita aku."

"Kot ye pun, agak-agak ar. Hukum fiziknya bertabur benor. Dah la tu, berapa banyak hantu ko nak masukkan hah? Baru keluar bilik dah ada tiga. Kalau sampai pintu luar, tangga bilik, mangkuk jamban, pagar luar, berapa kau nak bagi? 30?"

"Potong stim betul la kau ni. Ah, aku tanak tukar. Lantak la apa ko dengan editor aku nak cakap, aku tidak akan memberi seketul najis pun. Ni cerita aku."

"Ptuiiiii!"

...... Maka ditakdirkan tuhan ceritera 'Hikayat Seram Garpu Mahaswansea' mendapat sambutan hangat dari pembaca lalu dipilih oleh tiga orang direktur adik-beradik negara untuk diadaptasikan menjadi filem komedi seram yang bakal ditayangkan pada Syawal 2012......

The Art Of Laughing So People Can Understand

2011-08-24T09:34:00.003+08:00

Ey:
Hahahahahahahaha!

Bi:
Heheheheheheheh!

Si:
Nyeeeeeehehehehehehehe!

Di:
Huahuahuahuah!

Iy:
Bahahahahahahaha!

Ef:
Muahahahahahaha!

Ji:
Hohohohoho!

Hesh:
Nohohohoho!

Ai:
Kihkihkihkihkih!

Jey:
Kahkahkahkahkah!

Kay:
Waaaaaarghahahahahahaha!

El:
Ngehngohngehngohngeh!

Em:
Hikhikhikhik!

En:
Hihihihihi!

Oo:
Hnnss..hnnsss..heh..hehheh..hehennn...nggg...nnngg...nnnnnahahahahahahaha! (evil laugh)

Pi:
Hakhakhakhak!

Kiu:
Hauhauhauhauhauhau!

Ar:
Hehohehohehohei!

Es:
Behbehbehbehbeh!

Ti:
Agagagagaga!

Yu:
Ajajajajajaja!

Vi:
Vavavavavavava!

Dabelyu:
Nyehnyehnyeh!

Eks:
Ngengehngeh!

Wai:
Ahaks!

Zek:
LOL!

Everybody:
???

Zek:
LOL!

Everybody:
LOL?

Zek:
Yeah, LOL. Laughing Out Loud.

Ey:
That's not laughing. That's a description of a 'laughing' action. When you're drowning in the sea, instead of screaming, "Help! Help! Help!", do you say, "IAAFH."?

Zek:
Umm...I don't know.. what's IAAFH?

Ey:
I Am Asking For Help. Hahahahahahahahaha!

My First Encounter With An Alien

2011-08-12T09:38:00.009+08:00

Valaha was sketching in his room. He had to submit the final draft of his latest cafe design by the next day. It was so stupid. As an architect, he should have never messed with the cafe owner... wait, scratch that. Being an architect has got nothing to do with never messing with a cafe owner. Well, long story short, he told the cafe owner that the layout of his food shop was messed up. And the owner was pissed, he dared him to come up with a new layout in two days, or he had to pay for everyone's meal for a whole week, If he succeeded, then he got to eat there for free... for a year.

Back to his current situation, he was giving the final touch to his new layout. When he was just about to finish everything, he heard a bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

It sounded like a series of explosions! Or perhaps firecrackers. He looked outside.

"What the hell???"

There was a greyish little man, or boy, standing outside of his house. He stared at Valaha... and smiled.

"Hi there! Wanna join? I have loads of these things, let's play together!", the grey man, or boy, offered some of his firecrackers.

"Oh shit! Oh shit! No way! No way! No! No! No! There's an alien outside of my house! They have invaded Earth!"

Valaha ran outside, but not without a weapon. While running, he could not help but realize that he was like in a movie where there was always something to grab from the house when something eerie or bad occurred. In his case, the most typical of all, a baseball bat.

"Now you, alien guy! You may have invaded this planet, but don't you dare to think for one second that we'll surrender without a fight! You may take our lives, but you will never take... OUR FREEDOMMMMMMM!!!"

"Oh dear, he has started quoting dialogues from 'Braveheart' again. Guys! Help!", the alien called for reinforcements.

Valaha was clearly outnumbered and in just seconds, he was apprehended. While holding him, one of the aliens explained the situation.

"What situation?!!", Valaha refused to listen.

"Your situation! Look around you! Look!"

Valaha reluctantly did what was told and... everything slowly came back to him.

"You see? You get it now? You're not on planet Earth anymore. You're on planet Tripaltakupisumaitadish. Your Earth was destroyed by a mega earthquake eight years ago. Only six people survived. We saved them. We saved you! But the other five have died. Three of natural causes, two...committed suicide. You are the last of your kind! And here, you are the alien!"

"Then... what happened to me? Why didn't I remember this before?"

"Well, when you first arrived on planet Tripala.. Tripaltalak... Tripapa... here, you were in denial. You didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept the truth, so you kind of... developed your own 'kingdom' in your imagination. Occasionally, you'll come to realize the truth, like now, but then you'll get back on your imagination plane. But we'll know right away."

"How...?"

"You always quote dialogues from 'Braveheart' movie when you're...crazy."

"I see...then what's with those firecrackers?"

"Well, we noticed that humans loved firecrackers, so we developed ones of our own in order to make the survivors feel like home. But turns out, we love firecrackers more than you guys ever did."

"What?"

"They are so fun and addictive! We play with them every day and every year there will be about 630,000 aliens got hurt by firecracker explosions! We even tried to eat them... and we exploded. But since we possess high speed regeneration, it's okay. But we don't encourage humans to play with them! Leave the danger to us!"

Jumper

2011-07-31T02:43:00.006+08:00

Mr. Krish
Okay Yusop, impress me. Tell me something about you that is different or unique from anyone else. Make me want to know more about you.

Yusop
Okay.

Mr. Krish
Go.

Yusop
One day, when I was walking home from a very tiring and boring meeting at my least favourite building, the Kuala Lumpur City Centre (KLCC), I saw... no, I met a... I mean I happened to encounter a... hm, I witnessed a tragedy. Well, it involved a man with the idea of committing suicide as a way to make the world a better place. He was standing right on top of the Monorail station, threatening people that he would jump.

He cried, "The world now is a damned place! The world now is a damned place!". Then a man shouted from below, "What do you mean by that?". The guy replied, "The world used to be so peaceful and free of materialistic ideas! We used to have lives without any sort of unhappiness caused by money and stuff! But now everything is about money! Everything is about power!"

"Then... um, what do you suggest in order to change this world?", he asked.

"My death will remind every single one of you! That money can't buy happiness, and your power will never save a life! Prove me wrong, and I'll live! But if you can't, then I'll die on you people! All of you! My blood will spill on your hands and face!"

"You want me to prove you wrong? Well, first of all, how do you think people will react and change by your death? I mean, who are you? Are you someone important? Are you a public figure or something?"

"I am a nobody! I am a nobody! And that's why you people will regret this! Because a nobody like me is willing to sacrifice his life in order to put some sense into your polluted brain! I don't need to be a somebody in order to influence people! I myself am capable to change the world! With my death!"

"That's true! But the problem is, if you're a nobody, then people will forget you! They will never want to remember you! It's true, Mr... what's your name, eh?"

"My name is... Jumper! Just remember me by that name!"

"Now that's a bit of a problem. First you're a nobody, now you're saying your name is just... Jumper? It's not that...catchy."

"Shut the hell up! I don't need you to tell me what I should do or what kind of names I should have! I'm going to jump!"

"Wait! Wait! Please wait!"

"What?"

"What if. What if you hang on to your life a little bit longer, try and be a more significant person, then you kill yourself."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Trust me. The effect will be better!"

"I know what you're trying to do! You're trying to persuade me not to jump, aren't you? Like that's gonna happen!"

"Seriously! Ask yourself, what if Mahatma Gandhi or Abraham Lincoln killed himself in front of the civilians? Don't you think they were going to remember that? Yes?"

"Who the hell are they?"

"Owh, okay. Okay. You don't know them. What if... any important figure in our country kills him or herself in front you...don't you think you're going to remember that for the rest of your life? Look, my point is, people need to know you before they can listen to you."

"I don't know you but I'm listening to every word you say. So your point is ridiculous."

"Are you sure you're listening to me? Because if you are, then by now you should've walked down here and stopped thinking about committing suicide."

"You're... you're confusing me! To hell with you!"

And he jumped and died right away. End of story.

Mr. Krish
I... I don't get it. And I don't think I'm impressed... at all. What, are you saying that you are ACTUALLY the guy who tried to persuade the jumper?

Yusop
Nope. I'm the guy who witnessed the tragedy. Like I said.

Mr. Krish
Then... how should I be impressed by this...?

Yusop
Well, there were hundreds of people at the scene on that day. Most of them were taking pictures of... or recording the incident. Probably half of them were just standing. And half of that half were hoping that he would jump, while the other half wanted him to survive. A few of them called the police or the ambulance. Maybe three or four of them felt they shouldn't be there and left. And only two of them were making an effort to save the guy.

Mr. Krish
Two...? Did you include yourself in that number?

Yusop
Yes.

Mr. Krish
How? What did you do that made you think you were trying to save him?

Yusop
I provided the other guy with the dialogues.

Mr. Krish
What?

Yusop
The other guy was talking to his girlfriend, on the phone, during the time of the incident. They were having a fight. He didn't realize about the Jumper. When he shouted "What do you mean by that?", he was actually shouting at his girl, on the other side of the phone. But the Jumper heard it and thought the guy was talking to him. Hence, the conversation.

Mr. Krish
So... you happened to be next to the guy and provided him with... what to say?

Yusop
Yup. He wasn't really in the mood, you know. But since everyone started looking at him, he had to play along. So I helped. And that's the part where you should be impressed. Because I came up with those words spontaneously. They came out naturally. Even though they failed to save the guy, but that's not the point. My brain is full of words, that's why I am perfect for your magazine.

Mr. Krish
Wait... wait. Why didn't you say those words yourself?

Yusop
I was having a sore throat.

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 5: Hikayat Esemes

2011-06-21T23:52:00.004+08:00

Sepasang couple sedang ber-SMS pada waktu malam sebelum tidur. Jam menunjukkan 11.47.34, 11.47.35, 11.47.36......

Juli
Nantuk... :(

Rapit
Pi tido pi. :)

Juli
Epok?

Rapit
Tammau. :P

Juli
Nyanyi n dodoikan?

Rapit
Tanak. :D

Juli
:'(

Rapit
Olololoh... :D

Juli
Nanite... *blowing kiss*

Rapit
Alamak! Dah terbang pergi! :(

Juli
Camne boleh terbang pergi? :(

Rapit
Angin kuat sangat. Tak sempat tangkap. :(

Juli
Pi carik balik! Kalau tak tammau kawan dah. :(

Rapit
Okey! Jap! Jap! Jappppp!

Selepas 3 minit...

Rapit
Dah dapat! Tersangkut kat satelit Astro atas bumbung rumah tadi. Heheh. :D

Juli
:)

Rapit
Betul dah nak tido?

Juli
Betul laa... dah nantuk giler. Medula oblongata I dah shut down dah ni. :(

Rapit
Ooo... okey2. Hati2! ;P

Juli
Nape?

Rapit
Ada hantuuuu...eeeeee.... :D

Juli
Tak takut pun~

Rapit
Nanti jangan peluk bantal tau. Takut terpeluk benda lain pulak..... heheheheh~ :D

Juli
Bwek! Tak takut!

Rapit
Nanti jangan pandang bawah katil tau....

Juli
Ish!

Rapit
Huhu. T_T

Juli
Nape?

Rapit
I tertakutkan diri sendiri. T_T

Juli
Hehehe. Padan muka! ;P

Rapit
Wuwuwu. T_T

Juli
Klakar la U ni... hee. :D

Rapit
Heheh. U hepi tak skrg?

Juli
Hepi! Nape tanya?

Rapit
Hm.... :)

Juli
Nape 'hm....'?

Rapit
Jom kita break up jom. :D

Juli
Huh? What?

Rapit
I said, jom kita break up jom. :D

Juli
Why??? :(

Rapit
Ntah. Dah lama sangat kita kapel. Bosanlah pulak. Heheh.

Juli
U jangan main2!

Rapit
Mana ada I main2. I serius ni. Tengok I buat muka serius. Hm. >=[

Juli
U serius ke ni? Sumpah? :(

Rapit
Sumpah. Jom la break up. :)

Juli
Habis tadi nape U mesra2? Nape buat I senyum? Nape buat I hepi??? :'(

Rapit
Sebab I nak bagi mood U baik. Supaya U boleh terima keputusan ni dengan baik. I ada baca kat Internet. Kalau nak break up, make sure si dia tu dalam mood yang baik & waras. Hee. :D

Juli
Palotak U!

Why He Hates His Parents

2011-06-19T19:08:00.007+08:00

Deejay
Hello, hello, hello! 'Saywell.fm', who's there?

John Smith
Hello, hi, I'm John Smith.

Deejay
Yes, John! How can I help you? Is there anything you wanna share with me and our dearest listeners tonight? Please do so.

John Smith
Yes. I wanna tell you a story about my parents. And the reason why I hate them.

Deejay
Owh...you, you sure you wanna talk about it... on air?

John Smith
Yes. And please just listen. Don't hang up. Please.

Deejay
Okay, as you wish.

John Smith
Thank you. So here it goes...

247 years ago, Ronald Smith and Elizabeth Smith got married. They lived in a farm. A year later they gave birth to a beautiful son. They named him John Smith. They were so happy together, and that boy was even happier. Perhaps not to some people, but living in a farm with a loving family was always his dream.

Unfortunately, when the boy reached 15, he fell sick. He was dying. The father tried everything to cure him, but none worked. The mother prayed to God every night, hoping to find a cure, but her son would just get worse. They spent every penny and took him to all kinds of doctor, but all ended up in vain. After months of trying, they finally gave up.

Then one day, a stranger visited their home. He came up with a proposal. Knowing that it would cure their son, both of them agreed with one condition - "Do not ever tell our son about what happened". He agreed.

The next day, John Smith was healthier than ever. Not only did he survive the illness, he ran faster and jumped higher than anyone else. He was stronger. The family got on the horse again. They started over. This time aorund, they promised that nothing would take them apart, ever again.

But eight years later, Ronald Smith died. Elizabeth followed him the next year. Those back-to-back tragedies broke John Smith's heart. He never had a family of his own because he loved his parents so much. But he could not fight fate. "Everyone dies," he said, "but now?? And why can't I die too???" It was then, he met the stranger who saved his life.

"I did not save you back then. I only prolonged your stay here in this world. But the truth is, you died the day I came to you", the stranger said. "I bit you, remember? You're a vampire. You were no longer a human the day your parents and I made the agreement! Every day, in every single drink you had, your parents put in their own blood so you wouldn't starve. Every day they told you to work downstairs so you wouldn't burn under the sunlight. They didn't want you to have any friends so you wouldn't feel different. That's the truth! They made you a vampire!"

...... ...... ......

Deejay
So... uhmm... is that the reason why you hate your parents? Because they made you... a vampire?

John Smith
No. That's not it.

Deejay
Huh?

John Smith
I hate them because they lived like slaves to me. I hate them because they gave their blood to feed my appetite. I hate them because they spent all of their time protecting me. I hate them because they didn't wanna have another child because of me. I hate them because they sacrificed everything for me. I hate them because they made me live long enough to see them die. I hate them because they made me feel lonely for two centuries. I hate them because they made me miss them. I hate them because they made me love them this much. I hate them because they were the best.

Deejay
Awww... you just sounded like '10 Things I Hate About You'.

John Smith
Shut up.

Deejay
You're a good vampire son. But...I have a question, though.

John Smith
What?

Deejay
You said the reason why your parents didn't want you to stay under the sunlight was because... they didn't want you to burn?

John Smith
Yeah. Vampires burn if exposed to sunlight.

Deejay
Don't vampires just... sparkle under the sunlight?

John Smith
Do I sound like one of Stephenie Meyer's vampires to you?

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 4: Cinta Dan Kapal Hubungan

2011-06-05T02:28:00.004+08:00

Hadi
Okey, sekarang lagi senang kalau kau berterus-terang. Apa yang buat kau rasa macam ni? Apa yang buat kau ragu-ragu, sampai menggelabah tak tentu pasal sedangkan bendanya belum pun berlaku. Cuba cerita. And aku cakap, "Cuba cerita", bukan "Ceciter, ceciter". Sekali-sekala guna macam tu, tak apa. Banyak kali dah jadi annoying nak mampus. Ha, cuba cerita.

Japa
Well, at first macam biasalah, jatuh hati, berkenalan, rasa makin suka, rasa makin sayang, propose jadi pakwe-makwe, then kenal hati budi dengan lebih lanjut, hari-hari mesej, hari-hari call, kalau sehari tak dengar khabar rasa semacam tak lengkap. Mula-mula semuanya rasa best, bahagia tak ingat. Tapi lama-lama rasa lain sikit. Belum sampai tahap bosan, tapi... yelah, rasa macam tak kena.

Hadi
Okey, bila orang cakap hubungan dia macam ada yang tak kena, ada beberapa situasi yang selalunya berlaku tanpa disedari. SATU, diorang memang sebenarnya dah bosan, tapi masing-masing tak nak mengaku. DUA, dah wujud orang ketiga. TIGA, diorang baru perasan yang sebenarnya diorang tak serasi langsung. Sebelum ni semuanya either nafsu atau just buta. Asal ada rasa syok sikit, oh, itulah cinta! Podah. EMPAT, diorang dah jumpa orang baru. Belum sampai tahap jadi orang ketiga, belum cukup kenal untuk dijadikan skandal atau simpanan, tapi diorang terjumpa seseorang yang lebih menarik, sama ada dari segi fizikal mahupun personaliti. LIMA, diorang dah langgar barrier.

Japa
Barrier? Maksud kau?

Hadi
Perbezaan usia, ataupun darjat, ataupun agama, ataupun bangsa, ataupun sifat, atau apa-apa yang pada mulanya diorang rasa macam, "Tak apa, we can find a way to deal with that later", tapi lama-lama setelah cuba dan terus mencuba, diorang gagal dan akhirnya give up. That's the barrier I'm talking about. Is that your case?

Japa
Tak. Aku rasa kes aku lebih kepada nombor tiga atau empat. Atau kedua-duanya.

Hadi
Look, kalau bab keserasian, aku tak boleh komen. Sebab bukan aku yang tengah bercinta dan berdilema sekarang ni. Kau dengan partner kau yang lagi tau tentang hati budi masing-masing. Kalau kau rasa masih ada peluang untuk korang menjadi lebih serasi, then by all means, cuba. Kalau kau rasa korang dah habis cuba, then lagi baik stop awal-awal sebelum dua-dua sakit hati. Hm, kalau bab jumpa orang baru pulak, bergantung. Siapa yang jumpa ni? Kau ke dia?

Japa
Dua-dua. Aku baru terjumpa, yang dia pulak aku dah tau lama dah dia jumpa. Dalam rahsia. Tapi aku tau. Aku boleh hidu. Aku yakin dia dah lama jumpa orang lain. Mungkin dah sampai tahap dombor dua.

Hadi
Macam mana hubungan korang? Masih intim ke atau dah nampak macam hilang tumpuan? Kalau dah nampak macam hilang tumpuan, then mungkin dah parah sampai tahap nombor satu. Tapi kau sure korang bukan nombor tiga?

Japa
Tak, masa kitorang jatuh cinta dulu memang kitorang yakin dengan perasaan kitorang.

Hadi
Nenek aku pun pernah cakap macam tu masa dia suruh aku bawak dia naik basikal jalan ke rumah jiran jual kain. Tapi bila aku baru start kayuh dah jatuh hempap kaki dia sampai patah, sampai sekarang dia ungkit. Anyway, kalau masalah korang jumpa orang baru ni, then aku nasihatkan be honest to each other lah. Kalau dah tak yakin dengan hubungan tu, let each other go. So kau boleh terus berkenalan dengan yang baru tu, and dia boleh terus berkenalan dengan yang baru jugak.

Japa
Kalau kes nombor satu, macam mana pulak?

Hadi
Obviously kalau kes nombor satu korang dah tak boleh buat apa-apa. Ye, aku boleh cakap "Mungkin ada cara lain untuk korang kembalikan rasa sayang tu dan hilangkan rasa bosan", but unfortunately, aku tak ada idea sekarang. Kau try tanya orang lain. Kalau aku, baik jujur dengan diri sendiri.

Japa
So...I should let my love go?

Hadi
Ha, that depends on whether or not you really meant it when you said "my love". Did you mean it or did you simply use the term generally?

Japa
Aku pun tak sure. Tapi macam tak sampai hati pulak nak break. Dah lama kot.

Hadi
Life will get better eventually. Masa break memang rasa semacam pahitnya. Tak kisahlah atas dasar kehendak diri sendiri atau tak. Tapi as I always believe, sometimes in life, we have to let go certain things in order to gain new and better ones. Aku bukan nak cakap yang kau patut let go now or in the future. Kau boleh try hold it one more time, kalau kau sanggup. Aku cuma nak bagitau yang bila kau dah cuba macam-macam and still failing, then it's time to let go. Accept it. Banyak benda kau boleh belajar dari situ.

Japa
Haih, pening kepala aku!

Hadi
Memanglah pening. Kalau tak bukan masalah namanya. Anyway, kau boleh dengar nasihat aku ni, atau kau boleh ignore. Aku bukan expert pun bab-bab macam ni.

Japa
Bukan senang nak start over, dude. Nanti nak kena mengurat balik... kenal hati budi masing-masing balik... kena propose balik... adoi.

Hadi
Tapi lagi susah kalau hidup dalam keraguan, tak pasti hala tuju, hati tak senang, sana-sini curiga, tak percaya satu sama lain and stuff, kan? Plus, kau bukan dalam filem Hindustan semua masalah akan settle in the end and ada happy ending. Ni real life ni. Ha, kau pilihlah sendiri yang mana kau lagi prefer.

Japa
Kau rasa aku patut break ke atau tengok dulu macam mana?

Hadi
Aku tak boleh bagitau. A good advice is always neutral. I can give you options and opinions, like I just did, but I must never tell you to pick yang mana satu. Kalau aku buat macam tu, maknanya aku bukan tengah bagi nasihat, tapi menghasut.

Japa
Tapi aku rasa aku patut break. Aku dah confirm sangat dia dah ada orang lain.

Hadi
No comment kat situ. Aku memang tak boleh cakap apa-apa. Dude, aku cuma kenal kau online kat Facebook, jumpa and hang out sama-sama pun tak pernah. Aku fan Liverpool, kau Manchester United. Silap hari bulan kita ni musuh. What makes you think aku layak untuk bagitau kau exactly apa yang patut kau buat?

Japa
Itulah sebabnya aku tanya kau, bro. Sebab kau tak kenal aku and Timah personally. So kau boleh bagi opinion secara bebas, tak biased kepada sesiapa. Kau tak kenal aku, and kau definitely tak kenal Timah.

Hadi
Timah? Umm, dude, nama sebenar kau apa eh? Jaafar ke Azfar?

Japa
Azfar Muthalib. Kenapa?

Hadi
I think you should break up with her.

Japa
Eh, kenapa tiba-tiba?

Selepas 30 minit tanpa reply...

Japa
F**k you! I repeat, f**k you, Hadi! Macam manalah aku boleh tak perasan yang kau nilah si bangsat yang tackle awek aku, kan? F**k you!

Malaysia And That Little Part Of Us

2011-05-28T01:18:00.005+08:00

1. The Escalator

A Malay woman was walking around in a shopping complex, having her eyes on stuff from one shop to another, with her 7-year-old son. Then she headed towards an escalator while the son was happily running here and there. She called him, "Hey, come here!" He rushed towards his mother.

By fate, his right hand was stuck in the moving escalator, and crushed instantly. He screamed painfully while the mother cried for help from anyone around. Everyone panicked. The escalator was still moving and pancaking the small hand of that boy. Nobody seemed to know what to do. Then a Chinese guy came with one of the guards. The guard put a key in and the escalator stopped.

One quick call from the Chinese man (who made the right move - instead of standing around and panicking) and the Malay boy survived.

2. The Scissors

A Malay man was riding a motorcycle when his 60-year-old mother who was sitting on the back tripped and fell. They both faced the hard ground and suffered the impact. But his mother suffered more. As her kain batik got entangled with the wheel, she broke her leg while falling. It could get worse as the broken leg was right beneath the red hot exhaust.

But it was not meant to be that bad as an Indian man from the nearby magazine shop came to the rescue. He brought along a pair of scissors and immediately cut the entangled cloth before it brought more harm. She survived.

And that old woman is now healthily growing old and walking from house to house, visiting the neighbours and still talking about the man who saved her.

3. The Gangsters

A 13-year-old Chinese student was studying in a local school. As a normal teenager, he played and messed around. People would probably call him mischievous or even more than that, but who in that kind of age is not?

One day, several men with tattoos all over their body came and waited in front of the school gate. They were waiting for the kid, furiously. Something must have happened. The kid ran towards a Malay teacher and asked for help. He was scared to death and did not want to go back.

The teacher then brought him face-to-face with the men at the gate and said, "This is a school, and this is my student. Here, he is my responsibilty and I'll watch him walk towards his home, safely. Don't touch him." And the kid reached his home safely.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I heard these stories secondhand. I'm not sure if they really happened as I wasn't there to witness them. But to me, these stories are amazing and I feel obliged to share them. And I know for sure, there is more out there.

Racism has been a pain in the ass these days. We suffer from hatred because of petty reasons and stuff that is beyond our understanding. We talk and fight against each other. That is a fact. But, I am more than willing to bet, that despite everything that has happened, there will be one or two of us, if not all, who will step up and save our friends and even strangers from a different ethnic when it matters most. Because I know deep in our heart, we care. And that is all that matters. That little part of us.

That's Not How You Treat A Lady

2011-05-12T10:42:00.000+08:00

When I wrote 'The Price A Woman Should Never Pay', I thought those responsible for the incident were the worst people I could possibly imagine. But I was wrong.

Today, I learned that humans will never fail to disgust me in every way that is possible. They will succeed in portraying the darkest part of their heart and the rest of us will not be able to believe just how good they, or maybe I should say 'we', are at it.

These women are the victims of extreme selfishness, ridiculous sense of humanity, and allow me to say it, disgustingly lack of love and appreciation that if I had to describe these tragedies and the people who were behind them, I'd proudly say, "Motherf**kers."

Who the hell gives you and me the right to throw acid on anybody?

Credits to my friend Baizulikha for posting this on Facebook, Jim Verhulst and Emilio Morenatti for publishing this story on... here.

Hate This & I'll Love You

2011-04-29T00:20:00.005+08:00

"Whoa! You just stole my meal! Now I'm going to make you pay for it!"
"No, I'm not gonna! I'm not gonna!"
"Well, I knew you were going to say that. So I already paid it using your card."
"Aww...wait, no! Wow, that was harsh!"
"You well deserved it! Ha! Ha!"

The first time she did it, it was adorable. The second time she did it, it was cute. The third time she did it, I smiled. The fourth, fifth and probably sixth, or was it seventh? Well, I still didn't mind. She was lovely, my own sun that shone on me, warm and welcoming, and my life was at its best! She completed me.

"You know, instead of making you pay for meals using your very own card, oh sorry! Cardsss.."
"I get your point."
"...I think I should use them on something else. Maybe some shoes? Bags? Huh?"
"You know, when you speak that way with that smile and gesture, you really look like a witch with breast cancer."
"Breast cancer has got nothing to do with the way I smile!"
"Well, I did mention 'gesture'..."

There was one moment of hesitation in my years with her, when she asked me to take her home after work and I refused due to a possible super heavy traffic in her area. She didn't say anything. An hour later she called me, crying, saying, "Next time you picked me up whenever I asked you to! I almost killed a man!"

"What happened?!!"
"He tried to snatch and grab me."
"Huh?"
"He tried to snatch and grab me! What are you? Deaf?"
"I thought you said... you almost killed a man...?"
"Well he tried and failed! It was raining, he slipped right before he reached me. So I hit him instead, before he could get me."
"Well, are you sure he had that intention to... snatch and grab...you?"
"That's what I meant by "I almost killed a man!". I was scared! You didn't want to pick me up! So I panicked every time I saw a man! What do you expect?"

On my 25th birthday, she bought me a cake. There was a face on it, 'me with a baby smile' she said. She bought me no present because, she told me, "A babbbbyyy doesshhhhnnn't know anythiiiiingggg about a presheeennntt!", while pinching on my both cheeks.

"I hate this song."
"What song?"
"'Hate This & I'll Love You'"
"Then don't listen to it."
"But I want to listen to it!"
"Then listen to it."
"But I hate the feeling this song represents!"
"Is it possible that if you hate this song, you'll love the feeling it represents?"
"It could be."
"Then do it."
"Okay!"

She never did. She kept listening to the song and got very grouchy afterwards. It would be me, only me, who was able to put those witch-like smiles back on her face. It was supposed to be that way.

But it wasn't. Because I never let her keep my cards. I never said anything about the way she smiled. I never thought about taking her home from work, ever. I never picked up the phone when she called. I never wanted the cake because I threw it away. I never listened to her complaints about the song. I never cared. And for all the possibilities that could have happened if I was different, I wish now I could have cared.

This story has got nothing to do with anybody. It's 100% fictional.

"Your Daddy's Cool...!"

2011-04-14T00:47:00.006+08:00

"I hate him! He always says that I can't have it because it's not for me. Says that a good kid should never play with that kind of things! But what does he know? I'm the kid, not him!"

Rishi shouted out what he had in mind. He hated his dad for not buying him the scooter he wanted. It was blue in colour, with some black stripes on it, a combination that had been his favourite since he watched the new 'Ultraman' series. "I love that scooter! It's got my favourite colours on it! It is literally Ultraman Agul's scooter!"

"But maybe your dad was right. You see at school, bad kids always ride on scooters to chase and bully other kids. Maybe it is true that a good kid should never ride a scooter...", his friend Jaban defended his bestfriend's dad. He had always admired Rishi's father, especially since the day he scolded those bad kids who had been making fun of him. They used to call him 'Jamban'. Not anymore.

"Ahh! The truth is, he doesn't have the money to buy one for me! What a lame dad! Everyone's daddy is like.. rich or something. You see Daud's dad? Yesterday he bought him another Barbue doll that cost him about 27 hundreds ringgit!"

"You... want your dad to buy you a Barbue doll? That's silly...", Jaban responded sceptically.

"No! What I'm trying to say is, his dad got him a very expensive toy! Just like that!" Rishi argued.

"Nah, Daud's lying. There's no way that Barbue doll cost 27 hundreds ringgit! With that amount, you can buy... eleven cars!", he showed all of his fingers from both hands excitedly.

The next morning, Rishi's dad entered his bedroom. He woke his son up and brought him outside. Right when he set his eyes on the thing in front of him, a series of happy-like adrenaline rush took over Rishi's body. In great excitement he cried, "Whoa! A mountain bike! A mountain bike! Thank you, daddy! Whoa! Whoa!"

While watching his son trying to get on the bicycle, he said, "Now that's what a 7-year-old kid should ride. Not some stupid-looking scooters. Next time when those boys try to tease you again, you outrun them with the speed of light! You have bigger wheels! Come on!"

Rishi had not learned how to ride a bicycle, yet. So he pulled his new 'toy' by his side and went straight to Jaban's home as quickly as possible.

"Dude, your daddy's cool...!", Jaban was impressed, again.

A New Place To Learn English

2011-04-11T14:29:00.005+08:00

Let's Get Whiteboard-ed

Straight to the point, me and my friend Syafiq (again) are co-hosting a new blog called 'Let's Get Whiteboard-ed'. The main purpose of this blog is to make it a community where anybody who loves English can share what he or she knows or wants to know about the language.

But the best part is, when we said 'share', we literally meant it. If you have ideas about teaching methods, learning skills, study tips, classroom experience or anything related to English education, we encourage you to write it down in a form of a writing and send it to us! If it's good, we'll publish it on the blog with your name as the author.

Some people complain about their level of English proficiency and how to improve it. Well now we have one of many solutions - start reading and writing!

Other than that, 'Let's Get Whiteboard-ed' will also be a place where you get to know about news and what's going on with our country's English teaching and learning. There you'll find links that direct you to a lot of important websites, important as in for; research papers, English games, literatures, dictionaries etc. I'm sure they'll be good for your classrooms (if you're a teacher) and studies (if you're still studying).

You can check how to write to us (really simple steps) on 'How You Can Contribute' on our page.

Anyway, do have a look and think about it, okay? We wish you all the best and we surely hope this new site can be of help.

TRAPPED IN PERSON

2011-03-27T02:44:00.003+08:00

Look into your eyes and wonder
a few years have gone away
you’ve washed away the fears
but they come back
hands have bled and hurt
and your mind has self-expressed
it has self-told
that everything should stop when things’ve gone wrong
or continue despite the truth
they will tell you’re wrong
or admit you’re not when it’s wrong
it’ll become a stage of self-lying
you’ll believe anything that is there
because you’re self-lying
that you’re not self-trapped

A Tale Of A Fire Accident

2011-03-14T14:31:00.002+08:00

It was Ilham's voice that woke me up. In actuality, I was not really sure if it was him who called me, but I knew well enough that he was the only one who would ever call me by that name. "Wake up, Jamu! Wake up! You need to get out of here!"

I could not see a thing as the smoke was getting into my eyes. It was hot, too. But Ilham kept leading me towards the exit. "Here! I know you can't see anything, so listen to my voice, okay?"

Our office was on fire. When we heard the explosion, everyone's face turned white. They panicked. "Fire! This room is on fire! Get out of here!"

We were all running when a fat young man accidentally hit me with his elbow and I fell down on the floor. Then the same guy banged the door so hard that the file cabinet got opened and all those thick hardcovers dropped right on my head. I lost my consciousness. But seconds before I blacked out, I noticed the tables, chairs and walls were burning fiercely, and I was the only one left.

"Wake up, Jamu! Wake up! You need to get out of here!" Ilham came back to save me. I followed his voice and slowly walked out of the room. My hands got burned pretty bad while trying to protect myself from the burning walls. I wondered how Ilham's hands were.

Outside, I saw them crying. Either they were shocked or happy to be alive, I could not tell. And I could not find Ilham. I was sure he was right in front of me. I searched for him. Then one of my colleagues said, "Jamil! Oh, I'm glad you made it. Thank God! It was close! When the kitchen exploded, it killed Ilham...and you were just right next to him. But I'm glad you're here."

On that second, I remembered witnessing the fire eating my brother alive. He was screaming for help, but I ignored him. I panicked and I ran as fast as I could. I did not even look back. Then that fat guy hit me.

Dramatic Durian

2011-03-01T02:14:00.006+08:00

Did I tell you that I am a movie goer? That I love watching movies a lot? Well, if I did, that's good. If I didn't, well... guys, I am movie goer. I love watching movies, especially back-to-back, and nothing excites me more than watching movies at the cinema.

Anyway, me and my friend Syafiq are sharing similar interest in this activity and somehow one day we decided to create a site that talks about movies all the time. 100% movie-related. Local and international. Guess what? We did it. There are reviews, featured articles and news over there. Do have a look, please.

www.dramaticdurian.com

And this guy's name is DD. Hoho.

How Do You Know When You Are Going To Feel Sick?

2011-02-20T23:58:00.004+08:00

Not feeling well is a common phenomenon for humans. It's like when you forgot to submit your assignment during the previous class. It's like when you forgot to wish a friend 'Happy Birthday'. It's like when you forgot to lock the door while taking a poop. It happens all the time. But also, there were times when we failed to realize, or 'forgot' that we were not feeling well at a certain moment, until our very own body laid down on bed, weak and unable to move, like a housefly under a flyswatter. And then we regretted it.

So how do we know when to know that we are going to feel sick, beforehand? Aha! Here I provide some unconventional clues. If you are experiencing any of these situations listed below, do make sure you stop doing whatever you're doing right away, eat healthy food and take a good rest. Better safe than sorry.

1. When your SMSes are full of vowels, like "I see..", "Ooowh..", "Eee...", "Blueeek", "Uuum..", "Aaa...", "Huhuhu..", "Wuwuwu.." and other made up sounds.

2. When you say "Pizza!" while pointing at a glass of water on the mini table and you repeat it again when your mother says, "What?".

3. When you start running unconsciously from the bedroom towards the living room while being chased by your mother and brothers/sisters.

4. When you start getting worried about the size of the cupboard that looks bigger than the door and wondering how it got into the house in the first place.

5. When you can't finish your favourite food and let your brother/sister have it happily.

6. When you scream in fright while watching a comedy.

7. When you don't feel bad for not going to work or class.

8. When you feel angry over the guy who invented ice cream.

9. When you can read a doctor's handwriting.

10. When your friend says "Justin Bieber is the best singer in the world!" and you don't say a word to disagree.

11. When you say "Justin Bieber is the best singer in the world!".

12. When you still say "Justin Bieber is the best singer in the world!" even after your friend had corrected you.

13. When your girlfriend/boyfriend wants to watch 'Twilight' instead of any other movies and you don't do a thing to stop her/him.

14. When you want to watch 'Twilight' instead of any other movies.

15. When you still want to watch 'Twilight' instead of any other movies even after your friend had stopped you.

16. When (sigh) your body temperature is not 37 degrees Celsius and you feel comfortable sitting in a car at 12 at noon without switching on the air conditioner.

17. When every song you sing turns into a sad song and every movie you watch turns into a horror movie.

18. When you wipe the spilled vanilla shake on the floor using your cat instead of any proper cleaning equipment while thinking "Never mind. It will just lick itself back and now I'm giving its fur a flavour."

19. When you don't like Muse.

20. When you don't support Manchester United.

The Ronaldinho-and-William Hung-looking Lady Ghost

2011-02-13T01:44:00.004+08:00

So this Debol guy went out one night and saw something, or someone he didn't really want to see.

It all started 2 minutes back when he and his roommate talked about a 'ghost' story. It was 12.12 a.m. and Buyut was telling Debol about how he heard that the campus was 'haunted' by a 'lady'. Debol was that kind of guy who would get his heart chicken-ed by just hearing words like 'ghost', 'spirit', 'haunt', 'graveyard' and 'Miss Zubaidah'.

Buyut was like, "I heard it from a guard who heard it from another guard that years ago there was this ugly 40-year-old lady who worked at the cafeteria downstair. Her face was badly injured in an accident she had when she was a kid. Because of that, she wasn't really friendly, didn't like to talk much and she spent most of her times cleaning the floors and watching 'Rosalinda' at home. I mean, you can imagine how an ugly woman feels watching that telenovela, right? Jealousy and rage were all over her, you get me?"

"How did she look like, really? I get that she was ugly, but how ugly?", Debol was curious.

"She was...Ronaldinho-ish. And a little bit of William Hung...as a woman...", Buyut answered. "Eww!", Debol reacted in disgust before his friend added, "...and she slipped in one of those toilets we had at the cafe, with her face hitting right into the nasty bowl. Unfortunately, somebody forgot to flush it before."

Debol felt like throwing up so he went outside. He threw up and then he threw up again. He was quite good at using his imagination, so what his friend had told him was repeatedly playing on his mind with 'styles' of how he had imagined earlier - Ronaldinho and William Hung combined, with some additional features from the toilet bowl.

Then he saw something...or someone. A woman was standing in front of him with strong eyes and a smirk that reminded him of a Brazillian footballer and an accidental American Idol superstar, saying, "I just wiped that floor 30 minutes ago and now you have made me feel like wiping it again. How amusinggggg!"

Debol fainted instantenously.

That was how he missed Miss Zubaidah's lectures for six days straight and got barred. His friend Buyut didn't get the chance to finish the story and tell him that the woman survived the 'horrible' toilet accident and was still working at the cafeteria downstair.

People On Facebook™

2011-01-27T19:35:00.008+08:00

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it is improper to have these things on your Facebook™. I mean, who am I to ask you to stop writing whatever you have in mind? I do the same. In fact, I do it all the time. But I'm just wondering, did you ever feel like, "Ergh! Just for once, can you stop?" when you read some of your friends' (or perhaps you might want to call them 'collection' as you don't really know or talk to all of them) status updates?

I don't like putting those who are on my friends list in hide mode. I put them on the list because I wanted to know them. If not directly, then indirectly will suffice. So I can enjoy reading their updates no matter how weird or annoying they are. There's always something to learn, eh? But that's me. You might have a different point of view so you use everything that has been provided by Facebook™; the 'hide' button for instance.

But even with the fact that I purposely prepared myself to read them, there were moments when I felt like banging someone's head against the floor. When they used the same pattern too many times, again and again, you can't help but feel disturbed. Did you feel any of these, at the very least, for once?

1. If I wanted to learn philosophy, I would have taken philosophy classes!
"Life's a journey, not a destination." <-- All the time.

2. If I wanted to learn ideology, I would have taken ideology classes!
"Being single is always better! Oh, I love being single!" <-- Twice a day.

3. If I wanted to know about your feeling, I would have asked you, "How are you feeling?"!
"Ko ingat aku heran sangat ke dengan boyfriend ko tu, hah? Dia bukan hensem mana pun! Ko jer yang menggelabah tak tentu pasal. Die, bitch, die!" <-- Kejap lagi marah orang lain pulak.

4. If I wanted to know about how much money you had spent, I would have asked you, "How much money did you spend?"!
"I just bought a new bra worth RM400, a new pair of shoes worth 579.99, and most importantly, I got my dream Prada handbag worth RM1000++!" <-- Silent mode in the middle of the month.

5. If I wanted to know about your business, I would have told you to count me in!
"Dengan log in Facebook saja saya sudah memperoleh RM2000 dalam masa 2 hari. Tunggu apa lagi? PM saya sekarang!" <-- Next time ayat sama, amount je yang lain.

6. If I wanted to know about your relationship, I would have asked you, "How are things going between you and him/her?"!
"Sampai hati U tuduh I curang, B. I tak pernah buat camtu. Dalam hati I there's only U!" <-- Kenapa tak SMS or call, or post on his wall?

7. If I wanted to know about your weight, I would have asked, "How much do you weigh?"!
"Dulu berat 55kg. Pastu turun 48kg. Pastu naik 60kg. Huhu." <-- Suruh bersenam, tak nak. Pastu hari-hari complain.

8. If I wanted to know how many friend requests you get, I would have asked, "How many friend requests do you get?"!
"Just rejected 1219 friend requests. Sorry, I don't approve strangers." <-- I bet she knows every single friend who's already on the list (4344 altogether).

Like I said, it's not my place to judge anybody and tell them to stop. But as a simple human being, we're not that great to escape from saying 'Enough!". Sometimes, when you keep reading the same thing, you feel tired. And you can't blame people if they start to label you against your way. I talk nonsense all the time on Facebook™ (I really do and I love doing it), and my friends start labeling me 'nonsense'. Can I blame them?

I believe that those on your friends list give colours to your life. Because you have chosen them to be among 'you'.

p/s: And they give you stories to talk about, too. In Malay we call 'mengumpat'. Hohoho.

The Entry I Did Not Wish To Publish

2011-01-25T01:40:00.003+08:00

Why aren't there pictures describing anything?

Writing is an art, and so is reading. You can read thousands of words anytime, anyday. You can read more words the next day. You will not fail to read them as you know what you're reading. Yes, because you know what you're reading that pictures aren't here to describe anything.

In a good piece of writing, there shall be a picture or two describing the uttered words you have in mind. In a good piece of writing, there shall be illustrations visualizing the uttered words you have in mind. In a good piece of writing, there shall not be only letters explaining the uttered words you have in mind.

Be it in an article or news, or whatever goddamned thing you have in front of your eyes.

But why aren't there pictures describing anything, here?

Because I want it that way. I always wonder if I'd be able to have anybody read my writing without any additional motivation, like visual motivation for instance. I always wonder if people would read my writing even if there isn't a single picture to help you relax your eyes and mind.

So that's why there are no pictures describing anything. But at times, I do need to feed myself with some colours. So I put specifically some visually-enhanced entries under one certain genre. But most of the times, I prefer to challenge myself and ignore those colours. I did not wish to tell anybody about this for it would defeat the purpose. I did not wish to publish this entry for it would undo the challenge I put against myself.

But here again, I gain another challenge. Will I submit to the fact that by doing so my writing will be as dull as...a dull writing - I haven't got any good comparison for that, or will I not? It's really hard to attract readers nowadays, you know? Especially when your writing isn't about sex and scandals.

Aliens And Football

2011-01-17T02:40:00.004+08:00

After failing in their attempts to conquer planet Earth two times in a row (please refer to here and here), the aliens finally realized that they must not rush. They should wait and be prepared for a lot of things. The humans are so unpredictable and every data they have on them cannot be trusted. So the aliens stayed low for a while and practiced.

Long have they searched for a loophole and long have they tried to win, yet victory hasn't been very good at knocking on their door. But they have found another way to strike. They have found... football.

What you're about to hear is the direct translation of their conversations, recorded during practice. On 15th January 2011, at 3.33 p.m., somewhere around Earth, they had this:

Alien Five:
"You gotta know four basic things! Pass, hold, shoot! Pass, hold, shoot!"

Alien Two:
"But that's only three, boss."

Alien Five:
"The fourth is shut-the-hell-up-and-just-do-what-I-said! Now you do these things and keep doing it until... wait, where's Number One?"

Alien One:
"Here! I'm here! Wait up!" (rushing towards the group in a 'suit')

Alien Three:
"What the hell are you wearing?"

Alien One:
"Oh, this is American Football suit. I bought it yesterday as soon as I heard we were gonna start practicing football."

Alien Five:
"I said 'football', not American f**king Football!"

Alien One:
"It's not the same?"

Alien Five:
"No. Football uses the foot, left or right, to play with the ball. American Football does not."

Alien One:
But I checked and double-checked it! They were all calling this 'football'! The one you were talking about, that foot thingie, it's called 'soccer'!"

Alien Four:
"Oh, I get it. He went to the United States Of America."

Alien Five:
"The United Sta...why, why on Earth did you go to the United States Of America?"

Alien One:
"Aren't we going to strike from that country?"

Alien Five:
"Who said that?"

Alien One:
"The movies! 'Independence Day', 'Signs', 'Skyline', 'Transformers', 'Cloverfield', 'The Day The Earth Stood Still', 'Race To Witch Mountain', 'War Of The Worlds' and...what else? Well, all those alien-related movies showed that aliens like us would start with the United States first! Right?"

Alien Two:
"No they did not! What about 'Koi...Mil Gaya' and 'Senario XX'?"

Alien Five:
"Okay, cut it! I don't care how you got this stupid invade-U.S.A-first idea, and we're not gonna strike that country anyway, but take away this clown suit! Get it off my face! It's not football! It even hardly uses the foot!"

Alien One:
"Then why call it American 'football' if it hardly uses the foot? Ceh!" (removing the suit)

Alien Three:
"So boss, if we're not gonna attack the United States, which country do you have in mind?"

Alien Five:
"The small ones. Like Nepal, Singapore, and Malaysia. Something like that."

Alien Three:
"But boss, the reason why we're practicing this sports is because...we want to blend in with them, right? Because this is the number one sports on their planet. We practice, become good at it, and then join their football team. Blend in. In disguise. But then, why do you want to invade those small countries? They are not even dominant in football games. Why not England, Brasil, Argentina and Spain?"

Alien Five:
"Do you really think we stand a chance to join their first team if we strike England, Brasil, Argentina, and Spain? Football is a human sports. It's not meant for aliens like us! We can never play as good as them! That's why I choose those small countries. They are weaker footballers, so we might be able to outperform them. See? I'm a genius!"

Alien Four:
"You're a genius, boss."

Alien Five:
"That's what I just said."

Alien Three:
"But boss, if Lionel Messi can do it, so can we!"

Alien Five:
"Who's Lionel Messi?"

Alien Three:
"He's like us. They said he's from another planet."

Alien Five:
"Hmm..." (thinking)

Alien Two:
"Boss, you haven't told us about the fourth move. Pass, hold, shoot and what else?"

Alien Four:
"I don't think he really knows what he's teaching..." (whispering to Alien Two)

Alien Five:
"Shut up!"

Alien One:
"Umm...someone...can someone help me? I can't take this helmet off!"

To be continued...

Comic Adaptations (Part 2)

2011-01-13T00:54:00.008+08:00

I guess life gets better naturally, alright? It can never get worse on its own, unless you yourself do some things that perhaps don't belong, and they eventually lead to the demise of your own fortune. Or something like that. But there's no such a person who purposely makes his or her life that bad. In fact, we all struggle to improve ourselves to the utmost possibilities, greatest possibilities that lie ahead, and should we fail...well, life will still get better someday in the end. Because it has to. It won't get worse just like that.

On my part of living a life as a writer, it does get better. It moves slowly, but it's getting there. I got some ideas running in my brain, I know how to start working on them, and it's just a matter of time before I start visualizing them into reality. But I want to take my time. For the moment, allow me to cherish what I have in hands.

On Friday, November 12 2010, I wrote a short story about how fragile a child's love towards his mother is if compared to vice versa. It's titled 'When It Breaks More Than It Should'. Turned out that my collaborator Fakhrul Anour loved it and wanted to make it a short 6-page comic strip. I guess it's my luck.

You can 'listen' to his points of view about the story here.

And like I've always said, I write whatever I have in mind. Sometimes it could be total nonsense, sometimes it could mean something. I write to feed my passion, and however weird my writings end up to be, I thank you for reading them.

p/s: You might wanna check Comic Adaptations

A Story Of A Nasyen

2011-01-05T23:56:00.010+08:00

So this story took place exactly 612 years ago. On 1399, about a year or two before Parameswara leaned his back against the Melaka (some sort of Indian gooseberry - so they said) tree and founded Melaka (internationally known as Malacca), someone unknown had reached that very same land beforehand and 'planted' something. It was an idea. And if any of you thinks this is pretty much like the movie 'Inception' by Christopher Nolan, you are not wrong.

So this guy was called Nasyen. He came with three of his most trustworthy advisors and each advisor controls several hundreds of independent warriors. Even though I said this Nasyen guy was unknown, he was actually quite famous throughout the continent. It was just that modern people like us never heard a thing about this guy that made me label him 'unknown'. And though the advisors' warriors were called independent, they were most likely available only with the presence of imperial seals that belong to Nasyen himself and the Three Advisors. That did not make them entirely independent, did it?

On the day he set his foot on Melaka's soil (at that time it had not been named Melaka - just a new land), Nasyen promised his men that in 12 months (or more), there would be some powerful people coming to the same land. Those powerful men led by a wise young leader would soon create a small kingdom renowned to the whole seas. Then that small kingdom would later develop into a nation. "And that nation will give you everything", he told his people. Little did they know that Nasyen was under the influence of a highly sedative herb (for his infected throat) at that time, he was high and pretty much delusional, hence the speech. But the Three Advisors and their warriors did not take that lightly.

Hoping to achieve a new life, a better one, those Three Advisors vowed, come hell or high water, they would make Nasyen's words a reality. They scattered their warriors to all lands with one mission, "Make someone worthy come to this land". With secrecies in so many events, like a shadow those warriors pulled strings together, one after another, and set everything up; the biggest one would be Paduka Sri Maharaja Parameswara's flight from Temasek (now famously known as Singapore) towards the northern side of the land. In fact, the very same warriors held responsible for igniting Majapahit's invasion in order to ensure that young prince would soon reach the destined land.

And there, the Three Advisors 'borrowed' Nasyen's priced white mouse deer to play its part. Famous for its sly attitude, the mouse deer was placed close to Parameswara's resting place. Soon, the young prince's dog (most probably a Chihuahua) saw the running deer. Not knowing there was some chicken-tasting sauce spilled over the mouse deer's body, the dog chased it. It was then the dog was outwitted and kicked by the mouse deer, and Parameswara witnessed this strange event. He was then inspired to found a kingdom.

Wait...wait a minute. You never heard of this story? Seriously?

Okay, you may say that this story was made up. You may say that I was telling a lie. You may even believe this story really did take place, if you want to. Everybody can claim they know the real history behind the foundation of our land and people. They can say that this is from here and that is from there. You can say anything. But for the love of God, we are all here, are we not?

The invasion of Majapahit, the foundation of Melaka, the rise of Tanah Melayu, Malaya, and eventually Malaysia, everything is a series of events. Maybe it happened by fate, maybe by coincidence, maybe by a lie. But again, we are here, are we not? And that is what matters.

We are stuck together here in one land. So let's just stick together. We have an idea of our own now. We have our Nasyen, we have our Three Advisors, and most of all, our independent warriors. Let's just stick with that for the moment.

You don't understand what I'm talking about? Too bad.

Phone Call From My Dead Dad

2010-12-21T16:48:00.008+08:00

My dad died when I was 14. But of course for a son who loved his dad, he remained alive in my dreams. I always dreamed about him talking to me like how we used to, but I realized those dreams I had were mere dreams. I knew what was real and what wasn't. I did, until just now.

Today everything changed. The moment which I thought could and would never come...had come. It came knocking on my brain's door. It was, "Hey, I'm here to tell you that anything is possible!" at me. I was driving, on my way home, when 'someone' SMS-ed me. Claiming to be my dad, he said:-

"Ini Ayah tlong isikan credit mxis RM50 ke nombo bru ayah 0128115902 Ayah lgi ada msalah kat blai plice. Lepas credit masuk bru ayah call."

In English, it means something like this, "This is dad. Please have my new number 0128115902 topped up with RM50. I got some troubles at the police station and will call you as soon as the credit's in."

Whoa! I didn't know they had telephones beyond the grave! I was like, "Wow! Dad! You finally called! After all these years? How did you get my number? What are you using? Blackberry?" and so many questions. I was shocked and laughing at the same time.

Oh come on! It's getting old already!

The part that really surprised me was that there are STILL stupid people who use a really stupid method to cheat other people, and the fact that this kind of things STILL finds its way around us means there are STILL individuals who fall for it. So question, if you of all people get cheated by this stupid scam, that makes you...?

This is hilarious, really. Anything IS possible. And I didn't even call my dad 'Ayah'.

Comic Adaptations

2010-12-12T19:08:00.008+08:00

I first discovered my 'ability' to write when I was six, during the kindergarten year. My handwriting was so horrible that the teachers had always been complaining they couldn't understand a word I wrote. Feeling demotivated and then got motivated by that 'demotivated' feeling (I hated the feeling therefore I fought it, in order to overcome it -- get it?), I re-discovered the same ability and found a new and better style of handwriting. End of story.

Now that was a bunch of crap writing. What the fish.

Okay, seriously. I first discovered my passion in writing when I always smiled whenever my Bahasa Melayu teacher gave me an essay homework like, every week. I was like, "Hey! Why am I smiling? Oh, because I love writing essays!" But that was Bahasa Melayu essay writing. Years later, when I registered myself as a TESL student, I knew that I was going to write a lot in English. In fact, a lot more and a lot better in English. When I finally got my very own personal computer, nah, I started writing random things every day. And I'm still doing it today.

My counsellor said, "My advice is, you must never allow yourself to be 'bound' by anything that makes you write in a certain way. Because from what I see, you write freely and don't have specific forms or styles. Keep doing that." Yes, I literally write whatever I have in mind and most of the times, nonsense.

But fortunately, that 'nonsense' of mine has somehow managed to put a 'sense' in my life and poof! At least now I know that my nonsense-styled piece of writing is not entirely nonsense, at all. Muahaha!

My once written and published on this blog 'KTMB: A Love Story' has been adapted into an eight-page comic strip illustrated by Fakhrul Anour.

PROMO: Karya Kolaborasi: 'KTM: Kisah Teladan Manusia'

And our next project is on its way. That would be 'Promises' (a twelve-page comic strip).

PROMO: 'Janji Agus...Ibu'

Well, I can honestly tell you that whenever I write, it is only because of my passion. I write whatever and however I want. Maybe some of them annoy you, maybe some of them inspire you. Doesn't matter which one it is, deep in my heart I thank you for reading.

p/s: Fakhrul Anour, my friend Aimi says that her favourite is 'Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 3: 'Unable To Speak'' and she wants this up for the next project. What say you?

Finally, Finally And Finally

2010-12-05T00:57:00.008+08:00

I'm gonna speak using the simplest term and language. I'm a movie goer. I love watching movies so much that the feeling I have before entering a cinema is literally one of the best feelings I've always had. And when the cinema is not available to jump in, I'd sit tight in my room watching the downloaded version of whatever movies I wanna spend my time with.

Movies give me hundreds of ideas. They teach me to see the world from various angles and I can say that whoever I am today and whatever I do now and then are practically based on my observation I got from the movies. Because other than helping us having fun, movies tackle points of view in life that we generally might have failed to see.

As I said, I've watched lots of movies and I can name a few that stay deep down in my heart as the special ones. Just to name some, among them are 'Ocean's Eleven', 'The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy', 'Inception', 'Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer', 'Snatch', 'Babel', 'Vantage Point', 'The Dark Knight', 'Kick-Ass', 'Scott Pilgrim VS. The World', 'The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button', 'Seven Pounds', '500 Days Of Summer', 'A Bittersweet Life', 'Oldboy', 'Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance', 'Kabhi Khushie Kabhie Gham', 'My Name Is Khan', and...okay, I could go on and on forever.

But today was special. I heard about it long time ago and the review said that it was overall a great movie. Not the best and unlikely to win multiple awards internationally, but it was said to be a turning point for its genre...and language. After a while, I finally managed to have it 100% downloaded including the subtitles. So I watched it.

The movie portrays life in general, with sublime pinches on education, passion, friendship, family, love and most importantly... human's heart and mind. The messages are delivered in pieces, one by one combined and transformed into a bigger picture of what the movie is all about. The main character is never said a genius, but he shows his level of intelligence and perception splendidly that unlike some typical descriptive movies, he doesn't have to say, "I'm a genius".

The movie starts with him complaining on how terrible 'our' education system is nowadays, that schools and collleges have been turned into pressure cookers. Students are no longer excited in learning new knowledge and they consider it a reason to race instead. Then it starts to develop into a passion-wise typed of storytelling where the protagonist shows his peers that dreams can never be achieved without passion. It literally tells the audience, teachers and parents specifically, that they can guide their students and children to the top of the world, but in the end it's the student bodies themselves will determine whether or not they want to take the shown road.

I could spend more time explaining in details about how this movie has managed to awe me in many ways, but too bad I'm not writing a review here. I just wanna say that this movie deserves attention from all levels of people. And of course, I wanna tell you that this movie explicitly describes my biggest dream. I wasn't born a genius and obviously won't be one. But there's this part of me which is dying to do what the movie's protagonist has been doing for the entire 3 hours.

I determine not someone's level of achievement by how much he's being paid or how many Ph.Ds he has got hanging on his walls. I simply look at the number of people he has successfully motivated. I just wanna be a man who inspires. I've said this too many times and I just said it again.

'3 Idiots' is not just an ordinary made-in-Bollywood film. It is a Hindi version of telling a story about how to teach your students, how to reach your dream and how to lead success towards you. Yes, I know there are other movies out there that share the same content, but this one explains it best. Except for the singing scenes, I bet you can stand spending 180 minutes of your life...learning about life. Finally.

When They Say They Don't Believe In Love

2010-11-27T13:37:00.002+08:00

Aha! One funny thing about Facebook™ is that people (including me) tend to put ideologies and philosophies on their status updates. Of course the most favourite type is the one where people talk about what they are doing or how they are feeling, but obviously that is normal even outside of the famous social network. But ideologies and philosophies...well those are heavy.

I have seen so many status updates and I believe you have too. And I'm pretty sure I won't be the only one who says, "What? They don't believe in love?" Yes, I'm talking about people who say they don't believe in love and will never need one. I mean, why? Why is that? Why do they refuse to believe in love when it is practically the first thing a human, like us, will see when he or she gets born?

For this question, I have come up with several explanations. Maybe they are right, maybe they aren't. But let's have a look, anyway.

1. They want to be cool like the rockstars. They assume the rockstars don't waste their time on falling in love. Perhaps they have forgotten that even a rockstar has a wife and several kids, and they aren't gathered by hitting a guitar on someone's face.

2. They just got out of love. They find it hard to accept. They are hurt and don't want to feel the same again in the future. Perhaps they have forgotten that when they first learned how to ride a bicycle, they fell a few times but that didn't stop them from trying again.

3. They got rejected. They believe the world is not fair and love is just another lie. Perhaps they have forgotten that faith cannot be earned without doubts, and acceptance cannot be gained without rejection.

Well I'm sorry to say this, but these kind of people are lying. They say they don't believe in love when the fact is, they are the ones who need it most. Deep down in their heart, they want someone to prove them wrong.

We learned about love immediately when we were born. How do I know? Well ask yourself how you were made. You were created in you mom's womb with the very seed from you dad. How did that happen? Because they loved each other, and your existence is now the living proof of that. You being here in the first place shows that love does exist. How can you say otherwise? I mean, you weren't made out of a stone. What are you, Sun Wukong?

As usual, feel free to disagree.

The Aliens (Will) Strike Back

2010-11-18T00:20:00.008+08:00

After almost a year since the last attempt (click here if you want to know), they were back on the 14th of November 2010 with a more subtle plan. Yes, they still wanted to take control over the world. Still didn't give up.

Even though this time they had a more subtle plan, so they said, the location they had chosen to execute the plan was quite...the opposite. They chose a shopping centre.

Alien One:
"There are too many people here. Are you sure this is the best place? Why not the graveyard? The morgue?"

Alien Two:
"The morgue?? What are you, stupid? We want to dominate a living world, not the dead one! This is the best place. More people to witness how great we are. We just need to blend in and then, we strike!"

Alien Five (The Captain):
"Okay, here's the plan again. Make sure it sticks. Don't miss anything. Two of us will get the tickets, another two will buy the drinks, while me will be time keeper. I'll go to the toilet and wait for the signal. When the right time comes, we hit the button. Boom!"

Alien Four:
"Forth Eorlingassssssssss!!!"

Alien Five:
"What the hell was that?"

Alien Four:
"Owh, that's a battle cry. 'The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers'. Hee."

And so the plan started...

Alien One:
"So, this is what you called, 'blend in'? We're obviously different! Everybody is staring at us!"

Alien Two:
"Don't worry. I've studied everything. In their world, they have this one game called 'cosplay' where they wear costumes like cartoons, robots, aliens and stuff. To them, we're just cosplayers."

Man At The Counter:
"Can I help you sir?"

Alien Two:
"Give me two tickets for 'Dua Alam', please. 12 o'clock."

Man At The Counter:
"This movie is for 18 and above, sir. May I see your identity card?"

Alien Two:
"Here."

Alien One:
"Where did you get those?" (whispering)

Alien Two:
"I stole them. See how smart I am? I knew they would ask for identity cards."

Man At The Counter:
"I'm sorry, can you take off that mask for a second? I need to see your face."

Meanwhile...

Alien Three:
"Please give me two caramel popcorns and two Mirinda strawberries. Large."

Alien Four:
"Ah, I want Coke, please."

Alien Three:
"Oh, sorry. Make it one Mirinda strawberry and one Coke."

Man At The Counter:
"Okay. Okay, that would be RM12.90."

Alien Three:
"Okay, thank you."

Man At The Counter:
"Sure."

Alien Three:
"Heh. Heh."

Man At The Counter:
"........"

Alien Three:
"Heh. Heh."

Man At The Counter:
"Rm12.90, sir."

Alien Three:
"Okay, that's great."

Man At The Counter:
"Err...the money, sir?"

Alien Three:
"What's that?"

While in the toilet...

Woman:
"Ahhhhh! Pervert! Go! Go! Die! Die!"

Cleaner:
"Hiyeak! Take this! Hiyeak!"

Alien Five:
"Damn it!! Why are you hitting me!!? What did I do!!?"

Woman:
"You pervert! You think I don't know who you are just because you're wearing a costume!!?"

Cleaner:
"I've seen so many like you! You think I'm stupid? Just die!!!"

Alien Five:
"What the hell!!?"

So, during the post-mortem...

Alien One:
"You could steal two identity cards, but you missed the fact that there was a face on each of them, huh!!? Now I call that a genius! Really!"

Alien Two:
"Hey, don't put it on me! If these two clowns didn't blow their cover so quick, I would have had enough time to counter it!"

Alien Three:
"Whoa! Whoa! Hold the phone! Now you're pinning it on me? On me?"

Alien Five:
"You knew what to order, but you didn't know they had this 'money' thingy? You're probably the worst alien the humans could ever see!"

Alien Four:
"But boss, you didn't know they had gender... I mean, I knew of it. We all knew about it. It's so obvious in 'The Ugly Truth'.

Alien One:
"They pretty much have this man-woman thing on every movie. Don't you watch any of them? What's the matter with you, boss?"

Alien Five:
"Enough! We're going back now. We'll return with a better plan. And this time, don't miss a thing!"

And so they left. Worry not though, as in the future for sure they won't give up, they won't learn either.

When It Breaks More Than It Should

2010-11-12T22:11:00.007+08:00

As if the world is going to collapse the man screams and yells furiously towards an old woman. Full of wrath and malice he says, "I only asked you not to touch it, the simplest thing to do on this f**king Earth, just one thing, just f**king one thing, and you couldn't even f**king do it!"

A crystal-made vase worth hundreds of dollars is seen lying on the floor...in pieces.

The woman stays still. Her eyes are looking down to those shiny little pieces, her tears are dropping heavily like the raining skies, and her body doesn't want to listen to her deep inner voice saying, "Don't tremble, please."

"This f**king vase isn't mine, you dirty old woman! It's worth half of my salary and you just f**king killed it! What am I supposed to do, huh!!? Sell you and use the money to pay it? You're not even close to that amount! Damn it!" So he sits down on the couch. He puts his hands over his red face. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"

30 years back, a young little kid accidentally put down a mirror onto one wrong place. The mirror fell down on a table with an oil lamp on it. It hit the lamp. The inside liquid splashed itself right on the kitchen floor and the fire followed. Both of them burned the whole house down. But thank God, none was injured.

The mother held her son tightly. While trembling in fear the son whispered, "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to make it fall..."

The mother smiled. She said, "Don't worry. I will forgive you now so that later in the future when you've become a fine young man while I'm an old lady who touches your stuff, you will forgive me too. Is that a deal?" The son nodded with a smile to prove her words had comforted him.

But the promise has been forgotten. The fully fledged young man who was once a kid has totally ignored it. He shows his anger more than he should, and the mother smiles more than she could.

"I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean to make it fall..."

And the son stares at his mother, hatefully.

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 3: Unable To Speak (Tidak Terluah Dengan Kata-kata)

2010-10-24T19:02:00.021+08:00

BUJI sedang duduk di atas katilnya termenung. Pintu biliknya dibiarkan terbuka. Beberapa saat kemudian, SOFI, kawan baiknya masuk. Sambil berdiri di hadapan katil, dia bertanya kepada kawan baiknya yang sedang termenung jauh itu.

SOFI
Apa masalah kau ni, Buji?

BUJI
Ha, Sofi, bila kau sampai?

SOFI
Lebih kurang...(melihat jam tangan) 32 minit dan 41 saat yang lepas.

BUJI
Banyaklah kau 32 minit 41 saat. Aku nampak kau masuk bilik tadi.

SOFI
Dah tu, buat apa tanya lagi? Apa ek masalah kau ni? Menung memanjang.

BUJI
Apa masalah aku, eh? Hm..(tarik nafas) apa pendapat kau tentang English essay aku?

SOFI
English essay kau? Okay je.

BUJI
Just okay je?

SOFI
Baguslah maknanya..dah teacher pun asyik puji karangan kau, takkan tak bagus? The content is always fresh...the grammar is good...hardly spelling errors..apa lagi?

BUJI
So maknanya karangan aku...

RUBINA
Buji! Baju dalam mesin basuh tu dah habis cuci ke belum?! Aku nak pakai mesin basuh ni! (menyampuk secara tiba-tiba di hadapan pintu bilik)

BUJI
Dah..

RUBINA
Dah tu, tak reti nak keluarkan??

BUJI
Ala, tak boleh tolong letakkan dalam bakul ke? Takkan tu pun susah?

RUBINA
Banyak cantik! Apa kau ingat aku ni orang gaji kau??

BUJI
Benda kecik je pun, damn it! Tu pun nak berkira?!

RUBINA
Ah, lantak lah kau! Aku campak je baju kau keluar! (bergerak keluar)

BUJI
Yeah, just do it, bitch! I’d like to see you do it, you sickening pathetic whore! Your existence is a mistake! Mom and dad didn’t really want you! They didn’t plan for you!

SOFI
Whoa..easy dude. She’s your sister.

BUJI
Ah, dia tu tak habis-habis menyusahkan orang! Sakit hati betul!

SOFI
(tukar topik) So..kenapa kau panggil aku eh?

BUJI
Pasal English aku lah.

SOFI
Kenapa dengan English kau?

BUJI
Tengok la pulak aku cakap English macam mana..terhegeh-hegeh..merangkak. Tak macam time tulis essay.

SOFI
Dude, I just heard you speaking English like...seconds ago. And that was good.

BUJI
Bila part mencarut memang aku fluent. Tapi bila sampai part normal conversations, aku gagap.

SOFI
Macam tu pulak? Habis, kau nak aku buat apa?

BUJI
Apa kata kau duduk? Meh sini duduk sebelah aku.

SOFI
Err..no thanks..I don’t like the idea sitting on a bed with another guy...alone.

BUJI
Bangang kau ni..otak kotor. Aku straight lah sengal.

SOFI
Hehe, aku duduk atas lantai, okay? (duduk bersila atas lantai sambil mencapai Akhbar Harian Metro)

BUJI
Macam mana kau boleh fluent English eh? Bagi tips sikit.

SOFI
Tips apa...selalu cakap dalam English sudah..tu je cara nak fluent.

BUJI
Aduh..every time aku tanya tips nak fluent English, mesti semua jawab “always speak in English”. Tak ada cara lain ke?

SOFI
Dah kata nak petah bercakap, kena lah selalu bercakap.

BUJI
Masalahnya dekat rumah ni mana ada orang yang reti English melainkan aku. Mak bapak aku tak reti English. Dua-dua pure Malay.

SOFI
Kakak ‘kesayangan’ kau tu?

BUJI
Rubina?? Dia tu lagi bangang. Sepatah haram tak tahu. Disturb the water..disturb the water..

SOFI
Apa tu?

BUJI
Kacau air.

SOFI
Hah?

BUJI
Ala, kacau air. Masukkan gula, lepas tu kacau sampai sebati. ‘Kacau’. (sambil tangan menggayakan)

SOFI
Owh..!! Haha, bapak lawak!

BUJI
Tu la pasal. Tu pun dia belajar dari member dia. Sama-sama bangang.

SOFI
Tak baik kau cakap kakak kau macam tu, dude.

BUJI
Ah, dia selalu menyusahkan aku. I hate her. Okay, back to the topic. Ha, tak ada cara lain ke?

SOFI
Seriously, dude. That’s what I know. If you want to be fluent in a language, you speak the language. Trial and error.

BUJI
Leceh lah...

SOFI
Oh come on..you can do it..you’re already good in English, except for the oral part. Kacang je bagi kau.

RUBINA
Wei, bodoh! Yang kau habiskan sabun basuh, apa hal?? (muncul mengejut di hadapan pintu bilik, sekali lagi)

BUJI
Bodoh, dah memang tu lumrah alam, nak buat macam mana?? Yang hidup akan mati, yang ada akan jadi tak ada! Yang mula akan habis!

RUBINA
Kau jangan nak loya buruk dengan aku, eh! Habis aku nak basuh baju dengan apa? Bulu ketiak kau?

BUJI
Kalau bulu ketiak boleh buat basuh baju, tak ada orang jual sabun basuh, kak oi! Otak ada, pakai ar!

RUBINA
Banyak cantik! Aku lah yang kena beli, kan? Kau sedap-sedap bedal sampai habis, aku pulak yang terhegeh-hegeh beli??

BUJI
So what? Can you do me a fovour? Just move your freaking ass and get lost! I don’t give a shit about you!

RUBINA
Kau jangan nak speaking dengan aku, eh!

BUJI
Speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking!

RUBINA
Eeee..budak ni..!!

SOFI
Ha, kak Rubi, nanti balik saya belikan sabun basuh ye?

BUJI
Right, nanti kejap lagi aku beli lah. Bising betul!

RUBINA
Aku nak pakai sekarang lah, bodoh! (keluar)

SOFI
Err..hehehe..hehe.

BUJI
Did you see that? Did you see how annoying and irritating she was??

SOFI
A bit.

BUJI
Spoil mood aku je. Where did we stop? Ah, oral English. Aku bukan tak reti English langsung, betul apa yang kau cakap tu. Masalahnya, aku tak boleh spontan. Kena susun dulu ayat, terkebil-kebil mata, baru boleh cakap.

SOFI
Then you start with that, lah.

BUJI
Segan ar..teacher siap puji essay aku depan kelas..bukan sekali dua..banyak kali. Tiba-tiba sampai part speaking, terkebil-kebil. Malu!

SOFI
Malu tu lah yang susahkan kau. Nak belajar bercakap, kita tak boleh malu buat salah. Dari situ kita improve. (berfikir sejenak) Okay, macam ni lah. Bila kau mencarut dalam kemarahan, kau boleh speaking kan?

BUJI
Begitulah hakikatnya. Eceh, hakikat.

SOFI
(Berdiri, kemudian berjalan ke arah BUJI, lalu menendang kaki kanannya dengan sekuat hati)

BUJI
Arrrghhh..!!(mengerang kesakitan, berguling di atas katil sambil memegang kaki kanannya) Dam....urgh..! Damn it! Shit! What the fu...what..arghhhh..!!!! What the hell is wrong with you, dude??! Are you out of your freaking mind..??! You bastard!!Damn it! Damn it!(mengusap kaki)

SOFI
Does it hurt?

BUJI
It fu...it freaking hurts, you son of a bitch...!! It hurts!!

SOFI
Hey, if you want to say the ‘F’ word, just say it, okay? Don’t hold back.

BUJI
What are you, dumbass? I’m trying not to curse too much, damn it!

SOFI
That’s the idea! That’s the idea!

BUJI
What idea? Kicking someone’s leg and asking him not to curse?

SOFI
Bukan! You! You curse, but don’t curse. That’s it.

BUJI
You curse but don’t curse, what the hell are you talking about?

SOFI
Kau perasan tak? Kau tengah speaking sekarang ni!

BUJI
Speaking wha..? (berhenti sejenak) Yeah, I was...I am speaking English.

SOFI
Right? You’re speaking English , right? You see that? You see that?

BUJI
Yeah, yeah, I see it. But I told you it’s normal. Bila mencarut aku cakap dalam English. What’s your point, dude?

SOFI
Okay, let’s start again. Kau memang dah proficient in English, except for oral English. Right?

BUJI
Yeah.

SOFI
You can write in English, and you are grammatically proficient. But. But, when it comes to speaking in a normal conversation, you falter. Kau ragu-ragu, kau gagap, kau gelabah. Tapi bila kau mencarut, kau speak English, like, fluently. Maksudnya, kau sebenarnya boleh bercakap dalam English, but, kau terlalu self-conscious. Kau takut buat silap. Sebab kau dah bagus dalam grammar, jadi kau nampak every little mistake you make while producing a sentence, walau pun tak lah begitu ketara or menjejaskan maksud ayat kau, but you’re aware of it. Jadi kau takut. Kau segan. Kau malu kalau-kalau orang lain perasan mistakes yang kau buat tu.

BUJI
Go on.

SOFI
Self-consciousness kau dalam kes ni membataskan kau punya ability to produce sentences in a very short time, or in short, spontaneously. Tapi bila kau mengamuk, semua perkataan tak bagus dalam English kau boleh produce! Ha, sambung.

BUJI
Maksud kau, sebab aku terlalu takut grammar aku salah, aku jadi gagap. Tapi...

SOFI
(sambung) ...bila kau marah, kau dah tak kisah dah grammar kau betul ke salah. Self-consciousness kau hilang. Kau just nak luahkan perasaan kau. Kau bedal je. But, because of your level of proficiency in English grammar is good, kau jadi fluent time kau tengah seronok mencarut tu. Faham? The only thing that stops you from speaking English fluently, is your self-consciousness. That’s all. Dari segi grammar, you’re already good.

BUJI
I see. Now everything is making sense!

SOFI
Okay, let’s try it again.

BUJI
Try it again, what?

SOFI
I’ll hit you again, and all you gotta do is release your anger without cursing.

BUJI
Hahaha, no way. Kau nak tendang aku lagi sekali? No no no..(menggeleng kepala)

SOFI
Eh, kalau aku plan nak tendang kau lagi sekali, mesti kau dah ready awal-awal. So kau punya anger tak original la pulak.

BUJI
Exactly.

SOFI
That’s why this time I’m gonna punch you right on the face! (terus menumbuk BUJI)

BUJI
(jatuh terbaring ke atas katil) Adoi...sakitlah bodoh.........!! (memegang muka dalam kesakitan) Kau nak mampus...?? Kau nak mampus, SOFI?? Sakitlah, babi!!

SOFI
Ala, kenapa kau tak speaking??

BUJI
Suka hati aku lah nak speaking ke tak..!!

RUBINA
Hoi..!!! Yang kau terjerit-jerit ni kenapa?? Nak mampus?? Memekak betul lah!! (sambil mencekak pinggang di hadapan pintu)

BUJI
Kau jangan sibuk lah!!

RUBINA
Dah kalau kau asik terjerit kat dalam rumah ni, mana aku tak sibuk??

SOFI
Kami berdua tengah praktis belajar English, kak Rubi.

RUBINA
Lagi sekali aku dengar kau terjerit-jerit macam orang gila, aku terajang kau!! Umur dah 20 tahun, tapi otak macam budak tadika! Terjerit sana sini, tergolek sana sini. Terencat agaknya. (keluar samibil menutup pintu bilik dengan sekuat hati)

BUJI
Meluat betul aku dengan betina tu!

SOFI
So macam ni lah kehidupan kau seharian eh? Bertekak dengan kak Rubi.

BUJI
Aku pun tak ada idea nak buat macam mana. Dia tu memang annoying. Especially bila kau datang. Mesti mengamuk, kata aku buat bising lah, bercakap mengarut macam orang gila lah. Entah apa-apa entah.

SOFI
Dia risau pasal kau tu.

BUJI
Tak ada maknanya. Tapi ni lah yang buat aku tension. Sejak kau tak ada, aku belajar English sendiri. Tak ada sorang pun datang tolong. Selalu kau je yang tolong. (mengeluh)

SOFI
Sorry, dude.

BUJI
Kau pun satu. Yang pergi mati awal-awal buat apa? Tinggal aku sengsorang kat sini. Tak ada member nak speaking English with. Nak harapkan family aku, tak payah lah..tertekan aku. Macam mana nak improve oral English kalau tak ada geng nak bercakap? Kau tahu tak dah berapa lama kau mati?

SOFI
Aku tak ingat.

BUJI
Dah tiga tahun.

THE END

What’s With The ‘Bro’ Code?

2010-10-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

I have been listening to Hitz.fm a lot lately. Well, when you have to travel about 2 hours a day like, every day, there’s nothing more normal than listening to the radio, right?

So, there was this one topic called ‘The ‘Bro’ Code’. Jay Jay and Ean talked about it and then the listeners got to share some of their opinions regarding the matter. After ten minutes and a few calls later, I heard this man saying “I know a guy who broke the code”. Then the deejays asked about what happened. He said, “I heard from a friend that one of our friends is dating one of our friends’ sister.”

Okay, let me make this clear. I don’t have a sister. So maybe there are some parts of being a brother that slip far away from my points of view. Forgive me, but what’s wrong with a dude dating another dude’s sister?

If I have a sister and one of my buddies happens to fall in love with her, at the same time that sister of mine shares the same feeling for him and I know that guy is okay (if not great), I’d definite say, “Go ahead.” I don’t think I will ever interfere unless I know that friend of mine is a monster, drug addict or sadistic, jobless and lunatic predator.

But from the conversations I heard on the radio, most of them (the boys) agreed with the a-bro-should-never-date-another-bro’s-sister rule. Regardless whether or not that guy has been proven reliable. Why is that?

I understand that as a good brother you want to be as protective as possible. But which one do you really prefer your sister to date, a great and honest friend or a strange-looking stranger? And most importantly, do you have the strength to break your sister’s heart and make her cry just because of that rule? I believe the ‘bro’ code is not the factor you need to consider before saying yes or no. I think it is more important to know if that guy is able to make your sister smile.

And what if YOU are the one who’s in that I-am-in-love-with-my-bro’s-sister shoe?

p/s: Girls, if I was your brother, would you allow your friend to date me? :D

When You 'LIKE' To Hate...

2010-09-30T22:12:00.006+08:00

Let's start this topic with a very simple question. What is the main reason you open up a Facebook™ account?

To show that you are following the trend? To show what kind of cars you have? To see how popular you are? To make enemies and reasons to hate each other? Or to make friends and stay connected?

Forgive me if I am being offensive, but I think whatever reason you have in mind now, none of them really matters when you forget and break the limit...in a very negative way. Okay, long story short, let's take the most 'famous trend' in Facebook™ nowadays; The Hate Pages.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZWhyQpHTTk

You see this woman? Yes, she is quite annoying and for me the video is not funny at all. But to some people, this is damn hilarious and it actually makes their day.

But recently I found out about a page that suggests and encourages people to hate this woman a.k.a teacher because to them (the page) she jeopardizes the credibility of being an educator by acting 'that' way. Owh, you should look at all of her videos. They give me goosebumps and I don't like it.

But hey, hey, hey! What is so wrong about that? She is just enjoying herself. She doesn't hurt or kill anybody, she doesn't get naked and dance erotically, and for God's sake, she hasn't got anything to do with that Freemason/Illuminati organization. So why do some people get so irritated by her videos? If they don't like them, then don't freaking watch them! Why on Earth do they have to make a page and hate her?

Let me ask you another question. Are you a teacher? Have you been one? For those who don't know, let me make you know.

A mother takes care and educates her sons and daughters. A teacher takes care and educates her sons and daughters, and yours, yours and yours. Do you have any idea how tiring that job is? Awfully.

So in order to deal with that amount of stress, some teachers resort to hurting, molesting, raping, kidnapping or even killing their students. While some choose to enjoy themselves by making a video and posting it on YouTube™. Now if you take that away, what are they going to do?

I understand if you say those videos of hers do not suit her image. Yes, go ahead and make a complaint. Oh, I just said it. Go make a complaint, formally! Write a letter or something, meet somebody and let that guy know how you feel. I am sure when the teacher hears that her recent activity has been inappropriate, as an educated person she will control her behaviour, at least in public.

But when you freaking create a page and ask people to join and hate her publicly, you are actually doubling her stress, humiliating her, and every chance for her to change and improve herself goes right out of the window. Same applies with any other people you hate in a Facebook™ page.

Instead of thinking about, "Oh, they don't like what I do. Maybe I should change a little bit.", they say, "What's the point in changing myself? They already join forces and hate me. Even if I change, they will still hate me. So f**k off!"

Come on, let's use our common sense here. It's completely normal to hate certain people. I myself do hate certain people and I'm sure there are people out there who feel the same way to me. But do we really need to inform the world about that? What if the same method is used against you? What if one day out of nowhere there's a page that hates you? (Now when I think about this again, ooh, there might be a page that hates me afterwards.)

If you're really dying to have a page to 'like' using your hatred, then by all means go 'like' those pages that hate whale hunting or something.

I was once a teacher for a very short period of time. Trust me, being a teacher is one hell of a stressful job. Don't simply hate them because they are on YouTube™ singing a song.

p/s: I'm too lazy to upload the video. Just click the link, okay? Sorry.

Time Traveler's Dreams

2010-09-25T23:05:00.003+08:00

What would you do if you could bend time and space and go back and forth from the past and the future? Or in a simple sentence, if you could time travel?

Ooh, there must be a lot, yes? There must be a list of things you wish to have done or not years ago, and there must be some sort of dreams you would want in the future. Cool. Okay, why don't I ask this question to myself and see what I would do if I was allowed to time travel. Come on, humour me.

What would I do if I was a time traveler?

1. I would definitely go and meet Albert Einstein, Galileo Galilei and the rest, and tell them not to make any useful formula about Mathematics. I would force them to ignore the logic and make the subject seem less important. If they refuse, then I dump them in the age of dinosaur. See if they can formulate that.

2. I would find the young Matt Bellamy (MUSE) and tell him that one day he's going to be a music genius, join an awesome band, win a lot of prestigious awards and have a really great fan (that would be me). So in return he'd make songs with me in their lyrics, people would be asking, "Who the hell is Igniz? Matt keeps mentioning his name!" and he'd say, "My muse".

3. I would tell Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and George Bush that they're going to suck. So just go and jump off a cliff or something. Do not waste Earth's oxygen. Oh yes, I'd definitely tell Lady Gaga not to make the 'Alejandro' video clip 'that' way because it freaks me out.

4. I would remind myself not to waste my time and money going to cinema to watch crap movies like...too many.

5. I would kidnap the 8-year-old Stephenie Meyer and tell her thousands of times that vampires don't sparkle under the sunlight. They burn! And werewolves are supposed to be half-man half-wolf, not a complete obese wolf!

6. I would reveal all the correct answers for every test and then spend my study time playing. (Don't tell me you didn't see this one coming.)

7. I would help myself choose which queue I should take at the ATM machine because so far the one that I've taken has always been the longest one (duration wise).

Well, it'll take about 88 years if I want to list down everything. So let's make do with these seven for the moment, alright? So, what about you? What do you have in mind?

Let Us All Become Racist

2010-09-05T20:46:00.003+08:00

I'm tired of hearing things about racism. I'm bored with being one of those people who got stuck in the middle of a war of words between one race and another. I am fed up. So just to make things a lot easier to comprehend and stop this 'I'm not racist but you are' nonsense, I decided to have these ideas of mine written and published. Let us all become racist.

Haven't you realized the exact reason why racist statements and acts become so sensitive in our country? It is because only a small amount of us can be considered racist while the rest is neutral. So when somebody mentions about the spirit of 'me' instead of 'us', everyone gets excited. But. Imagine if every single one of us is being racist, will racism be a problem? Ah Beng says, "I hate Malays!" and Samad replies, "Yeah, I know that. We know we hate each other, so what's the big deal?". Nobody is going to make a fuss when it's only normal for one to become racist, yeah? So again, I think we should all become racist. We should all hate each other.

However, in order to make this plan work and become a REAL racist, you need to do these following things:-

1. Do not EVER eat food that is not made by your own kind. If you're a Malay, do not consume 'roti canai', 'kuey teow' or spaghetti. Vice versa.

2. Do not EVER go to any sort of places that portrays the life of other races (including the sound of them!). If you're a Malay, do not go to Masjid India, Chinatown or Low Yat. Don't even travel to other countries! Vice versa.

3. Do not EVER idolize anybody who hasn't got the same skin. If you're a Malay, do not make Jackie Chan, Johnny Depp or even J.J Fernandez (the Hitz.fm radio announcer) as one of your idols. Vice versa.

4. Do not EVER watch any movie that includes people who don't speak your language in one way or the other. If you're a Malay, do not watch....anything. Vice versa. Maybe.

5. Do not EVER flirt with any hot girl you meet or see if she is not from the same race. If you're a Malay, do not fall in love with Marion Caunter, Aishwarya Rai or Kate Beckinsale. Vice versa.

6. Do not EVER learn about other languages. Do not expose yourself to a second language like Mandarin, Japanese or English. Do not speak, read or get involved with them no matter what. (You do realize that this is written in English, yes?) Vice versa.

And so many more don'ts...

So, think you can do all these things? Of course you can if you truly are racist, right? But if you find it hard to do all of the above, instead of humiliating yourself by being a poser, I suggest you do number seven.

7. Don't EVER become racist. Don't even try, at all.

p/s: Still, I know everyone is being racist in a very little way. But don't fight it. Just make sure that amount stays and never grows up. Chinese girls are hot and Indian boys are great sprinters.

This Is For You, Little Kid...

2010-08-28T01:30:00.004+08:00

I used to know a girl virtually via a famous social network called Facebook™. Well this girl was so nice, friendly, a happy-go-lucky type of person, mixed (Chinese and Malay)...and obviously cute. A lot of people liked her. Most of us (in the friend list) had never met her in person. So maybe she wasn't real, maybe she was using a fake identity, maybe she was using someone else's pictures. Maybe. Who knows? I don't care. But the fact that she entertained loads of people by her status updates is something I will not forget.

But one day she decided to disappear...and she really did wiithout even saying goodbye. So this is her story before she was gone, from my point of view.

She lost her parents when she was really young. She was since raised by her brother in Australia until she reached 22. Then she was sent back to Malaysia to stay with her relatives. At first she grumbled about it, trying to get used with the weather and the 'foreign' culture. But not for long. Little did she know, she was slowly becoming 'more' Malaysian than we all were. Yes, she started to fall in love with Malaysia, the people, and the food. Especially the food. She said, "For some reasons, I love Malaysia more than Australia. Aussie is great especially for holidays, but Malaysia is a lot warmer."

It didn’t take her long to start studying about Malaysian cultures with her uncle. She learned about the history and everything. Not perfect, though, but she was getting better. Like I said, she was even better than most of us. Of course, she wanted to make some new friends other than those she knew at one of the local universities in Kuala Lumpur. So she made a Facebook™ account. She added a lot of people recommended by the website, and one fine day, she added me.

I realized that she frequently updated her status and in every single one of them she would get at least 30-50 comments (if not hundreds) from her friends. Most of them were males, of course. I even made an 'observation' one time in which I found out that the fastest comment she would get after her latest update appeared in the news feed was 11 seconds! And she responded to all of them. Her fine display of friendliness encouraged more and more people to drop by at her page.

Before I knew it, I was already 'sucked' into her little 'forum' and managed to get to know a lot more people through her. Her unusual amount of status updates and hundreds of comments gave me ideas to write, or at the very least, reasons to stay online.

She loved riddles so much. In fact, there were times when we used to play riddles every night through Yahoo™ Messenger, with me being the one who asked while she answered. It lasted for a few weeks before I finally ran out of riddles. It was fun.

She was always happy and smiling. I had never seen her in any sort of emotional states: anger, pissed and whatnot. The part that I will always remember is that she was really joyful, and I called her 'Little Kid' for that matter. She had the power to attract people to gather around her by just smiling and laughing. And that girl, her status updates and her hundreds of comments posted by her 'fans' inspired me in many ways. She amazed me.

But one day her beloved aunt (the one she stayed with) passed away and due to some promises made before she died, this girl deactivated all accounts she had and was eventually gone. Never heard of her since. Her hot cousin (she's really hot) told me that she has gone back to Australia. I'm not sure if it's for good.

There are still some features about this friend of mine I would love to describe but it would be too long. So the only thing I can say at this moment is...she was a great person to know. I mean, she was raised in another country with a totally different culture from what we have here. She could be different and could have stayed different. She could be wild. But she chose to learn about us, and become one of us. She wanted to become a real Malaysian, not by names and regulations.

Now please tell me, will you do the same if you were in her shoes? Well, you know you.

Whatever it is, I sure hope she'll be back someday. In the meantime, while August 31st is catching up really soon, just so you know, you're one true Malaysian I've luckily known and I'm so proud of you, Little Kid. Wherever you are, Happy Independence Day.

p/s: Since this story is written from my own point of view, there might be some inaccuracies that differ from the actual details or events. I only got to know her for a few months.

The Price A Woman Should Never Pay

2010-08-02T17:50:00.005+08:00

It's an obvious fact that women are so sacred that no man should ever lay a grievious finger on them. They are created to raise and to be raised, to lead and to be led, to love and to be loved. As what a mother does for her child and what a wife feels for her husband, that is exactly what a man should give to a woman in return.

But of course, as humans are made full of flaws and weaknesses, we don't simply understand this rule just like that. So we make a mistake or two towards each other. As well as men do against women, it's normal. Mistakes exist for one reason, and that is to be learned. Just learn and grow better. But...even a mistake has its limit.

So one day I happened to read this one heart-rending story of a woman, and it struck me with the utmost level of sadness and anger. This was not and never taught by any religion or school or mother and father, so where the f**k did they learn to give this devilish treatment from?

The Plight Of Afghan Women: A Disturbing Picture

This woman on the cover was punished with cruelty and pain just because she did something so normal; to run from misery. She had a bunch of abusive motherf**kers, so called in-laws, and after getting caught for running away, she was held down by the brother-in-law while her very own husband took the 'honour' to slice off her ears, and then her nose. Now my heart is telling me that ain't the right way to treat a woman, or any other humans even!

Imagine if this sick attitude is given out towards our mothers and sisters, would we feel alright? Would we feel okay with it and close our eyes and let it be? Hey, I'm not talking about what's right and what's not. If you're reading this, that only proves you've grown big enough to understand and decide for your own. I'm just asking. I'm just telling.

Life is full of possibilities, and life too, is full of stupidities.

p/s: I got this story from a rebellious friend of mine, Syafiq. As he always posted 'rebellious' entries on his Facebook page, it took me by surprise that one day he mentioned something that the goverment wouldn't mind. Haha. Joking.

Life Is An Essay

2010-07-14T11:17:00.005+08:00

In every beginning of an essay there exists one 'hook', or more, to be first made as the gist of an introduction. It can be a question to answer, a statement to ponder, a story to tell or simply, a fact to argue. Based on one of these hooks, the writer elaborates the next step, the content to be exact, and makes it a meaningful reading material. In real life, we all begin with a hook, too.

Then the idea is extracted, one by one, to be developed into a handful of informative and constructive messages. Each one of them shall be portrayed by a significant event or circumstance, in words, then get visualized by the imagination of the creator and the reader.

Soon, there might be some grammatical mistakes, purposely done as a slang or any sort of informality, or perhaps an honest mistake, an error which is so tiny that it will not be recognized as threatening or misleading. As long as the message gets through, everyone is happy. But sometimes, the mistakes get done in a bigger scale and more often, thus they lead to misunderstanding. However, this is not the end of the road. There is still a long way to go before the final dot hits the mark, so just wait and see how it goes. That is what we all are doing, really.

So a beautiful metaphor gets added afterward to unleash the desirable 'flavour', and some personifications to bring the concept to life, to make it real and conceivable, or perhaps certain abstract imagery as an identical background behind those words of truth, or maybe lies. The purpose is one and only; a weak but essential distraction. Not too much to make it crowded and less engaging, yet not too little to make it shapeless and wandering. Just adequately enough, is not it?

Finally, here comes the conclusion; the most important part in all types of writing, if you want to leave an impact. Some would leave it hanging with thousands of possibilities limited only by the reader's fantasy, and some would want to put a definite stop, nothing but the same and exact ending they would love to have. It can be a comedy or tragedy, and it can be satisfying or disappointing. Nevertheless, no matter how arguable an epilogue can or should be, it is the writer and the writer alone who has the power to include or exclude anything or anybody while coming up with the best possible ending, before going on with the next piece of writing.

Now, ain't it special? The point is a brilliant crystal that you can see right through it in the blink of an eye, that the writers control their way of writing as same as we control our own life. So regardless how other people react with your decision, by all means, decide your own ending.

The Great Lies

2010-06-19T20:37:00.003+08:00

Some people lie in order to teach a certain person a lesson. Some people lie because they don't want to hurt someone's feeling. Some people lie just for the sake of having fun. But, however good or bad the reason they produce along those procedures of lying, it is still portrayed as an act of trying to achieve a specific interest or goal by telling something that is not true.

I have lied hundreds of times and I'm sure you have too. But on the other side of the story, I too, have been fooled by a few lies told by those people around me. But today I'm not going to preach and demand all of you to stop lying and be honest from now on. I'm just going to share with you people some lies which I was told about, as well as the ones I myself had come up with, and the consequences I had experienced from them. Have fun reading.

The ones used to fool me:

1. I was once told that...

The orange-coloured sky that appeared during sunset was very dangerous and could make me sick and die. Because of that, every evening I would rush home as fast as I could before dusk and got panicked if any part of my body was exposed to the orange light. I thought I was going to die. Obviously, the person who told me that (my late father) just wanted me home before dark.

2. I was once told that...

If a freezer or refrigerator was not closed properly, it would explode. So I had a day of guilty and discomfort when I forgot to close an ice-cream freezer at a shop and just realized about it after I got home. I thought lots of people were going to die in the explosion and wanted to turn back in order to close it, but was too afraid that it might explode the moment I reached there. My brother told me that just to make sure I'd use the refrigerator in the right way.

3. I was once told that...

Clipping my nails at night would bring in ghosts to the house. So there was once I had my nails clipped at somewhere before eight o' clock ( I always assumed that it was not yet considered 'night' until eight, but later was told that 'night' started at seven). Well, I don't have to tell you how I felt after I learned that, do I? Only then I knew that my mom just didn't want me to accidentally cut my fingers because of the dark.

The ones I used to fool someone else:

1. I once told...

A six-year old boy who was showing off his ability to spell words and read a book fluently. So one time I came up with a high-level word (to him), 'PROFESIONAL' (English spelling - 'PROFESSIONAL') and he couldn't spell the 'PRO' part. So I told him, "'PRO' is pronounced as 'NYA'" and he believed me. So he pronounced 'PROFESIONAL' as 'NYAFESIONAL' and he was proud of it. I'm sure he'd be a laughing stock when he bragged about the new 'word' he learned at class. Heh.

2. I once told...

My nephew that eating spicy food would make him stronger. So everyday he would call me and as what a normal boy would usual do, show off. He'd say "Look, I'm stronger now!" (and pose like a body builder) after he swallowed a super tiny bite of chilly paste, with teary eyes. The only reason why I told him that lie was...well, I just wanted him to suffer a lil' bit. Heh.

3. I once told...

My students (during practicum) that I had a twin who worked as an actor at Istana Budaya. The purpose was to get my revenge after they fooled me using the same lie. Of course I was so good a liar that they believed me (they were impressed to be exact!). But after I told them the truth and had a laugh, they never wanted to believe me again, especially when I said the female student who just smiled at me was my niece (I was telling the truth). They claimed she was a scandal. Huh.

GOD'S GREATEST INVENTION

2010-06-11T22:56:00.005+08:00

Dreams do come true
When she walks amazingly towards you
From the hardest miles and ways
She'll put a smile in your days
How can you not love her?

She's like hidden words in an anagram
Don't just stare but look at them
You'll create a world full of letters
So many tasks but you'll come first
I can't see how you refuse her

She makes beautiful faces
She resonates wonderful voices
You'll shine brighter than the sun
Yet your life has only just begun
Nah, I still can't imagine you'll ever leave her

Yes, she brings you tears
Makes you live with some fears
She doesn't complete your puzzles
She won't hand you dry towels
But how can you ignore her?

Ah, and sometimes she gives you headaches
Doesn't put in chocolates into your favourite cakes
She'll speak in riddles and make you whine
She'll sing sad songs and ruin your cloud nine
And will you not blame her?

She wakes you up at twelve at night
She cries and pains over her little fright
You'll sing lullabies and put a spell
She'll be asleep with a baby smell
Will you not smile looking at her?

You'll feel blue when the sky crumbles
You'll need love when you see troubles
There she finds the colours that suit you best
She's a hero who takes care of the rest
Just how can you live without her?

There's a reason behind her existence
Someday you'll see her lovely presence
She's to love and to be loved dearly
Cause' you're the door and she's 'Open Sesame'
Can both exist without both?

p/s: Mothers, sisters, wives, friends and lovers, either one or all of them, women are God's greatest invention. I salute.

This Is Me Being Awkward

2010-05-27T23:04:00.005+08:00

At the age of six, I could wink an eye
I chose a girl, or maybe two, or maybe more
To see who'd respond, I winked the eye
One got caught and she wanted to like me
But on the first day of primary school I fell in the mud
She saw me crying, and I just don't know what the hell happened
She was gone afterward and never be heard of

At the age of eleven, I thought I was ready
My friends and I made a deal
"Let's write a letter to any girl you know and see what happens"
I did and he wrote one too
But he failed while I succeeded
That girl responded well and accepted my love
Together for two years, and so we separated

At the age of fourteen, I knew a girl of my ex-class
She told a friend that she liked me, I told that friend I liked her too
Didn't know what to do and we ended up together
We were too shy so didn't speak much
The only words of hers I remember, "You've gone taller"
Just had my first wet dream on those days, yeah I was taller
Too bad we were too shy so we broke up

At the of age sixteen, I fell in love again
This time was real, I felt like a grown-up
We liked each other but she wanted to wait
SPM was getting closer so I said I'd wait
Then she knew a man and I was just a boy
But that man was great she was taken care of well
Better without me, so I left a changed man

At the age of eighteen, I got involved again
As a changed man I didn't want to wait
After just two weeks we tied the knot
After just three months we hit the wall
Told her I should leave for a better reason
She heard it like "for a better person"
She moved on fast, but I caught up later, just not with her

At the age of twenty-one, I met an angel
The best of I had had, and even older
She was close with her mom, and my mom too
Off to Cameron Highland, my mom'd ask for her more than she'd for me
But life ain't that free, things worked differently
She gave me coffee, I didn't have the coffee-mate
I had the shoes, she hadn't the shoelace, and the end of story

This is not a poem.

p/s: Okay, like usual, I never feel good writing about my love life. But when I do, that means I was inspired not too long before. Do check this and this out if you want to find out more!

I Have A Mind That Never Stops Thinking

2010-05-25T21:56:00.003+08:00

My mind is like someone else and not attached as a part of me. I can't control it. It speaks for itself. It thinks and stops whenever it wants, and doesn't really care about what I want to say. It does things by its own rules and sometimes it troubles me. But thank God, it never betrays me.

When I'm working, it can suddenly think of something else and make me stray away from what I'm supposed to do. When I don't want to work, it gives ideas and makes me want to stay and keep doing what I'm supposed to do. When I'm watching a movie, it reminds me of another movie. It jolts my brain into thinking and imagining things while my eyes are still on the screen. When I'm reading or listening, it pulls me into a world where reality doesn't exist and the ending of it is determined by however I want it to be.

When I see a very tall building, my mind speaks, "If you were falling from the top of that building, you could actually finish singing a song before you hit the ground."

When I see an intelligent-looking person, my mind says, "Light is faster than sound. So sometimes people look intelligent until you hear them speak."

When somebody is giving me an advice, my mind whispers, "Hey, look at that cat lying on the floor. I think it just farted!"

When a friend of mine is sharing a problem and wants me to listen, my mind suggests, "Tell him that you're a superhero and can solve everything!"

When I sit silently on the train every morning, my mind asks, "Look at those people. Can you think of something to write about later on?"

When my eyes want to sleep during the night, my mind wakes me up and thinks, "Your life would be fun if you speak like this, do like that and blah blah blah."

When my mom needs my help doing the house chores, my mind persuades, "Every mom wants the best for her children, therefore if you say you're busy doing your work, she will not complain. Heheh. "

And when I feel like taking drugs, smoking or drinking, my mind threatens, "You do that, and you're going to lose me."

I love my mind. However good or bad my mind is, it leads me to where I belong. To where I am now. So that's why I made a promise that no matter what happens, I will never do something that makes me lose my mind. So should you.

Seven Things You Don't Expect To Happen In The Morning

2010-05-08T07:02:00.005+08:00

They say morning is the door that leads to so many great things in your days. When you wake up early in the morning, something good is ready to happen and you're so lucky not to miss it because you're awake! But I wonder how your day is going to be if you morning starts with...

1. Getting hit in the head by a mysterious cupboard from the sky.

Instead of getting amazed by the bluest sky you're staring at during your earliest hour, you get knocked down by a big brownish thing you thought was a bird or something. Well, maybe it really was a bird, not a cupboard. Cupboards don't fly, do they? Maybe it was just a huge square-shaped bird which happened to fly vertically, towards you. Anything is possible nowadays.

2. Throwing away your favourite pet's dead body.

Oh no! Oh shit! Oh my God! Well, those could be some of the words you might pronounce clearly when that happens. They could be. Seeing your cat or dog or iguana or cockroach (for God's sake) dies right in front of your sleepy and blurry eyes won't be that encouraging, eh? What to do, death knocks whenever 'he' wants.

3. Eating the spiciest curry in the world, accidentally.

I say it hurts. Your stomach hurts, your eyes tear, your heart burns, your patience's gone and your toilet's a hero. And the best part of all, your plan's cancelled! If you can still make it after all those shits you have gone through (literally), damn you deserve a medal. I don't think normal people can hang around happily with a diaper stuck around their asses. But you could prove me wrong.

4. Having breakfast with Mahatma Gandhi, Alexander Graham Bell and Albert Einstein.

I'm sure this is going to be awkward. I mean, three of the greatest guys in the history of mankind are sitting at your table eating omelets with you! One talks about how to make the world a better place, another asks questions about Nokia, Sony Ericsson and Motorola because he never heard of them, and the last one calculates the angles of your weird looking face and tries to come up with a solution. Nice.

5. Being stared by the ghost from yesterday, literally.

Last night you were alone and feeling scared, and turned out the ghost you saw in the movie was real and kept staring at you from one corner of your bed. You were so frightened until you fell asleep. Today early in the morning you wake up and smile, thinking that it was just a nightmare. Only to realize that the ghost is still there, staring at you and then 'she' says, "I'm no vampire. I'm not afraid of the sun". Who could expect that?

6. Getting a hard slap right in your face, mistakenly.

You're stretching outside and trying to inhale the cool air of the morning. But all of a sudden an angry neighbour walks towards you and give your face a powerful slap. "You were the one who scratched my car! You f*****g piece of shit!" he screams. Then his daughter comes to stop him, saying, "No dad! Not him! The other neighbour!" Both of them apologize and leave you there dumbfounded. What a way to start a day.

7. Being flooded by the rain of money, literally.

You are still sleeping but your ears hear a sound on the roof. Your first thought was, "It's the rain". But it becomes weirder. You can't stand it and go out to see what's happening. It's raining cash outside! There are some $10 notes falling from the sky, $50 a little bit more and $100, occasionally. Once in every 30 minutes, a $1000 note hits your face. The phenomenon lasts until 10.30 a.m.

Quotation Is Good, But That's Not You

2010-04-30T21:51:00.004+08:00

Honestly, this topic has been in my mind for so long. During my primary up to secondary years, during the debate competitions, public speaking, group presentations, and then college life, micro teaching and like, another 88,000 occasions that I care not to mention. Seriously.

Quotations, quotations and quotations. Generally speaking, the habit of using quotations from other individuals, especially the famous ones, is not wrong. From one point of view, it's actually good. Because it proves that you have been reading. It proves that you are aware of the surroundings. It proves that you are well-prepared for discussing or elaborating whatever topic you have in your hands. In short, I can say that quoting words from anybody you look up to is not even bad at all!

But one thing that I'm worried about, and sometimes pissed off with, is when people tend to rely too much on quotations. It's like in their very own brain, there's nothing more but quotations memorized from their entire lives! At this moment, all that I can say is, what the hell is wrong with you people? Come on, there must be other reasons why God gives you a brain other than memorizing words you heard. Can I name one? It's called 'think'.

Look, not all situations that involve you must be debated, or argued, or discussed seriously, that need you to study and learn about. It's not always necessary for you to search the Wikipedia and 'copy' every single sentence. Because most of the time, the thing that really matters is how you feel. I'm not saying that you should speak based on your feelings, ONLY, and ignore all the facts. That would be wrong. It's just that, don't make everything too formal. Sometimes it's okay to say something stupid, share your feelings, without any literature review, and just go with it. Because at least you know that those words you just said came straight from your heart. Original and registered.

I want to suggest to you that whenever you hear a person keeps and keeps and keeps on quoting words from people every time he or she talks and fights in order to prove who's right, you ask this, "That's MJ (let's say MJ's words were quoted here by that person), but what about you? I want YOUR words." I really want to see how they will respond. Can they produce their own ideas? And this is exactly my point, fellow readers.

If you rely too much on quotations, one day you're going to have problems expressing your own ideas. You're going to struggle, and there'll be no quotations available to help you. Be careful, my friend. Don't let your habit destroy you own creativity. You don't realize it, but sometimes you produce something even better than those people you quoted. But you don't see it because you're too busy looking up to them. Just stop doing that for a while and start believing in yourself.

Those Little Things That Don't Belong

2010-04-23T21:46:00.003+08:00

I got a few questions I want to ask you guys, and hopefully you can answer 'Yes' at least for one of them. So here we go. How often in a day you spend your time watching people you don't know? How often in a day you spend your time listening to conversations from people you don't know? How often in a day you spend your time reading things you don't want to read? How often in a day you spend you time asking yourself questions you don't want to answer? Oh yeah, obviously you can't answer 'Yes' to these questions, right? I was just messing with you. I happened to write that sentence spontaneously and was too lazy to delete it. Heh, please forgive me. But seriously, how often?

Normally, we're bound to do things we want to do. We don't want to give a care about things unrelated to us. But when the time comes, whether we realize it or not, we have to get involved in situations where we don't belong. And trust me, this kind of situations gives us a lot more reasons to learn and improve.

There was a day at the KTM station where everybody was bored and had to wait for the delayed train patiently. The rain had just stopped. Then, there was this guy who worked there and he diligently swept the rain water off the floor. I was there and realized that while he was sweeping the floor, everybody stared at his activity and was kind of spaced out. EVERYBODY. That included me. But of course, my eyes were more attracted by those staring eyes instead of the floor-sweeping man.

The sound of the activity echoed throughout the station. The way that man did his job seemed to have petrified every soul there and he became the centre of attention. My question at that moment was, "What are their minds thinking while watching that man sweeping?". Well, I'm sure they thought about a lot of things, and that was the beauty of it!

Every little thought that comes across our minds decides the next move we're going to take. It's like a decision. We can say that the thought is spontaneous and doesn't count a penny, but nevertheless, it's our thought. If we don't agree with it, we'll just have to think of a new one. Isn't that us? So, during that moment of 'gazeless' stare, those people including me, had come up with something to ponder which might as well lead to some events in the future. Small or big, that depends on each of us. But we did come up with something.

So my point here is very simple. Every little thing that we do or see everyday actually plays at least a small but significant, if not big and important, part of our lives. In fact, they provide a lot more options for us to consider since they aren't restricted to our wanting-for-something nature. It's simply because they are born out of nowhere and we don't even plan for them. They start from those little things that don't belong.

Promises

2010-04-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

In a typical Malay living room where the mother was busy arranging the magazines on the table while the son was resting on the sofa and reading the newspaper. The radio was playing an old Malay song from the 60’s. She seemed to be enjoying the melody as a young woman entered the room with a luggage a few seconds later. The woman turned off the radio.

AISYA
Mom, I’m gonna have to go to Sarawak for a week. Got a few things to settle there. Can you feed Jesse in the meantime? I left him in my house.

MOTHER
Sure.

AISYA
Thanks! Give him his food three times; morning, afternoon and evening, and please make sure that he’s out of the house early in the morning after he has eaten, and then put him back inside by noon for his lunch, and then he’s out again until evening. Make sure he’s inside the house at night, okay?

MOTHER
Okay.

AISYA
And please don’t ask Agus to do this. He’s too lazy. I don’t think he will do it exactly the way I want. He’ll just throw the food, and forget everything else.

AGUS
I can hear you, sis. (his eyes were still on the newspaper)

MOTHER
Okay.

AISYA
Thanks, mom! Bye.

Aisya left the house instantly. The mother turned on the radio again and then continued dealing with the magazines. Agus yawned, and then he put the newspaper on the table. He looked at his mother for a while, and immediately went into his room afterwards. At the same time, a man entered the house.

AMRI
Why do I always have to give him money?? Ask him to find a job, lah! He has finished his studies, right? (he sat down)

MOTHER
Yes.

AMRI
Then what is he waiting for? He should be working already! (checking his wallet) Here, 50 ringgit. This should at least last for a week. But I don’t know what he has been eating, it always lasted for only two or three days! Is he pregnant or what? Ask him to control himself! And get a job!

MOTHER
....... (taking the money)

AMRI
I just don’t know for how long he’s gonna waste his time and our money! What good in studying at university but then doing nothing?

MOTHER
Let him rest for a while...

AMRI
It has been more than one month already! How long is he gonna rest? A year? Such a waste of time! At least he can do something in the meantime! Part-time job or something. Make his own pocket money.

MOTHER
Hmm...

Amri stood up and was about to go out when Agus came out of his room. They exchanged some agitated expressions and then ignored each other.

AGUS
Why did he look so angry? Did he give you the money? Is it because of that?

MOTHER
Here.

AGUS
He gave 56 ringgit?

MOTHER
No. I add 6 ringgit. Try to save some.

AGUS
You tell me how.

Agus went out and left his mother alone. A minute later, another man walked into the house.

ADAM
What’s wrong with Agus, mom? I mean, what’s he gonna be? (he sat down and reached for the newspaper)

MOTHER
Give him time, lah...

ADAM
Until when?

MOTHER
Maybe he has something else to finish...

ADAM
What’s there to finish? He’s always in his room, sitting in front of his computer. What else could he be doing? Watching movies, listening to songs, and sleeping. Then when he wakes up, he asks for food, and money, and goes out.

MOTHER
He’s not always out...only once in a while.

ADAM
Yeah, but when he does, he will ask for money and act like he’s from a rich family! Just look at what he’s wearing, all those branded clothes! Don’t make me start talking about his food. KFC and McDonalds!

MOTHER
You too...

ADAM
Well I have a job. I make my own money. Last night I ate at Pizza Hut’s, and the day before I went to a buffet. I didn’t ask money from anyone else. I used my own money.

MOTHER
......

ADAM
Anyway, when he’s back, tell him to find a job!

Adam went out. The mother sat on the sofa and sighed. She looked up to the wall and wandered into the blank space. She finally fell asleep. About half an hour later, Agus came home and woke her up.

AGUS
Mom, here’s your food. Nasi briyani with some lauk. (putting it on the table)

MOTHER
Why do you always have to buy this? You should save the money or else your brother’s gonna get you.

AGUS
Have you eaten? (he sat down)

MOTHER
No.

AGUS
Did you make anything for you to eat?

MOTHER
Don’t have anything to cook.

AGUS
What, I should save the money and let you starve? I ate rojak just now, (burped) and you don’t eat anything? No, no, no...you get to eat, and I don’t care about what my brother’s gonna say.

MOTHER
Amri will get angry.

AGUS
I don’t care lah.

The phone rang. The mother went and picked it up. It was Aisya.

AISYA
Hello mom. Just reminding, don’t forget to give Jesse his lunch, okay?

MOTHER
Okay.

AISYA
Great! Thanks, mom! Bye.

AGUS
So...she always calls you three times a day every time she goes out of town, kan?

MOTHER
Yes.

AGUS
And she only asks about her cat, whether he has eaten or not, right?

MOTHER
Yes...

AGUS
(paused) Mom, can you wait for a while? I’m waiting for my term paper’s result, just to make sure everything’s fine. I promise I’ll start looking for a job right after that. I know I’ve been such a pain. I always trouble you. I always ask for this and that. But all those are gonna stop. I’ll give you money. I won’t count it. I’ll buy you food. And if I’m away for work, I’ll call you, and ask whether or not you have eaten. Just wait a little longer. Just wait. Please.

MOTHER
........

AGUS
........

MOTHER
How much did you pay for your rojak? (she opened up her nasi briyani)

AGUS
3 ringgit je.

MOTHER
This? With so many lauk?

AGUS
8 ringgit.

MOTHER
(she paused and smiled) Next time just buy me a rojak.

THE END

It's Always Okay Even When It's Not

2010-04-10T16:16:00.006+08:00

I had a talk with a friend of mine just now. I told her that I needed some opinions or ideas for my blog, since my brain has been refusing to produce some for quite a time. It turned out that we happened to talk about our favourite words, and both struggled to produce one (and this only proved that thinking about what we love is always harder than about what we hate). Haha. But she finally told me that the word 'okay' is one of her favourites. That gave me some ideas to write about. So here we go.

To produce feelings such as love, hatred, excitement, laziness and whatever, you name it, is an easy task. Most of the times, it happens naturally. But to respond to these feelings isn't going to be easy. We need to think before we do it. If we suddenly feel something about anything or anybody, we'll think if it's actually true. If someone says to us "Hey I love you" or "Damn I hate you", we don't simply say "Yeah, me too!". We'll think. And we'll think before we think. We'll do that and only then we respond.

However, despite having this thinking habit, we tend to submit ourselves to simple acceptance or ignorance, whether we like it or not. And the word 'okay' is the core to show the level of our feeling related to the response we produce. Don't believe me? Well, you're allowed to disagree. But please, keep reading.

'Okay' is always produced together with like, 88,000 intonations, and in fact I believe this word is definitely one of the most pronounced words in the whole world. It doesn't matter if each of us here speaks in different languages because everybody uses and understands this word, and its definition is universally understood (even though I still wonder why 'okay' and not 'ojay' or 'olay' or some other pronunciations).

When we accept a situation, we use 'okay' to show we're happy with it. For instance, "Okay, I accept that", "Okay, that is great!" and "Okay, I forgive you". If we don't want to accept it, we'll still use 'okay', but to show that we're trying to ignore it and just move on. Like, "Okay, whatever!", "Okay, your loss", and "Okay, fine!" Little do we know that in these short sentences there lies a hidden meaning that says, "I'm not happy, but I'm okay with it."

So my point here is very simple, and I'm going to put it in a form of a question. Do we realize that God loves us so much that He gives us a brain to produce such a word that reminds us that even in sadness, disappointment & complete darkness, we can still believe everything will end up alright? He loves us so dearly and wants us to know that there's still hope and we will be okay; in however way He decides.

Angles

2010-03-20T21:18:00.005+08:00

Scene One
In a locked room where there were only a table and two chairs, two men were sitting and about to have a conversation, or an interrogation to be exact. There was a big mirror on one of the walls that surrounded the room. The atmosphere was gloomy.

HAFSHAM
Can we start now?

JAZIMAN
Yes.

HAFSHAM
Can I say that you are now ready to tell me the truth? About everything?

JAZIMAN
Yes. Of course.

HAFSHAM
Good. Now please tell me everything you know. Tell me what happened.

JAZIMAN
(taking a deep breath) I saw you walking out of the house about half an hour before it happened. Then, exactly the amount of time later, I saw Jimi. He was standing in front of your house. He stood there about ten minutes, he was like...thinking about something, and then he entered the house.

HAFSHAM
What did you do? Didn’t you feel weird?

JAZIMAN
Yes. I did feel something was not right. He looked a bit anxious. I wasn't sure what was bothering him. So I followed him. I entered your house.

HAFSHAM
Did you knock?

JAZIMAN
I’m sorry. I didn’t. I wanted to know what was happening, so it would alarm him if I knocked.

HAFSHAM
Okay. Continue.

JAZIMAN
I saw Jimi was shouting.

HAFSHAM
Shouting?

JAZIMAN
Yes. He said, “You shouldn’t have messed with me!!”

HAFSHAM
What about my wife? How did she react?

JAZIMAN
She didn’t react.

HAFSHAM
At all? (confused)

JAZIMAN
Yes. Look, you don’t understand.

HAFSHAM
I don’t understand about what?

JAZIMAN
Your wife was already dead when I entered the house. I was too late.

HAFSHAM
What do you mean??

JAZIMAN
He stabbed her.

Scene Two

HAFSHAM
You ready?

ZAKI
Yup.

HAFSHAM
You can start.

ZAKI
Okay. This is what happened, alright? I was walking on the street and then suddenly Jaziman stopped me. He asked about you. Based on your schedule, I told him that you should be on your way to the station at that time.

HAFSHAM
What was the time?

ZAKI
8 o’clock. 8. 05 to be exact.

HAFSHAM
What did he ask?

ZAKI
He wanted me to show him your house. He looked like he was in trouble. So I showed him. Your house was a few blocks away anyway.

HAFSHAM
What did he do at my house?

ZAKI
Well, he entered the house, without knocking. I was shocked at first, but then I decided not to give a damn.

HAFSHAM
So you left?

ZAKI
Not immediately. I played with your cat first. Right in front of the yard. Only then I heard your wife screaming. I think it was your name.

HAFSHAM
What did you think of that?

ZAKI
Well I thought maybe you were still in the house. You were fighting or something. You know, husband and wife, and Jaziman. So I ignored the scream. Continued playing with the cat.

HAFSHAM
That was all?

ZAKI
Nope. I heard another scream after that. This time, she screamed like she was terrified, or in pain. I knocked the door a few times. I called you. I called her. No answer. So I rushed into the house. Just..(paused) barged in.

HAFSHAM
What did you see?

ZAKI
I saw nobody in the living room. She had stopped screaming when I entered the house. So I thought maybe I should go and check the kitchen. I did. And I saw your wife lying on the floor unconscious, while Jaziman was standing in front of her with a hand phone charger in his hand.

HAFSHAM
What did you do when you saw that?

ZAKI
What do you expect? I panicked! I ran! As fast and as far as I could!

HAFSHAM
Did he see you?

ZAKI
I think so. I don’t know.

HAFSHAM
Okay. Thank you.

Scene Three

JIMI
I’m tired of talking about the same thing again and again. Nobody believes me anyway.

HAFSHAM
I do. I mean, I can try to believe you, as long as you are telling me the truth.

JIMI
And how exactly can you tell whether or not I’m telling the truth??

HAFSHAM
Investigations. And I need your version in order to start. Now help me. Please.

JIMI
Okay. As what I have been telling that Malique officer, I went to your house in order to meet you. I was hoping to meet you. I..I wasn’t sure if you were home or what, I just had to try.

HAFSHAM
What for?

JIMI
I needed the money.

HAFSHAM
What money?

JIMI
The money. (waiting for a response) The deal! We had a deal, right? 50/50!

HAFSHAM
I have no idea what deal you are talking about.

JIMI
Ah..now you’re playing innocent, eh? You found the weed, I caught you red-handed dealing with those people, and you offered me half of the prize in exchange for my silence. That deal!

HAFSHAM
Look, Jimi. I told you that I will try to trust you as long as you’re telling me the truth. But now you’re talking about a deal that doesn’t exist and haven’t told me a single damn thing about the murder! I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth!

JIMI
Oh..(laughing) I should have expected this. (continued laughing) Alright. Alright. You want to play this way. Alright. Fine by me. Your wife’s dead, and you suddenly lost your memory, eh? Fine by me. Totaaaaal...lly fine.

HAFSHAM
Let’s continue with the murder then.

JIMI
Like I told them, I was hoping to see you, but you weren’t there at your house. I didn’t see your car. But I did hear a gunshot.

HAFSHAM
A gunshot? And?

JIMI
And I was scared. But that also told me that you might be in the house. After all, you do have a gun, right? You’re a police officer.

HAFSHAM
So you entered the house.

JIMI
Yeah. I even called your name. “Hafsham! Hafsham!”

HAFSHAM
What did you see?

JIMI
I saw Zaki running out of the house, ignoring me with a gun in his hand! And how the hell did he get a gun??

HAFSHAM
What did you do after you saw him running?

JIMI
Since he was from the kitchen, so I thought maybe something had happened in there. So I went in. Turned out I was right. Bang! Your wife. On the floor. Dead. Her head. Blown into pieces. Woohoo..!! (hysterically laughing)

HAFSHAM
Shut up!

JIMI
Tragic, eh? Hahahahaha..! Woohoo!!

HAFSHAM
Shut up!!

JIMI
I will! So what’s next? Where’s my money?

HAFSHAM
I don’t know what money you’re talking about! Now get out of here!

JIMI
You think you can escape, eh? You’re dead wrong! You’re dead wrong on this one!

HAFSHAM
I said get the hell out of here!!

JIMI
Ooooooh...! Hahahahaha..!!!

HAFSHAM
Shut up!! Shut up!!

JIMI
Your wife’s dead! And you’re going down too!!

HAFSHAM
Shut up!!!

Scene Four
A man and a woman came and stood outside the room. They were both staring at the scene in the room through a glass on the wall. From inside, the glass was a mirror.

MALIQUE
He starts screaming again.

HALIZA
‘Again’? (confused)

MALIQUE
Yes. He has done that exactly eight times today. This is the ninth.

HALIZA
What..what exactly happened, inspector?

MALIQUE
I’m afraid, Haliza, that your brother is the one responsible for the murder.

HALIZA
He is?? (shocked)

MALIQUE
Yes. Natasha Binti Naufal. 27 years old. Murdered in her own house, around 8.20 in the morning on 30th September 2009. Found dead by her husband, Hafsham Bin Tajuddin, at 9.25 in the morning, the same day.

HALIZA
How did you know that he was the one?

MALIQUE
The autopsy showed that Natasha was first strangled to death by what we believe, an electrical cord. Evidence, the hand phone charger. She died of suffocation. Then, she was stabbed in her stomach with a sharp object. Evidence, a kitchen knife. Based on the report, this was done about 20 minutes to half an hour after she was strangled.

HALIZA
Oh my God!

MALIQUE
And later after she was stabbed, the murderer again, killed her by blowing her head off with a gunshot. Evidence; we found the gun used for murder.

HALIZA
Oh my..that’s horrible..! He could never do such a thing..!!

MALIQUE
Yes he could, he did it already, and he was not alone.

HALIZA
What do you mean?

MALIQUE
Haliza, during the interrogation, your brother started talking about something weird.

HALIZA
About what?

MALIQUE
Well, he mentioned three names. Jaziman, Zaki, and Jimi.

HALIZA
Who are they?

MALIQUE
They are the ones who killed Natasha. In three different occasions.

HALIZA
What??

MALIQUE
We believe that Jaziman was the one responsible for strangling Natasha to death. Then, followed by Jimi who stabbed her with a knife. And finally, Zaki shot her in the head.

HALIZA
Oh my God..I can’t hear this..!!!

MALIQUE
Haliza.

HALIZA
Yes..?

MALIQUE
These Jaziman, Jimi and Zaki......they are all the same person. They are Hafsham.

HALIZA
What..???

MALIQUE
We have enough evidence that tells us your brother is suffering from what we call, a ‘Multiple Personality Disorder’. We believe that he has been in this state for years, at least.

HALIZA
For years?? But he never acted strangely, or showed any sort of violence!

MALIQUE
Patients with this kind of disorders are not necessarily violent. They might only have a tendency to ‘act’ differently based on the personality they have at the moment. However, they can be violent if there is such a situation where somebody or something dear to them has been jeopardized.

HALIZA
And what kind of situation has my brother been in that those characters managed to gain control over him and kill his wife...three times...?

MALIQUE
Because she threatened him. She told him that she would leave him and tell the authorities about his misconduct.

HALIZA
And what exactly is that?

MALIQUE
Something familiar and very common. (sighed) It’s called bribery.

THE END

Pretence And Pattern

2010-03-12T22:04:00.005+08:00

In the living room, Mom was sitting on a couch with both of her legs on the table. Her hands were busy knitting when Dad entered the house with his eyes furiously looking for something.

DAD
Where the heck is my wallet??

MOM
Where did you put it?

DAD
I put it here on this table, exactly half an hour ago!

MOM
You can’t find it there?

DAD
Yeah, what a great question! If I could find it, then I wouldn’t bother shouting at you and asking, “where the heck is my wallet??”, would I?

MOM
Well, that’s not entirely true. You always shout at people, asking things as if you didn’t know anything about them earlier. You’re exactly like..(thinking) a typical boss of an organization who got confused, then made a bad decision, and then he asked his subordinates, “Now tell me people, how could this happen??”. You know, drama and pretence.

DAD
I cannot believe that I actually allowed you to finish your sentences and did nothing.

MOM
That’s your forte. ‘Did nothing’.

DAD
Other than that meaningless sass, is there anything else that you can say regarding my missing wallet? Someone must have taken it! Come on!

MOM
Even the simplest thing you cannot do. (stopped knitting) Now don’t you dare call yourself the leader of this family. Boy!! Bring your ass in here!!
Boy immediately rushed into the house. He almost fell.

BOY
Yes mom? (Breathing heavily)

MOM
Tell me you didn’t take your dad’s wallet. (continued knitting)

BOY
I didn’t take my dad’s wallet.

DAD
Are you telling the truth or you just repeating her words?

BOY
I’m...repeating her words. The truth is ‘I don’t know’.

DAD
God, you’re a mug. Are you sure you’re telling me the truth? Because I swear I put my wallet here, on this ugly table..(he looked at his wife, disgusted, and immediately pushed her legs off the table) put your legs down lady, 30 minutes ago, and now I can’t find it!

BOY
Yeah.

DAD
(paused) Where were you from, just now?

BOY
Outside, the porch.

DAD
Oh yeah? What were you doing out there?

BOY
Dad, I was helping you cleaning the porch. You were there. You did the digging, and I shined the floor.

MOM
Drama and pretence. (sighed)

DAD
You..you shined the floor. Of course, a mug like you wouldn’t know anything other than shining the floor!!

MOM
Now hold on there. You don’t simply belittle your son. He’s the second you after all.

DAD
Yeah right.

MOM
You know when I said about you being a ‘typical boss’ with those ‘drama and pretence’, I expected you to resent them. But now you’re acting exactly the way I described you.

DAD
Can you just shut up? (thinking) Where’s Girl?

MOM
How the heck should I know? Maybe she’s helping you doing your chores out there. You’re good at asking people for help and forgetting them afterwards.

DAD
I didn’t ask her. I needed someone diligent. She’s not. She’s woman.

BOY
I think I can help you get her.

DAD
Great. At least you're worth something.

BOY
(he took a deep breath, and then...) GIRL!!!!!!!!! DAD WANTS YOU HERE...NOW!!!!!!

DAD
Is...(clearing his throat) is that what you meant by, “I think I can help you get her”...?

BOY
Yeah. Why?

MOM
I change my mind. He’s not the second you. He IS you.

GIRL
What? (came out of her room, irritated)

DAD
Girl, did you take my wallet? I put it here a while ago.

GIRL
Why would I want to take your wallet? It’s always empty.

BOY
She sounds like mom.

DAD
Yeah, I notice that. Well Girl, are you sure? Because it seems that everybody in this house doesn’t know where the hell my wallet has been!!

GIRL
Yeah! I was in my room the whole day!

DAD
Then my wallet must have a leg!

BOY
Um...it’s two...two legs. One leg would be a problem.

DAD
Shut up!

MOM
Are you sure you put your wallet on this table?

DAD
I was looking for an answer from you people, but until now, the only thing that I have been hearing from you is “Are you sure?”. Can’t you produce something else??

MOM
(thinking) Wait a minute. Wait a minute... (stood up)

DAD
Finally! You finally decide to remember something!

MOM
I’m SURE you used the phrase “Are you sure?” more than we did. Like three times or something.

DAD
God!

BOY
Dad’s good at repeating the same thing again and again.

GIRL
Yeah! Thank God he’s not a playwright.

DAD
God! God! God! (annoyed) All you all out of your mind??

MOM
You really need to ask that question to yourself.

DAD
Shut up!

MOM
I’m just saying.

DAD
I’m not going to repeat myself. Shut up!

GIRL
So, do I need to be here, and help you guys investigate this...crime scene?

MOM
I guess so. The court has not been adjourned.

GIRL
Oh come on, mom. I was on the phone. Please..(begging)

MOM
I’m not the corrupt one. He is.

DAD
You wait here until I've settled this. (started moving around and thinking)

GIRL
Then what else are you waiting for? Just dial the number, give it a missed call.

BOY
Missed call..? What are you talking about??

GIRL
The pho...(paused) oh, sorry. I confused it with my own situation.

DAD
Wait, Boy, did you just say ‘missed call’?

BOY
Um..yeah. Actually she did. I was just...

DAD
Owh. (realized something)

BOY
...repeating what she said.

MOM
“Owh.”? What now? You just realized that you were actually on the phone, trying to call your friend while ‘almost-putting’ your wallet on the table, but he didn’t answer, which means you gave him a missed call, and then you tried calling him again, with your wallet was still in your hand, walking towards the cabinet and waiting for him to pick up, and accidentally putting your wallet there? Is that what you meant by, “Owh.”?

DAD
........ (speechless)

MOM
Boy, check the cabinet!
Boy ran towards the cabinet and started searching for the wallet. He checked the books and the spaces between them. Finally...

BOY
I found it! Mom, it’s here! Dad, it’s here! It’s here! (excitedly)

GIRL
You don’t have to be that excited. I was on the phone! (running back into her room)

MOM
And I was happily knitting. (sat down and continued knitting)
Boy returned the wallet to Dad and went out afterwards.

DAD
How did you know that’s what I did?

MOM
Because I have been in this ‘organization’ for years, and I can already see your pattern. Like I said, you’re typical. People like you don’t change. And people like me, I just don’t understand, how come the ones who see the pattern always got ‘sacked’?

DAD
Yeah, yeah. I get your point. I’ll try to change my pattern, does that make you happy?

MOM
Ask me again a minute later.

DAD
Whatever. I’m going out. (headed towards the door and accidentally hit the shovel) Damn!! Who put this shovel on the floor???

MOM
No, I’m not happy! Thank you for asking!

THE END

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 2: Permainan Dahulu Kala

2010-02-20T14:53:00.005+08:00

Sebagai sorang manusia yang membesar dan menjadi ganyut setiap hari, kita tak terelak daripada melupakan aktiviti serta kenangan lama masa muda² dulu. Contohnya cam permainan tradisional ataupun yang direka sendiri. Oleh itu, kat sini saya nak tanya korang satu soalan. Korang ingat lagi tak permainan² yang disebut kat bawah ni? Kalau tak ingat, sila staple kepala masing², okey? (Kecuali la korang berasal dari generasi berlainan dan tak pernah main benda alah camni).

1. Lawan Pemadam

Sediakan satu meja dan dua atau lebih orang pemain. Masing² ada satu pemadam berjenama negara (secara purata 9/10 rakyat Malaysia setuju pemadam Brazil merupakan pemadam yang sangat dahsyat). Sebaik saja permainan bermula, pemain akan tekan pemadam tu menuju ke arah pemadam lawan. Pemadam yang berjaya menindih pemadam lawan dikira pemenang. Kemudian permainan diulangi sampai muntah atau dimarahi cikgu.

2. Lawan Pen

Konsep yang hampir sama dengan Lawan Pemadam. Satu meja diperlukan dan beberapa orang pemain dibenarkan berlawan secara serentak. Cara nak menang mudah jer. Setiap pemain kena jentik pen masing² melanggar pen lawan sehingga la pen diorang tu jatuh. Pen yang berjaya kekal kat atas meja sehingga perlawanan tamat (pen lain habis jatuh semua la) dianggap pemenang. Pen yang digunakan untuk beraksi gak boleh diubahsuai mengikut kreativiti pemain.

3. Rebut Tiang

Lokasi strategik diperlukan untuk permainan ni. Semakin banyak tiang sesuatu tempat tu ada, semakin meriah permainan. Kebiasaannya koridor kat luar kelas ataupun rumah teres satu tingkat menjadi feveret. Camner nak main? Letak kaki masing² pastu kira. Saper yang terpilih jadi 'beruk' tak dibenarkan pilih tiang. Yang lain boleh. Apabila permainan dimulakan, setiap pemain yang memiliki tiang harus la menukar posisi dengan pemain lain, pada masa sama tiang yang ditinggalkan tak dicerobohi 'beruk' tersebut. Kalau kena ceroboh, giliran mangsa ceroboh tu pula jadi 'beruk'. Permainan ni gak menyaksikan ramai pemain ter-kangkang² bergerak dari satu tiang ke tiang yang lain.

4. Bola Sepak Kad Dan Kertas

Potong kad manila jadi saiz kad terup (atau beli jer kad terup apa² jenis) pastu lipat dua. Lipat la sebanyak mana yang korang nak tapi pastikan jumlahnya seimbang untuk ke-dua² pasukan (ya, main bola sepak kena ada dua pasukan). Bila dah selesai buat pasukan, koyakkan secebis kertas lalu komot²-kannya sehingga menjadi 'segumpal' bola kertas yang comel. Mulakan permainan dengan menepuk kad yang dilipat dua tu untuk menendang bola. Ha, jangan lupa buat pintu gol tau.

5. Lompat Getah

Permainan ni memerlukan jumlah gegelung getah yang sangat banyak. Sambungkan gegelung getah tersebut sehingga menjadi seutas tali getah yang panjang. Kemudian buat dua pasukan (kalau tak silap lebih pun boleh). Tugas setiap pasukan ialah melepasi halangan dengan cara melompat ataupun menyangkutkan ke-dua² belah kaki melepasi tali getah tersebut. Oh ya, setiap halangan terdiri daripada pelbagai tahap ketinggian cam tahap lutut, peha, pinggang, dada, bahu, telinga, bulu kening dan akhir sekali, kepala. Dengan bangga saya katakan, saya sangat handal main lompat getah. Nak lawan? :P

Jadi, kesimpulannya semua ni merupakan hasil kreativiti kanak² generasi terdahulu sebelum munculnya permainan maya cam Playstation, komputer dan sebagainya. Bagi la apa pun, dengan mudah diorang akan jadikannya sebagai permainan. Setuju?

p/s: Apa lagi ek permainan lain yang direka sendiri?

People Don't Change, But.

2010-02-18T08:59:00.004+08:00

The phrase "I want to..." is the best motivation one can have. I always believe that. Because it shows that our conscience is starting to play its role and tell us what is supposed to be done, or not done. It leads us to a whole new level. However, in certain matters, "I want to..." doesn't mean a shit.

Let's take the phrase "I want to change" as an example. Yes, it's so famous that almost every living soul that breathes on this Earth and can speak a language has produced it once, at the very least. But, saying "I want to change" doesn't necessarily mean you will change, right? So in this case, "I want to..." is just a decoration to make you feel better.

I say that people can never change. I say that people will never change. I say that you are just as same as how you were ten or twenty years ago. Agree? Hold your phone! Allow me to justify my point.

I'm not saying that if you were once a thief, murderer or psychopath, you can't change that and will remain the same now or in the future. Nope, everybody deserves a second chance. Everybody deserves to try and improve themselves. There's nothing wrong in that.

My point is, people can only change what they do; to stop doing or to continue. If you're a thief and want to change, you will stop stealing things. If you don't want to change, you will continue doing it. But the fact that you were a thief back then remains. However different you claim you are now, your instinct and desire to steal remains; but hidden and asleep. That's it.

In easy words, when people say that they have changed, that is not entirely true. They are still the same person. They still got the same instinct, desire or habit, whatever you call it. The only difference is, they have stopped doing all those things they used to do. They have thrown away the trigger.

So question; who has the trigger now? The surrounding people. And we are the surrounding people. We have the trigger and it is up to us whether or not to pull it. If we do, then everything will be the same again, they will become the old ones once more, and we are assholes.

Those bad people who want to change, they have entrusted us with the trigger. Do not pull it. Do not wake them up. Do not make them take the same road again.

p/s: For some reasons that I can't explain, I think I'm being an asshole at the moment. Maybe because it's hard to see other people change while I don't. I don't know. I keep pulling the trigger. I'm sorry, though. I'm still learning.

Reasons (Not) To Fight

2010-02-11T21:01:00.002+08:00

There's a reason why humans fight everyday no matter how big or small the thing is. That reason is called 'human nature'. Yes, whatever we humans do, there is always an excuse for everything. It's not entirely wrong, though. Like I said, it is our nature. However, when we look at the funny side of it, it is worth a laugh.

We normally fight for trivial things; those are not really significant or going to have any effect on our lives. But with a good reason, we gladly agree to disagree, so to speak. Here I list four of them:

1. Parking space

Have you ever been to a shopping complex during weekends? Sure you have. And obviously every hour on Saturday or Sunday is the peak hour. Parking's full, so you have to go and move around in your car, looking for a space to rest you mini Volkswagen or modified Kancil. If you fail to get one, you wait for some good Samaritans to go out and save your day. But, if another car interferes and takes your supposed-to-be parking space all of a sudden, like that Persian character in '300' movie you say, "This is madness!" Congratulations, you just won yourself a reason to fight.

2. Football club

This is my favorite. We're not the ones who play the game, and obviously we're not the ones who manage any of those teams that get involved in the football league (EPL, La Liga, TM Malaysia Super League, you name it). But just because we have a preferred team and support it to the grave, we hail it like no one cares. Seriously, people fight for this reason as if by doing so the table will turn. I'm one of them (but not a hardcore one). I read the statistics first. Glory! Glory! Oops.

3. Famous people

Oh yeah, this case is almost the same as the previous one. Don't we realize it? Paris Hilton won't be bothered even if fans spend years debating over who is smarter; the songstress or her Chihuahua. Fasha Sandha's bank account won't get empty even if a third world war (figuratively speaking) begins and originally caused by her fans and not-so fans in Facebook. Well, you get the point and no offense intended.

4. Sales and discounts

Boys don't look at girls, and girls don't stare back at boys who look at them. Both are equally guilty as charged. Everybody loves items tagged with sale prices. Everybody fights for it. "I'm sorry, I saw this one first!" and "Yes, you saw it first but I held it earlier!" Let's bring it to the court and decide who gets custody of it, shall we? Na'ah.

Stop Missing A Person Who Doesn't Miss You Back

2010-02-05T21:37:00.004+08:00

I can still remember the day when I told my friend about my feeling towards a girl. The case was quite complicated and until now I can't really tell what went wrong. The only thing I'm very sure of is, me and her were having a mutual feeling for each other, but we didn't manage to declare anything and she got snatched right away. So, instead of moving on together, we moved on separately.

Back to the part where I told my friend about what I just told you, he responded in a very ignorant way, but amazingly with a clear point. I told him, "It's really hard to forget all the moments spent together, and I still can't believe that I missed the chance by an inch of hesitation." He said, "Why do you want to suffer alone here while she enjoys her day with her boyfriend there?"

Seriously, that friend of mine had been needing my help (some sorts of honest opinions and stuff) from me for years, but on that miracle day, he turned things around and provided me with one. Yes, what he said totally made sense (even though he admitted that it was accidental). So I guess everyone needs help, eh?

Since then I started to see the world from a different point of view. Of course I got on and off with a few more relationships (actually it was only twice in 5 years if I did my Maths correctly) later on, but the feeling of losing someone dear didn't hurt me as much as before.

I always told myself and those who sought for my opinions, "Do not try to forget the ones you've lost, because you will never succeed. If they could give you such an impact, what makes you think you could forget them in the future? Instead, allow yourself to think of them and remember all the things you've done together. Do not fight it. If you want to miss or call or cry, let it be. Because one day you will stop. And when you stop, it's not because you have succeeded forgetting them, but you've actually managed to accept life and live without them."

So when I put the title 'Stop Missing A Person Who Doesn't Miss You Back', I wasn't thinking about telling any of you to do that. I wanted you to see the title in a form of a question. Can you stop missing a person who doesn't miss you back? Maybe yes, maybe no. Why must you force? Hey, I'm no expert.

However, if you keep missing the same person and remain alone, you're going to let go a lot more names that might give a change. Huh, the more I say it, the more it is going to contradict. And who says life is fair again?

Job Vacancies In (Modern) Malaysia

2010-01-31T15:59:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I'm not much known as a newspaper reader. I have a habit of buying a newspaper and not reading it. Even if I do feel like reading it, it will only be the sports section. However, luckily I'm the only one who's having that kind of habits around (I'm referring to my workplace). My colleagues read newspapers (yes, more than one newspaper a day) everyday. They talk and discuss about whatever hot issue found in the news sections over lunch. Because of that, I'm accidentally aware of what's happening to our beloved country at the moment.

Based on what I've recently heard and 'read', I can say that Malaysia has become a place of various job opportunities. It's like everyday there'll be news telling us about a new job, and it's very popular, too. Here I share with you five popular jobs available for the residents.

1. Hater

Job Scope: to invent a page and provide suggestions on how to hate a person through social networking.
Requirements: candidate must be the not-so-clever type of person, possess adequate communication and persuasive skills.

2. Twisted Idealist

Job Scope: to spread ideas and act like an expert in the so-called said ideology.
Requirements: candidate must possess a sudden urge to give own theories on hot topics, able to understand news and situations based on headlines without needing to study them in depth. Fresh graduates are encouraged to apply.

3. Igniter

Job Scope: to create a storm in a teacup, or in easy words, to wreak havoc over small issues.
Requirements: candidate must be emotional, possess the act-first-think-later attitude, multilingual and able to speak more than required.

4. Racist

Job Scope: to blame everything on skin and religious background, to ignore discussions and investigations.
Requirements: candidate must be selfish, stupid and emotional. At least one year(s) of working experience in the related field is required for this position.

5. Arsonist

Job Scope: to put everything on fire.
Requirements: candidate must be extremely stupid and possess own transportation. No experience is required as training will be provided.

Yes, these are the 'job opportunities' that I found on the news. Ironically speaking, the one place that we once believed was the safest land is now no different from other warring countries. We are no different from them. And perhaps one day we would be just like them. I've started to think that Zimbabwe might be a lot safer than our country at the moment.

And who's going to change that? You, me, us.

DEAR SOMEWHERE YOU

2010-01-23T13:19:00.002+08:00

I don’t know where you are
no, that would be a lie
oh, I’m sure I’m sure you’re there
here or anywhere
I’m not close to you
but you’re so dear to me
and that wouldn’t be fair

It’s not anymore the same since I talked to you
no, that would be a lie
‘cause I never talked to you
though I’ve always wanted to
I’m never there for you
but you’re always here with me
though it has been a while since you last dropped by

It makes me feel good to know you
no, that would be a lie
you don’t even know me
syntactically or semantically or personally
I can’t make you happy when you’re already laughing
but I can make you sad when you’re already crying
never in my life would I want to do that

Do you know how sick I am when I see you?
No, that would be a lie
I’ve never been able to see you
or meet you or hear from you
my mind is spelling your name with very big letters
sometimes they’re this big and sometimes they’re that big
but dear somewhere you would never know

Murdered In 90 Seconds

2010-01-17T13:44:00.004+08:00

We claim that our lives solely depend on what we decide and do everyday. Yet, we do not and will never know when and how our lives will end. It's true that no matter how hard we try to figure it out, there's no way we can tell the exact date and condition of our death. When the day comes to put an end to our so-called 'lives', that's it. No warnings, no clues at all.

The following incident is based on a true story. It happens in just about 90 seconds.

The first 30 seconds...

The boy is sitting in front of his computer table. Then suddenly he looks at his surroundings. The room is hot, so he opens the door and breathes in the cooler air. He closes his eyes for a second and listens to the sounds made by the cats, the people and the lizards.

The next 30 seconds...

He checks out the letter on the book shelf; it's the internet bill. He doesn't care and sits again at the computer table. He clicks on the movie folder, trying to decide on which movie to watch. He keeps looking and looking. Then he hears a sound. A horrible yet familiar sound that he knows so certainly.

The last 30 seconds...

He goes out of the room and sees his noisy nephew entering the house shouting and singing only-God-knows songs! The sense of privacy immediately slips away from his mind. He doesn't want to wait. He quickly pulls back into his room and shuts the door with all the might he possesses. Splash! And a small lizard bloodily flattened within the space between the door and the connected wall. There goes the life of a lizard, just like that.

On average, one lizard dies in every month, amazingly in the very same way.

You're Lucky Enough If You Meet One Of Them

2009-12-29T20:26:00.004+08:00

The best part of living on a string of randomness is, you're never going to know who you're going to meet. Somewhere around the world, there are strangers who are waiting to know you. Somewhere at this very moment, there are strangers who are yet to be friends of yours. Billions of people will encounter you, some of them will know you, a few of them will be close to you, but only a very small number of them will define you. And it's very hard to say which one of them is the real definition of being somebody. But I can tell you this; you're lucky enough if you meet one of these people, at the very least.

1. Those who listen.

Believe me, you may not want to hear anything from anybody. You may not want to get any attention from those around you. But you will definitely want someone to listen to you, and make every word you say worth every minute.

2. Those who tell.

When you're in need, they appear and give what is best for you. They should not tell what you should or shouldn't do, but they should tell what you're supposed to do when you want to. A piece of neutral advice, or thousands of suggestions, they are the ones who provide them.

3. Those who comfort.

It's not necessarily portrayed in a form of physical contact or abstract words. Sometimes it is merely enough to know that they are there for you. When you know they exist somewhere, even though you don't see them, you're already comforted. That's them.

4. Those who walk with.

Be it into the brightest day of your life or the darkest shadow of your fright, life will never be so threatening when you have someone who always walks right beside you. If happiness and sadness don't have any effect on them, what makes you think it will have any on you?

5. Those who stop.

The greatest friend is not the one who always says yes to everything you say. Instead, the greatest is the one who dares to say no to you when you want to jump into something you're not supposed to. A friend who always praises will kill you, and a friend who mocks will make you remain awake.

6. Those who love.

Everyday you wish to love and to be loved. But have you ever thought about a day when you meet people and you never know that one day you're going to fall for them. It's the easiest type of people to meet. You will encounter them sooner or later, and you will feel so great. But remember, the easiest and the greatest don't promise you the best. Nevertheless, they complete you perfectly.

7. Those who inspire.

It is the hardest one to catch. Hear my words carefully. There will be people whose words and wisdom never cease to amaze you. There will be people whose talks and writings never fail to bless you. There will be people who sing songs and poems to you, and not even one bit of regret penetrates you. The only questions are, do you even realize that they are around? And if you do, what are you up to?

That's why I said you're so damn lucky if you're able to meet one of them, and you're luckiest if you have all of them beside you. So, have you met one today?

Edisi Khas Bahasa Melayu 1: Peta Minda Sang Penulis

2009-12-27T19:58:00.006+08:00

Maka dimulakan inti pati karangan enam perenggan berunsurkan intonasi serba mengarut khas untuk Bahasa Melayu tercinta. Mengapa? Khas untuk Bahasa Melayu tercinta. Mengapa? Sekali sekala mengarut dalam bahasa ibunda seronok juga. Maklumlah, pengaruh rakan sebaya.

Hatta tersebutlah sebuah hikayat sang penulis yang hobinya sudah tentulah menulis, pencinta keindahan bahasa dan kata-kata ditegur oleh rakan-rakannya. Mengapa? Sebab dia sangat suka memikirkan sesuatu yang bukan-bukan. Hendak dijadikan cerita, suatu hari dia bercadang untuk menghasilkan sebuah karangan yang dalamnya bukan sekadar kata-kata tumpul sebaliknya...alahai, istilahnya tidak dapat dijumpai.

Andai kata seorang manusia itu malas bernafas, maka ratusan tahun dahulu kaum Mayan pastinya tidak sempat menghasilkan kalendar tepat lalu para saintis dan cendekiawan sekarang juga tidak terbayangkan ramalan tragedi 2012. Andai kata seekor katak itu tidak pandai melompat, sudah tentu penggubah lagu kanak-kanak terpaksa memerah otak menggantikan lagu 'Lompat Si Katak'. Pendek cerita, perubahan sesuatu norma akan mengubah keperibadian seluruh alam.

Ribuan tahun terdahulu pelbagai legenda kecantikan sang puteri dipropagandakan sehingga kecantikan wanita hari ini dibanding-bandingkan dengan mereka. Tetapi jika dua wanita cantik ingin dipertandingkan kecantikannya, haruslah kedua-duanya diletak bersebelahan supaya perbandingan tepat dapat dilaksanakan. Dalam erti kata lain, sang puteri yang hidup pada zaman dahulu patut dibawa ke sini dan ayuh nilaikan keindahannya. Dalam erti kata lain juga, kalau sang puteri yang disebut-sebut itu masih hidup pada zaman sekarang untuk dibandingkan, tentunya dia sudah menjadi wanita tua kerepot dan tidak lagi jelita seperti dahulu. Terang-terang si gadis sekarang akan menang. Tidak begitu? Jadi mengapa harus dibandingkan lagi?

Sang penulis wajib membaca demi memperkayakan ilmu dan bahasa di dada. Namun berapa ramaikah yang sudi meluangkan masa mengeja setiap perkataan dan seterusnya mengeja semula perkataan yang lebih susah? Seperti belasungkawa, fata morgana dan logamaya? Malah si penulis ini sendiri tidaklah sehebat mana. Dia baca kesemuanya, kecuali perkara yang tidak ingin dibacanya. Mengapa? Tepuk dada tanyalah selera.

Dalam halaman ilmu pengetahuan wujud sebuah gerbang yang terbuka luas. Tapi bukan semua mampu menjumpainya. Seperti seorang guru yang pernah menghasilkan peribahasa aneh berbunyi, 'Bagai meletakkan telur goreng di mulut orang mati', jawapan sebenar tidak mungkin diketahui semua. Oleh itu, fikir sebelum berfikir.

KTMB: A Love Story

2009-12-24T22:23:00.003+08:00

So it was a very bright morning that day. I could see clearly everyone's face, the way they moved and adjusted their shoes. The sky was like a shining crystal that allowed me to walk with my eyes closed. The lights were dazzling my sight but I could smell the niceness of their perfumes from so far, indeed. Thank God, because if I couldn't see a thing but suddenly smelled something so fragrant, well, it would scare me to death. And I realized that eyes and the ability to smell don't really relate. But who cares?

Then suddenly there was an announcement.

"Attention to all passengers. Not for your own safety, do stand in front of the yellow line. Because the train will be arriving at platform number two. Very soon. Do get in first before the passengers inside the train get out. Do not hesitate. If some you died, then the place would be less crowded. Thank you."

Nobody listened to the announcement. Nobody followed the order. A minute later, they announced another.

"Attention to all passengers. Due to some technical difficulties, the train from Rawang to Seremban will be delayed for 40 minutes from schedule. I am very sorry that I joked around about your death just now. I do hope for all of you to live. I want y'all to survive and arrive late at respective workplace. I want you to get fired. I want you to suffer, alive. Thank you."

Everyone panicked. The horror of being late was unbearable. But there came in another voice at the station.

"Attention to all passengers. The train has departed from Rawang station. It will be arriving in 25 minutes time. I apologise again for wanting y'all to get fired. I did not mean to mention about it just now. It was too soon. I'll save it for later. Thank you."

Everyone stopped looking at each other. Honestly I had no idea why they looked at other people every time they heard something weird. For that did not matter, a final announcement was made.

"Attention to all passengers. The train from Rawang will be arriving at platform number two. For your own safety, please stand behind the yellow line. Please wait for the passenger inside the train to get out first. Thank you."

Now we know why they were always late and why they always announced something so nicely. Love story? Well, I witnessed that couples didn't really care about the train being late. They were in a different world.

When Will You Unleash Your Worst Feeling?

2009-12-13T19:44:00.004+08:00

Allow me to go straight to the point this time. When will you unleash your worst feeling? A simple question and I believe a lot of us can produce more than one answer or situation that leads to our damnedest emotions. Well, I can suggest some predicaments. Let us see if any of these hits a bullseye.

Predicament One - Losing Your Best Effort

Imagine you're working on something. Be it an assignment or some other work, you do it with your best concentration and determination. Then you finish it, and save it in your computer. The next day when you're about to print and submit it, you realize that the data has been corrupted, or accidentally deleted. Tell me how you feel.

Predicament Two - You Don't Score

Examination is just around the corner and you have been studying and preparing yourself to ensure that you will come up with the best possible result. When the time comes, you enter the hall, refresh your mind, and suddenly you realize that it is blank. You panic, and you don't do well. When the paper ends, you go out and curse yourself, while all of your friends are laughing and telling each other how easy the paper was. Tell me how you feel.

Predicament Three - You Kill Your Pet

You always spend your time playing with your favourite pet. You never miss a day. Then one day your family plan for a seven-day trip and you excitedly join them. Well, you can't bring your pet together, which means you have to leave it. After seven days of thrills, you come home just to see your pet lying in the cage, not moving. You forgot to leave some food and drinks. You even forgot to set it free. Tell me how you feel.

Predicament Four - Someone Dies

This is the regular basis of everyone's emotions. Everyday you love someone, a family or friend or partner, and life is never complete without any of them. But one day you have to face the reality, that people will die and leave you waiting for your turn. When someone you care leaves the world and never comes back, I can imagine how you feel.

Predicament Five - Being Unwanted

Personally, I believe this is the worst. The worst feeling in the world comes out when you see the one you love, is loving someone else. You watch and meet them, you sit right next to them, but you know you can't have them. They talk about other people. They miss other people. And the best part is, you're not good enough to try and win them, and you're not even bad enough to sabotage and turn things around. How would you feel?

Love Love Hate Hate

2009-12-11T09:36:00.003+08:00

Purity of mind is a state that influences humans to act or react in the lives of a society. And yes, it also affects the way one deals with personal emotions. When the mind is crystal clear and fresh, everything goes well and what is not can be made right. But when the mind darkens, not a single thing can define glory and happiness.

Love is one factor that alters this state. When we love doing a thing, then every moment spent on it is never a waste. When we love someone, then all the lights around us turn brighter and put a smile on our face. When we are loved, then there is not a word that scares and makes us feel unsafe.

However, hate is another factor that changes our purity of mind. When we hate a job, then every second feels slower than normal. When we hate a person, then the darkest heart seems to grow. When we are hated, then there will not even be an ounce of joy hiding behind our soul.

But no matter how much we love to love and to be loved, no matter how much we hate to hate and to be hated, we can't choose to only have one of them. We need both. Because despite everything that contradicts our wish, we must first feel them in order to understand them, and finally learn from them.

Love and hate can never be separated. Love and hate can never be terminated. We have got to know the right way to make them work with us. We have got to do the right thing.

Love is the feeling we should love, and hate is the feeling we should hate. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, we need both of them.

Aliens Are Afraid Of Us

2009-12-05T19:16:00.004+08:00

On the 3rd of December 2009, five aliens landed on our beloved Earth. They had been observing our world for years and they believed that was the right time to come down and infiltrate the planet. They thought that we had been very ignorant and forgetting about the definition of being prepared.

They entered a museum, they gave a look at all those pictures and stuff, and they talked. Now, what you are about to read is the translated version of their conversations. It is way above classified.

Alien One:

"You know, one day I saw a couple of humans watching a movie together in their house. In order to learn about their culture and everything, I secretly joined them. I watched the movie with them. Seriously, the movie was damn good! I was emotionally touched! The title was 'The Notebook'. Now I feel like crying, man."

Alien Two:

"Stupid! That kind of movies only makes you become weaker! They give you emotions, they make you cry, they make you become sensitive! We don't need those things! Look at me, last month I stole a DVD titled 'The Dark Knight', and I have been very brave since. It was about a superhero who fights bad people who steal, murder and whatever. And there was The Joker, the craziest super villain you can ever see!"

Alien Three:

"I watched 'The Time Traveler's Wife' the other day, and I just wept. Oh my God, you have no idea how tragic the movie was. Can you imagine, what will you do if you have an ability to time travel, but you can't control it and you keep disappearing like, everyday? And your wife has to wait for you, bear the pain of having another time traveler in her stomach. Honestly dude, it was effing good! And the moment when he knew the day he...he...uuhuhuhuhuu! (burst into tears)"

Alien Four:

"Okay, stop it already! Let me tell you a funny movie that I watched last month, 'Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian'. It was so stupid, yet it made me laugh, mate! Can you believe it? All the statues, pictures and other exhibits in the museum came to life at night! Whoa! Now look around us. Imagine if these things suddenly start moving and talking and attacking us. What's the time, now? Yeah, another 20 minutes. Haha!"

Alien Five (The Captain):

"Okay, let's move out! The mission is canceled!"

Alien One, Two, Three, Four:

"Why???"

Alien Five:

"Are you guys stupid? Have you not listened to what you said just now? They can make you cry, they have a superhero who fights bad guys, they got a time traveler, and their museum becomes alive at night! They are more dangerous than I thought! We need to come up with a better plan! I also heard there will be movies about the most intelligent detective called Sherlock Holmes, and about two great warriors titled 'The Storm Warriors'! You want to wait for that? Don't be stupid, and don't you guys ever watch them! Let's move! Damn, these humans are good!"

Alien Two:

"They also got another alien race that is big and able to transform into any sort of technologies. And they fight for humans, too."

Alien Four:

"Hey, maybe we should find the One Ring that can destroy everything, right? Let's go to Mordor! Or maybe we should create a perfume that makes everyone else bow to us!"

Alien Five:

"Shut up."

Earth Is The Biggest Toilet In The World

2009-11-28T15:57:00.005+08:00

About ten years ago, a boy went fishing near a friend's house. Long story short, after a few hours spent on waiting for fish to finally take the bait, he needed to pee. So he walked into an orchard in order to...you know. He found a bush, he was ready, and before he could manage to 'unleash' everything he no longer needed, he heard a scream! He looked around, panicked, and saw two adults and two kids, all were female, walking towards him. So the scream was actually a shortened version of "Hey! I can see you...!!!"

That was the boy's first and last attempt to pee at a place not called 'toilet' and he failed disgracefully. He never tried or wanted to do it again since.

Well, this story only happened to this boy, or perhaps to certain people around the world. Which means, not everybody has encountered this kind of humiliating incidents, and even if we all have, not all of us learned or regretted that it happened. This leads to the main point of this entry.

Everyday we witness or hear about people (normally men) taking a leak at a place that is not meant for that activity. Bus stations, buildings' walls, car parks, playgrounds and more! As if those places have a signboard telling, "Do pee here for better results", like what is usually found on facial treatment products (they change the first three words of course).

I was thinking about this the other day. Thank God girls aren't provided with the same 'hose' like boys (even though some of them succeeded in visualizing the 'What a man can, a woman can too' attitude), thank God humans aren't made to pee every 10 minutes (even though I do that sometimes when the temperature is low), and thank God I hate Mathematics (this one has got nothing to do with anything).

What I'm trying to say is, if things were the other way round, then Earth would not last long, let alone to wait for 2012 (I give it two and a half stars out of five). My teacher (an ustaz) once told me that taking a leak in the most sincere thing we can ever do. Because we will never regret doing it and say "Oh no! I just peed! What a waste!". It is extremely true! But if it's done at a wrong place, well that's a whole different story.

Look around you now. Don't get shocked if one morning you wake up and see some yellowish liquid and they don't smell like tea, because someone just relieved himself at your house.

GIRLS MEET BOYS

2009-11-23T11:16:00.006+08:00

There was once a girl
who saw an ignorant boy
and she fell for him
but she couldn't reach him

One day she tried to meet him
she wanted to talk to him
and the boy listened
and the girl flew away into the wonderland

There was another boy
who was a stranger
where did he come from?
what was his name?

There was a second girl
who saw the ignorant one
with a jubilant girl
they were holding hands

Then the boy saw that girl
and fell for her
while the girl who was beside him
well, he would want to forget

Then the ignorant met the second
and the jubilant was left unwanted
didn't know what to do
she cried over nights and days

There was once a girl
who fell in love with a boy
but she was never meant to stay
and the stranger came to rescue her day

He didn't do much
but to comfort when she needed one
when her sky was bright he was gone
when the dark clouds surrounded she wouldn't be alone

Perfect For Human Research!

2009-11-13T18:51:00.006+08:00

No laboratory needed, less money included, daily access with more than 20 up-to-you locations, this is definitely the best medium for anybody to conduct a research on human patterns, appearances, attitudes and lives. Almost everything is provided and you do not need to prepare yourself with anything except a very powerful observation and a small absorbent material because you will probably sweat, a lot.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you, Keretapi Tanah Melayu Berhad (KTMB)!

Indeed everyone, KTMB provides you with quite a big number of samples that will help you proceed with the data-gathering process. They are all free and you do not need to worry about the possible 'Can't Do' responses because they will definitely cooperate!

I have just 'done' a study titled 'An Observation On Types Of People Who Step Into The Train That Ranges From Seremban To Rawang Everyday' and come up with several entertaining results. This was done on Friday, 13th November 2009 at 5.30 to 6.30 p.m. I have found five obvious types of people there, which are:

1. 'Fainter'

This type of people is probably the weakest kind of passengers in a train, physically and mentally. Normally they come with a small body and people will hardly realize them. 'Fainters' will drown in the sea of the multicultural train society, like a headless sardine in a can. People will only see them when they are down on the floor. They get seats after that.

2. Actor

They are still new in the industry and getting nervous for their first upcoming advertisement or drama. So they keep practicing and repeating their dialogues, hoping they will be able to memorize them. Their common dialogues are, "Let people out first!!!", "Can't you have patience!!?" and "My leg! My Leg...(pause)...my leg!". With various intonations, of course.

3. Lost Lover

Individuals of this type wait at the train station in pairs. When the train comes, they want to enter together, but the world in never fair, they are stopped and separated by hundreds of immovable figures, that they have to shout to one another, "Wait me at Sungai Buloh's sta....(door closed!)!". Very tragic.

4. Worker

Workers normally possess a temper and are very prone to violence. Since they are so into working and do not have time to socialize, they do not enjoy being with people, feeling the heat and sniffing the odour from the crowd, let alone getting body contact. If one of these happens, their eyes will burn and they will start pushing people away from them. They will also produce a few dialogues to make the drama slightly interesting. "Don't step on my foot!", "Move backwards!", "Move! Move! I wanna go out! I said move!", and "Don't lean on me!!". They are easily worked up.

5. Opposer

Panic or exhaustion might cause this type of people to appear, and they are definitely the most hated people in there. When they are told to wait and let others go out first, they go in. When they are told to move and make way, they stand still. They will normally trigger the Worker to become active, but most of the people would just give up on them. They seem very confident in behaving strangely and doing the opposite.

p/s: This is what you get when the train is overcrowded.

Let's Make It The Other Way Round!

2009-11-10T20:26:00.012+08:00

There is a day in which most of the people, if not all, would wait excitedly in every year. They'd make sure that the day would never be forgotten by themselves, and ironically especially, those around them. If this was to be made a test, the result would be exactly the same; everybody said "Birthday"!

Yes, indeed, most of us here would never want to miss this day. It is like a very special and unique event that allows us to remember how we were made to exist. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same way. I mean, I'm not much of a person who cares about his own birthday. I don't know why. I would be deeply touched if people remembered my day of birth, but I wouldn't mind if they didn't. However, I do understand why, for some people, this day is the most awaited day in their lives. But let's not talk about it, shall we?

I was thinking about what would happen if birthday was meant to be different from what we see now. What if on our birthday, we had to give away presents to people who wished us instead of us getting some from them? What if that was the norm of life? Would people feel the same way about celebrating a birthday? Would they be excited? I don't think so.

I have come up with some possible excuses that people might use in order to avoid celebrating a birthday, if the rule was indeed changed. Feel free to read them.

Excuse One:

"I was born on 29th February. That day only appears once in four years. Too bad that I won't be celebrating birthday this year. Maybe next time, okay? When that year comes, I'd tell you when my birthday is."

The next you meet and ask them, they say, "Oh shoot! You just missed it! It was last week."

Excuse Two:

"I used to have a beautiful cat named Dr. Mohd Farhan Bin Jamal and I loved him very much. One day when we were celebrating my birthday, he suddenly died. I promised myself to never celebrate birthday again since."

Excuse Three:

"I'm in a relationship with a girl who is extremely overprotective. Last year, when a girl who was a friend of mine wished me birthday, she beat her to near death. The next half an hour, she did the same to another friend of mine. This time it was a man. You see? I don't want you to experience the same horror. Just forget about my birthday."

Excuse Four:

"I was found by my parents at a bus stop. Nobody knows when my birthday is. No, please don't speak about giving me a new birthday. I don't want it. It's fake!"

Excuse Five:

"Let's be honest here. You want a present, and I don't have money. So let's stop pretending and wasting our time."

This one is not really an excuse, though.

Well, what excuse do you have in mind? Have fun thinking. :)

Do Not Let Them Miss It

2009-11-05T20:46:00.004+08:00

I would wake up early in the morning just to make sure I wouldn't be left behind. My grandfather would put me on the bike, that I would only sit in front of him. He took me to a food stall, and there I would have my favourite; bread with coconut jam. Then he would buy me some toys that were wrapped nicely in small packets, with some chocolate candies packed together.

He brought me to his orchard, and I would sit in a hut, playing with my toys. Meanwhile he would take hours to run his precious land of fruits and I didn't mind waiting. In fact, I wasn't really waiting for him to finish since I got toys to spend my time with.

There was once my right foot was stung by a honey bee and I cried so loudly. Grandfather stomped it so angrily and said, "how dare you touched my grandson!". Then he had a look at my already-swollen foot, recited something and assured me everything would end up alright. Every night when he got home from the mosque, I would purposely crawl and pretend that I was still a baby to greet him, calling "Atok! Atok!" and he would take me up on his shoulder and say, "That's my grandson!"

He loved me so much, as much as I did for him. He told me that he would never let me down. He whispered in my ear, "I don't like seeing my grandson cry because he didn't get what he wanted". So he always gave me everything I ever wanted as long as he could afford it. But don't get him wrong. He was very strict. He would cane me so hardly if I did something wrong. I would cry, but I never ran away. Then he would appraise me for being brave.

He died when I was 17, the night before my first SPM paper. It was Additional Mathematics. He suffered from a stroke, and for years he had been paralyzed and couldn't move, or talk properly, or smile, or buy me toys, or take me to places, or even punish me when I wronged. He died in his sleep while I was sleeping at home.

I saw a lot of old people playing chess with one another in a place. That place was meant for them, or that was what their children believed. I no longer want to say anything about them treating their folks such a way, and I hope I'll never do the same thing to mine. But what I care about is the grandchildren. Will they ever get the chance to be held dear by their grandparents like I did? Will they ever taste the joy of being taken up on shoulders, or to orchards and other places? Why can't they have the same thing, if not better, like their parents did when they were kids?

Why.

Related post:
http://youcannotreadthis.blogspot.com/2009/09/true-story-of-dad-and-death.html

Nadea & Her Spiritual Walk: Night Three

2009-10-26T22:27:00.002+08:00

Nadea meets a young lady who goes by the name of Marya. She complains about her husband who has been missing for almost five hours. Now that she mentions it, Nadea looks around her and realizes that she is in a gigantic building with boutiques and gift shops and video stores smirking at her dazzlingly.

Few seconds later, a young man approaches with a bundle of bags with foreign names on each of them, and those bags are so abounding that the sight of him can only be realized when he says, "Marya darling, where have you been?".

"That's my line! Where have you been, Jezz?", she claims. Her eyes are glaring at the bag mountain. "I was following you, but you were like, hopping from one boutique to another, and I lost you..", he takes a breath, "..so I decided to do my thing at the meantime." "You mean, do your shopping? Oh my God, can you see, can you see how much you've spent for all of these? They worth a country, Jezz!"

Little does she know that while she is hysterically nagging about the possible worth of her husband's expenses, Nadea is already sitting on another bag mountain not so far from her, and winking her eye at the young man. The young man smiles and says, "I guess what a woman can do, a man can too. You're not doing so bad either, Marya darling."

Nadea wakes up from her bed, and then rushes towards her grandfather excitedly. "Grandpa, can we go shopping today?"

Talking about shopaholic men and women.

Night Three ends.

Hope Is The Only Thing That Keeps Us Alive

2009-10-22T21:54:00.003+08:00

We may fail to realize this, we may not, but every single day that we live, we wish for something. Say that we have already got everything that we ever wished for, and say that we still have not got any of them. What would we do? Say thanks? Moan? Curse? Or smile gratefully?

Or perhaps, we would make a wish.

Today when we live, we wish tomorrow we shall live again. Today when we go to sleep, we wish tomorrow we shall wake up and have a better day. Today when we do not have what we want, we wish tomorrow we shall get it. Today when we get what we want, we wish tomorrow we shall still have what is ours now. Today when we are alone, we wish tomorrow shall never be the same. Today when we are not alone, we wish that it shall last forever. Today when we are hungry, we wish tomorrow shall give us food. Today when we are full, we wish tomorrow we shall eat again. Today when we fall in love, we wish tomorrow shall bring us closer to the loved ones. Today when we are already in love, we wish tomorrow shall never come and make today remain still. Finally, today when we lost someone dear, we wish tomorrow shall wake us up from a bad dream.

This is us. We make wishes. We make believe. We hope. This is all of us. We are all the same. Except for the difference between those among us who hope and do something and make themselves hopeful, and those among us who hope and do nothing and make themselves hopeless.

Nadea & Her Spiritual Walk: Night Two

2009-10-12T18:29:00.004+08:00

Nadea finds out that her beloved blue-eyed teddy bear is missing. She looks for it for hours, and then spends a few hours more crying. Her grandfather does not know how to make her stop, so he decides that it is best to leave Nadea alone in her room and wait for the clouds to finally disappear and make the sun bright again.

Nadea finally falls asleep. In her dreamland, she travels a thousand miles and meets a girl of her age playing with a blue-eyed teddy bear, just like hers. As a normal young innocent girl, Nadea runs towards the girl and grabs the stuffed animal away from her. The girl cries, and she cries so sadly. Nadea tries to ignore, but she cannot bear the guilt of it, and returns the toy right away. The girl smiles again, but Nadea is no longer there to see it. She immediately walks away into a farm nearby.

At the farm, she meets a farmer who is crying. Nadea approaches him curiously and asks for the reason of the dropping tears. The farmer tells her that his farm will be taken by another farmer sooner because of his undying debts. Nadea comforts him for a moment, and then unhappily leaves the farm.

Later she enters another farm which is bigger than the crying farmer's. This time, she is greeted by the owner of the farm; an old man. He talks about how hard he has been working on the farm with never-ending efforts, and how he fends off another farmer by using his debts to him. He forces him to surrender his farm unwillingly. Nadea hates him, and shouts that he should never do that to others. She cries, "You must never take away someone's dear!". But the farmer replies, "But if I were not to buy that farm, then he will work all day and forget about his daughter. Therefore I must stop him from working so that my granddaughter will stop playing alone with her toy and meet her father again. So for the moment, please allow me."

Nadea feels shocked. But she instantly realizes that the old man is just trying to bring a father back to his daughter. So she leaves the farm and rushes back to the girl who she first met. She slowly takes the toy from the girl's hands and explains to her that her father will be back. Before the girl even manages to react, Nadea disappears with the toy. She then wakes up with her grandfather standing beside her, with her beloved blue-eyed toy in his hands. She smiles at it, but then she cries at him, "I didn't know what to do. I'm not sure if what I did was right."

Talking about the chain of events and how one decision affects another.

Night Two ends.

Nadea & Her Spiritual Walk: Night One

2009-10-07T21:32:00.005+08:00

In a secret island far from the mega-cities there lies a small village called Seymonatus, which in it there lives happily a young girl named Nadea. She is only eight years old but she holds a unique magical power that none of the ancients has ever witnessed in a thousand years. When Nadea sleeps, she dreams of events that occur in other places around the world. To her surprise, those events that she dreams of are unbelievably real and happening in the foreign lands. The elders call that mystical phenomenon of hers as a 'spiritual walk'.

One night, Nadea lays her body down to sleep and immediately falls into a deep and peaceful slumber. In her sleep, she sees a big city with hundreds and thousands of machines segregating the lives of humans. There are machines that fly above the skies and take the beating hearts of mothers and fathers far and far away. There are also machines that show pictures and speak words, and make the children forget their meals and books. Then, there are machines that do the work of humans and force them to only sit and watch. Nadea feels disheartened witnessing how those machines separate humans from one another, indulge them with pleasure and stop them from the sense of independence.

She keeps walking and trying to find a way to stop those sickening acts, but only to realize that there is more to them than meets the eye. She then discovers that the same machines bring the hearts of the old ones home, make the smiles out of the kids' faces and save the people more time than they needed. Seeing those heartwarming comebacks, Nadea smiles and wakes up mirthfully from her dream.

Talking about technology and its beauty and ugliness.

Night One ends.

2012, The Sinking Universe?

2009-10-05T22:04:00.003+08:00

Speaking of the theory of 2012 where some believe in that year the planet, our beloved Earth, and its inhabitants will experience a positive physical and spiritual transformation and eventually start a new era, or a New Age, while others predict that in the very same year, we all will crumble before the face of the apocalypse; the Doomsday.

Well, there is nothing we can do but to wait until the year comes and see what happens, isn't it? Be it a new and better Age or the final devastation of Earth, sooner or later we will have to face one of them, or both if we're so lucky.

But, interestingly, 2012 will not be the first moment of the new day, or the beginning of the end if we know who and what we are and how to make the right decision earlier.

What decision?

This decision: should we watch and let those dead souls of the horrible series of earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes suffer the worst pain imaginable and blame us who are still breathing, or should we watch and learn from them?

We cannot stand and fight the wrath of Mother Nature, let alone to win against her. But it's a sign that something has been wrong with the world and us. Is the world too old to let us live, or are we too young to live in it?

Everything happens for a reason, and every action leads to its consequence.
We don't need to wait for another three years to realize that we have wronged the planet and let it explode against us, and we definitely don't need to wait in order to make it a better place to live in. Why don't we start now?

Five Types Of People That You Meet During A 'Hari Raya' Celebration

2009-09-23T02:20:00.004+08:00

1. Kids whose eyes are shining for money.

You can see how happy they are while playing around together with their friends and cousins. They will smile innocently, and then laugh as hardly as possible, and maybe cry a bit because someone has spoiled their dazzling 'Hari Raya costumes' with 'sambal kacang' and 'rendang', but never mind, they will continue having fun nonetheless. But try to forget about giving them 'Hari Raya' money, and you will see how dark their eyes will be and how fierce they can be. Trust me, this is the type of people you do not want to mess with during 'Hari Raya'. Money means everything.

2. Girls who see every angle of the house as a place to pose.

Diva-like dresses, with detailed make-ups and flame-throwing perfumes, these girls will march from house to house with confidence and extreme self-esteem. They will lovely greet the elders, sensually smile at the others, and not to forget, shake hands with 7.1-megapixel cameras. Just name it; the blank walls, the decorated mini park, the tight corner of a kitchen, the narrow space behind the doors, every single place will be good enough for them to say, "What is my favourite food? Cheeeeese!". Captured.

3. Boys who move their eyes up and down and left and right searching for beauties.

They may be simple, and only focus on going through the day, and don't really care about money and food. But beware, for they will not rest until their eyes have found their nest. Oh believe me, what will a young man do when he is gathered in a place full of people from near and far, with their pubescent daughters cat-walking and smiling and waving at almost everybody? Snipe. Find the mark, take your time, and hit the mark. Bang! Heart shot.

4. Neighbours who reach orgasm by the blinding lights hanging on their rooftop.

They will ask for forgiveness for any wrongdoing that they might have done, and they will compliment whatever you are wearing or having. Shake hands, say a few nice things about you and your family, even your cats. Yes, you can trust them. They really mean it. But wait, wait for the next move. "Do drop by at my house, okay? I just bought a new set of home theatre. Oh by the way, did you see those lights? They are new too!" Splendid. Exactly what you want to hear. No.

5. Cops who hate arguing with people but love doing it anyway.

With people going in and out, traveling from one place to another in big cars with hundreds of people inside, not enough seat belts, or not enough speed, this surely sounds a good fortune for them. Be cautious people, it is during this time that these white horses are suddenly becoming invisible and will only appear when somebody breaks the law, or dies trying. They will say, "I'm sorry, I have to, I hate doing this, I don't have a choice..." while their hand is writing the most beloved ticket, if you're insane.

p/s: These types of people are only the minority of our society. Do not take this seriously. Do not hate your neighbours. Do not throw your kids away. Happy 'Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2009'.

A True Story Of Dad And Death

2009-09-05T13:53:00.005+08:00

The question never stops bothering him, "Why didn't you cry when he left you?"

In fact, everyone else had been asking him the same question after that tragedy struck. The boy was 14 years old when he came to the hospital with his brothers at 2 a.m. in the morning, after their mother called sadly one hour earlier, telling them that they should pay him the last visit. He might not make it through the night. His heart was failing.

The father had been there lying unconscious for a month, and exactly the same amount of time earlier, he was celebrating his 50th birthday. He just got out of the operation table about a week earlier, after months staying in the hospital for treatment. On the day of celebration, he told the family to take a picture of the scar on his chest. Never thought that would be the last picture of him they ever took.

Years before his final birthday, he used to take the boy to a video store and buy some movies. They shared quite the same taste. Then they would spend time watching the movies together. Everyday after work, he would reach home at 3 to 4 a.m. in the morning, and the boy would wake up from bed and join him. As usual, they watched movies. In a way, the boy was the closest one to him. In a way, he was the closest one to the boy.

*******************************

The boy can still remember that there was one day when his father woke up from hospital bed, he told the brother to take the boy to a cinema. Because the boy always complained that he had never been to a cinema. The brother did what was told. They watched a Hindi movie, titled 'Kasoor'. It means 'Guilt'. That was what the translation said.

One hour before he was gone, the boy fell asleep, and was only awoken by the tears of his mother. Everyone was crying. But not him. They kept on asking him the next day about why he did not cry. He said, "I don't know". But deep in his heart, he had his own reason. Seeing his father lying on bed again and again for too long, getting worse day by day, he felt that maybe it was right for God to take him away. It was his time. For that, the boy did not cry. For that, he had dreams about his father being alive somewhere too many times.

I’M A PROUD MALAYSIAN, YOU?

2009-08-30T22:32:00.001+08:00

I love the way we live
as we never fail to forget and forgive
we may come from a different mile
but we always see the best of a smile

I hate those who forget
the place they grow others won’t get
why do they leave such a pretty land?
It makes me cry, you never understand

I want to throw all of you people
who don’t recognize the place of an angel
let you all slip away pitifully
away from home you will never see

I’m feeling so good as I see myself
walking on a land you’ll never have
Malaysian is the name I am proud to be
a name that I was born with already

Put A Pause

2009-08-27T03:31:00.004+08:00

Living is definitely like how everyone perceives where you create some ideas or dreams and then chase them and put them into your thought and visualize every single one of them, where fights and battles take place and blame everything on you when things go wrong, but share the victories together when all have been accomplished, though some might say that the celebrations will not be necessary and yet questions like "Why not?" and "What are we missing?" keep on coming again and again and nobody says a word to argue or to dispute whatever that is being said, and people just keep on doing on everything and act like it is just another matter of their daily routine, and when everything is done, nothing can be undone, they start talking and they start fighting and they start putting the blame on everyone else, and it is meaningless, and the words 'it is never too late' are just too late, and if only you and them put a pause...

Please Everyone, We've Got Choices

2009-08-23T01:26:00.004+08:00

Let's play a game, shall we? Now imagine that you're left alone in a deserted island with seven other people. Each of them has their own area of expertise, and every single one of these unique people is able to help you find a way to improve your chances to survive. The only thing that you need to do is; understand what they are saying.

1. A linguist

"When nothingness strikes you, your mind will start wandering. Work with it."

2. A doctor

"Breathing is the most basic thing in human nature. Why rush?"

3. An engineer

"I could create even the most galactic aircraft if I had the tools. How is it now?"

4. A lawyer

"Every act is vital, yet none of us listens to the voice of every juror. What do we lose?"

5. A musician

"When you have the muse, every little sound you hear is a song. Sing along."

6. A chef

"Hungry triggers you to eat, but it is the strength of the heart that gives you the taste you've always wanted. Find that strength."

7. A mathematician

"Circumstances are meant to be dealt with, but they are never meant to be dealt alone. There's got to be more in it."

Yes, of course you can ask for help from every one of them. In fact, that is the most appropriate thing to do. But the question is, who first? The first step is always the hardest.

SOMEONE SHOT ME IN THE HEAD, AND I COULDN’T GET THE BULLET OUT OF MY BRAIN

2009-08-21T02:47:00.001+08:00

Breathe slowly
They told me to
Think deeply
They asked me to
I’ve lived life
Red blood
Cold hearts
Scattered mirrors

Wandering mind
I had once
Lamenting eyes
I cried against
I’ve lived life
Death within
Shining blades
Burning souls